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| EFC STATS |
| Movies Listed: |
17181 |
| Total Ratings: |
209249 |
| Total Reviews: |
21094 |
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| WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS |
"..should stay in Vegas."
Lybarger says... "“What Happens in Vegas” has a similar structure to “Knocked Up,” only it has neither the unplanned pregnancy, nor the laughs. Essentially, the film is a sucker bet, unable to provide any sort of benefit to viewers who haven’t been imbibing as heavily as the main characters." (more)
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| SPEED RACER (2008) |
"Gee, the Wachowskis have sure seen a lot of anime."
Lybarger says... "Having loved ‘Speed Racer’ as a child, it’s sad to report that Larry and Andy Washowski, the brothers who gave us ‘The Matrix Trilogy,’ have retooled that the 1960s Japanese TV cartoon into a gaudy, noisy mess for the big screen." (more)
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| SPEED RACER (2008) |
"Ach NoNoNo!"
Peter Sobczynski says... "Ever since it broke out the syndication limbo where it had languished for most of the 1970’s and 1980’s when it was picked up for a hugely successful run on MTV in the early 1990’s, Hollywood has been trying to bring the cult classic “Speed Racer” to the big screen--directors as varied as Julien Temple, Alfonso Cuaron and Gus Van Sant were considered for the gig and Johnny Depp was once signed on to play the lead role. However, none of these versions came to pass and while I don’t know the details of why these particular versions never came to pass, my guess is that in each case, people signed on out of an affection for a program that they remembered loving as children but when it came down to transforming it into a viable film project, it began to dawn on them that there really wasn’t much to the show that one could hang a feature-length narrative on. Virtually every episode more or less followed the same rigid template--Speed Racer would be in a big race, the bad guys would try to sabotage him somehow and he would either a.) press a button on the fabulous Mach 5 and get out of trouble in time to win or b.)get knocked unconscious and need to be rescued by girlfriend Trixie, younger brother Spritle (not to mention his pet monkey Chim-Chim) or Racer X, the mysterious masked rider who, unbeknownst to Speed (who evidently didn’t listen to the narrator, since it was mentioned at least once in every episode), was really his presumed dead older brother, in time to win--and even at only 22 minutes, they tended to wear out their welcome long before the end credits. Face it, when people think back on “Speed Racer,” all they are really remembering is the undeniably catchy theme, the kicky visual style (it was one of the progenitors of the anime movement) and the goofy dubbing in which the characters would abruptly spit out long and wildly overwritten statements in an effort to match the lip movement of the original Japanese animation." (more)
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| WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS |
"Little Fear But Plenty Of Loathing In (And For) Vegas"
Peter Sobczynski says... "Hollywood that delighted audiences with clever plots, witty dialogue, brisk pacing and likable characters played by endlessly charismatic performers playing wonderfully off of each other with the precision and timing of a well-oiled machine. Of course, times have changed since then and the makers of this particular film have made a few adjustments to that once-surefire formula. Instead of a clever plot, they have provided us with an unwieldy amalgamation of one of the best black comedies of the last two decades, “The War of the Roses,” and one of the worst, “Sour Grapes” (otherwise known as the Larry David project that he would prefer everyone to simply forget). Instead of witty dialogue, they have provided us with vulgar attempts at humor that tries (and fails) to illustrate the lighter side of misogyny, racism, homophobia, spousal abuse, emotional cruelty, poorly maintained bathrooms and punches to the groin. Instead of brisk pacing, they have provided us with a film that moves at a pace that would require a 10,000-volt jolt in order to goose it up to the level of “somnambulistic.” Instead of likable characters played by endlessly charismatic performers playing wonderfully off of each other with the precision and timing of a well-oiled machine, they have provided us with a group of actors trying and failing to strike any comedic or romantic sparks while playing characters who are so stridently unlikable and off-putting that most audiences will find themselves silently (or perhaps not-so-silently) praying that this will be another Vegas-set saga that utilizes Joe Pesci, a vise and a few pre-dug holes in the desert. The end result is easily the worst romantic comedy that you will find in theaters this weekend (or possibly this year) and yes, I am fully aware that “Made of Honor” is still playing." (more)
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| WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS |
"Makes Made of Honor Look Like Once"
Erik Childress says... "Despite what is destined to be one of the most negative reviews I write all year, I would nevertheless like to offer a sarcastic “thank you” to the filmmakers of What Happens In Vegas. Never before has one film managed to destroy two things I hold very sacred – Vegas and Huey Lewis. The former, very obvious in its desecration, turning a vacation spot my friends and I call our second home into a den of iniquity where once again the bad apples ruin the sanctity of its escape in only about 15 minutes of screen time. On the flip side, there’s the brief but distinctly awful cover version of the Huey & News classic, “I Want A New Drug” that plays on the soundtrack for all of 15 seconds but is a direct thought to every member of the audience who is going to need something a lot stronger than Sour Patch Kids to make it through this unrelentless excuse for a romantic comedy." (more)
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| SPEED RACER (2008) |
"There's Nothing Speedy About It"
Erik Childress says... "Most of the television-to-film adaptations have inspired the kind of vitriol normally reserved for totalitarian coups and entrepreneurial dogfight operators. For every Fugitive there is generally a Scooby-Doo with a Bewitched, Wild Wild West and The Avengers to follow. The perceived attitude to the announcements of such projects come such critical greatest hits like “Hollywood has run out of ideas” and “Was anyone crying out for a such-and-such movie?” When the Wachowski Brothers, the wunderkinds behind the Matrix trilogy, would be bringing cult ‘60s cartoon Speed Racer to the big screen there was reason to at least sit up and wait. After all, their action sequences practically spawned their own genre and, considering their chase scene in The Matrix Reloaded is one of the modern best, the potential for a film that could promise us one long cross-country race makes one giddy at the possibilities. Once you grant them their style though in the film’s elongated 20-minute prologue, Speed Racer devolves into one of the most painfully ill-conceived borefests to ever grace a summer movie season and an easy candidate of one of 2008’s worst films." (more)
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| SPEED RACER (2008) |
"Stop, Speed Racer, stop!"
David Cornelius says... "The Wachowski Brothers set out to make a movie that’s exactly like the old “Speed Racer” cartoon. They succeeded, in that both the cartoon and the new movie are giant piles of unwatchable crap." (more)
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| REDBELT |
"Arena Of Games"
Peter Sobczynski says... "David Mamet has been praised so often for his skills as a writer, both as a playwright and as a screenwriter (regarding the latter, I would be perfectly willing to include him in the pantheon of all-time greats simply for his contributions to “The Verdict,” “The Untouchables,” “Wag the Dog” and the Alec Baldwin scene from the screen version of “Glengarry Glen Ross”), that his equally strong gifts as a film director are often overlooked entirely. Since making his debut behind the camera with the masterful 1987 con-man drama “House of Games,” he has given us a steady stream of films that have seen him constantly stretching himself as a storyteller--he has given us the Capraesque comedy “Things Change,” the intense police procedural “Homicide,” the big-screen adaptation of his own play “Oleanna,” the cinematic puzzle “The Spanish Prisoner,” the low-key drawing-room drama “The Winslow Boy,” the hilariously rude Hollywood satire “State & Main,” the gripping crime film “Heist” and the brilliant intellectual action film “Spartan” (arguably the best of the bunch)--and with the sole exception of “Oleanna” (which was hampered by the fact that he was adapting one of his weakest plays), each one of those titles can stand proudly among the finest cinematic achievements of their respective years. And yet, he continues to be underestimated as a director (if he is estimated at all) by people who focus only on his writing skills without realizing that he has developed into one of the most consistently interesting American directors working today." (more)
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DVD REVIEWS FOR 5/9: "THE CAR IS IN THE DVD PLAYER!" by Peter Sobczynski |
| "If you are somehow able to tear yourself away from the glories of "Gossip Girl"--somehow, the fact that Serena apparently killed someone makes me like her all the more--there are a ton of DVDs to check out in this week's list, including more than a few that I never dreamed would ever be released. (By the way, if any of you out there even vaguely know Liv Tyler, I beseech you to put in a good word for me.)" (more) |
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MISS TOGAR SPEAKS! AN INTERVIEW WITH MARY WORONOV by Peter Sobczynski |
| "Perhaps the only actress who can claim to have worked with the Velvet Underground, the Ramones, Andy Warhol, Oliver Stone, Andy Kaufman and Dick Miller, the star of such cult classics as "Death Race 2000," "Rock 'n Roll High School" and "Eating Raoul" talks about her highly eclectic career." (more) |
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P-P-P-PORN?!: AWARDS SEASONING PART ONE by L. Pete Morton |
| "Over the past several weeks, I’ve had the fortune of being able to view various adult films from 2007 that are noteworthy for one reason or other. They were all nominated for at least one award by several different awards-giving agencies (which are legion in adult film). If I had more time, each of these films would deserve an individual write-up. So that I can be sure this stuff gets reviewed before 2009, I’m going the “capsule review” route." (more) |
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'AND YOU DON'T TALK TO HER. YOU USE YOUR FACE. YOU USE YOUR BODY. YOU USE EVERYTHING. THAT'S WHAT I DO.'
- Mike Damone, Fast Times At Ridgemont High
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