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Destinee



Joined: 13 Jun 2003
Posts: 281
Location: Upstate NY...WAY upstate( no, not prison)

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2003 2:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
you just might have wound up with a bottle of Hooch™, and one of my shoes jammed up your tight poop chute.


Doesn't do a thing for me, Bob. Tell you what:

The Irish part of me will get drunk while the black part DARES you to lift that wooden leg so that the Indian part can scalp you clean. I told you once, i'll tell you again swapdaddy...THE ASS IS ALWAYS SWEETER ON THE OTHERSIDE!

DEST Wink Laughing Wink Laughing Wink
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Big Ole Badass Bob



Joined: 28 Mar 2003
Posts: 394
Location: Seattle, Texas

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2003 2:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dest - If you're trying to scare ole Bob off.. it ain't gonna work. Wink

There are few things that scare me. One of them being transvestite midget assassins. *cringes, then pisses in his pants* I don't even wanna think about that any longer!! Wink

Bob has huge elephant balls though.. so he'll take you up on any dare. Very Happy
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Destinee



Joined: 13 Jun 2003
Posts: 281
Location: Upstate NY...WAY upstate( no, not prison)

PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2003 3:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bob, of course I ain't trying to scare you. Lil' ole me? Just letting you know that you'd never be able to put ANYTHING near my taboo area. let alone a foot. Bob, you couldn't catch me if I were a cold. Pssssssssssssssssssttt!

Dest Razz
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Daddy Plaid



Joined: 11 Feb 2003
Posts: 1046
Location: Plaididia

PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2003 2:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Big Ole Badass Bob wrote:
And I think you're mistaken.. I didn't say anything about Mormon babes. For there is no such thing as a good looking Mormon broad. You must be high on crack.. but that's okay.. I still like ya. Very Happy

Reminds me when I was serving the USAF over in England and hooked up with a hottie at an offbase pub....took her home and in the heat of the moment discovered the pictures in the living room of her dad, who coincidentally was the base commander........ Shocked

To top things off, she informed me she
was Mormon.....a virgin......her dad was asleep upstairs.....
and she was 17 Shocked

She WAS a HOT Mormon Babe!!!
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It's Spaceball 1...They've gone to Plaid!
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Maegs
HBS Monkey
HBS Monkey


Joined: 12 Jul 2002
Posts: 1474
Location: The Moroccan Quarter of Provo

PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2003 6:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Big Ole Badass Bob wrote:

And I think you're mistaken.. I didn't say anything about Mormon babes. For there is no such thing as a good looking Mormon broad.


Apparently you've never actually seen a Mormon broad...

Scott, Erik, where my witnesses at?


-M
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TheAngryJew
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2003 7:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm a witness.

Carina's quite cute.
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y2mckay
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Joined: 13 Aug 2002
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Location: Bay Area, CA

PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2003 7:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, she was . . .

Then she had to go get married and up the pole Razz
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Big Ole Badass Bob



Joined: 28 Mar 2003
Posts: 394
Location: Seattle, Texas

PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2003 7:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maegs - I don't believe it. If you're a good looking broad.. then you must either be a spy from the Evil Empire of Canada.. or you're an agent of the diabolical group known as.. El Mexican-o Spy-o's! Rolling Eyes

It don't matter though.. even though Bob don't like them groups much.. he'll still throw a fuckin' on ya. You a good woman, I'm gonna take you out and we'll go dancing, and then we'll have a romantic candlelight dinner at KFC. I'm going all out for you.. sweet tits. Very Happy

Mr. Jew - Although I respect your opinion.. I can't trust the Jews. Sad You sons-of-bitches took all my money back in '95.. that.. and you stole the ass cherry of my dog Skip. Poor Skip.. he don't dookie right any more after that. You're even more sadistic than those magic-eyed, Oriental midget assassins! Wink

As my Uncle Frank always used to say.. "Trusting a Jew, is like letting your woman stick her dildo up your poop hole.. sure.. it feels good at first.." Oh.. wait.. never mind what Uncle Frank had to say. Embarassed

Now.. if you'll excuse Bob.. I've gotta go empty out the rest of my crap tank. Seeing horror movies like Freddy v.s. Jason makes ole Bob dookie in his shorts. Not because it was scary.. but because I forgot to go when I left the house today. Laughing
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Last edited by Big Ole Badass Bob on Sat Aug 16, 2003 7:29 am; edited 1 time in total
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TheAngryJew
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Joined: 12 Jul 2002
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PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2003 2:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bob for Message Board President!

Fucker makes me laugh!
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Big Ole Badass Bob



Joined: 28 Mar 2003
Posts: 394
Location: Seattle, Texas

PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2003 7:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mr. Jew - How about just plain Bob for President? Wink

You can be my silly little Jewish Vice President/sidekick. Very Happy

Together you and me will rid the world of evil Canadians, dirty Mexicans, scary Mormons and of course.. the British. We'd go after the magic-eyed Orientals too.. but we'd need a bigger army of whores to take them down.. plus they've got midget ninja assassins. How the hell do you top that?! Shocked

And by Mexicans.. I do mean just the men.. we need the women around to be our filthy whores. I guess the same can go for the women of our arch rivals as well. How's that sound, son? Twisted Evil

Yes, Bob is a drunk, a womanizer, and just plain psychotic.. but how much worse can I be than all those other sons-o-bitches that have been in office before me? Vote for Bob Johnson.. he's your man! Rolling Eyes
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Thumb the Toad
HBS Monkey
HBS Monkey


Joined: 02 Jan 2003
Posts: 895
Location: CT's alcohol capital

PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2003 9:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Big Ole Badass Bob wrote:
As my Uncle Frank always used to say.. "Trusting a Jew, is like letting your woman stick her dildo up your poop hole.. sure.. it feels good at first.." Oh.. wait.. never mind what Uncle Frank had to say. Embarassed


You always crack me up, B.O.B.B.
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Daddy Plaid



Joined: 11 Feb 2003
Posts: 1046
Location: Plaididia

PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2003 8:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really wish I was super rich,
I'd love to get a billboard size poster of that avatar and
stick it on the steps of our capitol with a caption
Bob Johnson for President

Running platform
Close the borders to all, but the whores.
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It's Spaceball 1...They've gone to Plaid!
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Big Ole Badass Bob



Joined: 28 Mar 2003
Posts: 394
Location: Seattle, Texas

PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2003 10:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Daddy Plaid - Son, I'm gonna hire you as my campaign manager. God damn it, you good! Very Happy

You know, the other day Bob was watching the 1993 hit movie: In the Line of Fire, staring Clint Eastwood, and this got me thinking about the years I spent in the Secret Service, and the time that Bob saved former President Clinton's life. I know, you're saying.. when the hell was he ever in danger? Confused

It was back in '95, and the President was out fishing in The Gulf of México, and everything was going just fine, until he got back to his hotel room, and found an explosive device inside his pants. Yes, the explosive device was attached to his beef stick, and upon scratching his rubbery scrotum sack, he activated it. Calling out for me, I came running in, and we soon found out that if Billy boy didn't relieve the pressure in his "package", that it'd go off.. and I mean the bomb you dirty pricks.. the BOMB! Mad

So Bob thought quickly, and came up with an idea. I got Juanita, the cleaning lady to come into the room.. and realizing that she was Mexican, Bob knew that whore would do just fine. Bending her over, our fearless President stuffed his "Presidential Love Rod" into her tight caca cave. After five long seconds, he was done, and the explosives were secured in the whore's ass. I took her out to a field, and detonated that bomb, ensuring the safety of President Clinton. Ah, those were the days. Rolling Eyes

You can read all about it in my upcoming book entitled.. Bob Johnson: Secret Anus Man. Twisted Evil
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Thumb the Toad
HBS Monkey
HBS Monkey


Joined: 02 Jan 2003
Posts: 895
Location: CT's alcohol capital

PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2003 11:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

B.O.B.B. should start up his own website for his ramblings and importing Mexican whores.

The traffic would skyrocket. It'd be damned hilarious.

Oh, and I'd be the admin so B.O.B.B. can spend more time raving than bothering with web design.
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Kyle



Joined: 12 Jul 2002
Posts: 568
Location: Chicago

PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2003 11:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Big Ole Badass Bob wrote:
Daddy Plaid - Son, I'm gonna hire you as my campaign manager. God damn it, you good! Very Happy

You know, the other day Bob was watching the 1993 hit movie: In the Line of Fire, staring Clint Eastwood, and this got me thinking about the years I spent in the Secret Service, and the time that Bob saved former President Clinton's life. I know, you're saying.. when the hell was he ever in danger? Confused

It was back in '95, and the President was out fishing in The Gulf of México, and everything was going just fine, until he got back to his hotel room, and found an explosive device inside his pants. Yes, the explosive device was attached to his beef stick, and upon scratching his rubbery scrotum sack, he activated it. Calling out for me, I came running in, and we soon found out that if Billy boy didn't relieve the pressure in his "package", that it'd go off.. and I mean the bomb you dirty pricks.. the BOMB! Mad

So Bob thought quickly, and came up with an idea. I got Juanita, the cleaning lady to come into the room.. and realizing that she was Mexican, Bob knew that whore would do just fine. Bending her over, our fearless President stuffed his "Presidential Love Rod" into her tight caca cave. After five long seconds, he was done, and the explosives were secured in the whore's ass. I took her out to a field, and detonated that bomb, ensuring the safety of President Clinton. Ah, those were the days. Rolling Eyes

You can read all about it in my upcoming book entitled.. Bob Johnson: Secret Anus Man. Twisted Evil


I think Bob should watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory next. Laughing
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Thumb the Toad
HBS Monkey
HBS Monkey


Joined: 02 Jan 2003
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Location: CT's alcohol capital

PostPosted: Sun Aug 17, 2003 11:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He'd probably remake it into His Willy, Wanking and the Ass-Chocolate Factory.
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Destinee



Joined: 13 Jun 2003
Posts: 281
Location: Upstate NY...WAY upstate( no, not prison)

PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2003 8:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nah, He'd change the title to " Willie's wanker goes up the chocolate factory". Bob, you so crazy.



Dest Laughing
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Thumb the Toad
HBS Monkey
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Joined: 02 Jan 2003
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Location: CT's alcohol capital

PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2003 9:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am infinitely more nuts than he is.
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Jack Sommersby
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2003 11:23 am    Post subject: ---------- Reply with quote

Nobody -- or, to be more precise, nothing -- is more certifiably nutso than Booty-Obsessed Bob.

Shocked
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Big Ole Badass Bob



Joined: 28 Mar 2003
Posts: 394
Location: Seattle, Texas

PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2003 2:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thumb - Hmm.. Bob's own website? That's not a bad idea. Damn it son, I'm liking you more and more every day. Very Happy I'm gonna send you a couple bottles of Hooch™, and two of my finest whores. Just watch how much you drink around them though.. cause you're liable to wake up the next day with a sore shit box, and a pile of dookie on your chest. Bob made that mistake once with them. Surprised

Kyle, Thumb & Dest - Uh-oh, you've hit a sore spot with me. As much as Bob enjoyed the 1971 kooky hit movie, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, staring Gene Wilder.. I have no interest in it.. any more. See, I'm still really pissed at Warner Bros. Studios for what they did to that movie. For it was actually based on some of the events in Bob's earlier life. But them sons-o-bitches changed almost everything. I didn't mind it when they changed the name, which originally was: One Eyed Willy and the Chocolate Poop Cave Factory. I didn't have a problem with anything, that is.. until they took out all the Mexican whores and replaced them with fucking midgets. That is just unforgivable! Evil or Very Mad

God damn it, Bob's VERY angry today. I better take it out on some of my whores. Nothing soothes the pains of yesterday, like sticking a hot poker up the anal love passage of some dirty assed bitch. Wink

Jack - Hey now, son.. them doctors haven't been able to prove that ole Bob is certifiably nuts. And if you don't have any evidence, then you ain't got shit. Besides.. Bob knows a thing or two about getting rid of evidence. I'm good at hiding shit.. I mean, hell.. they still haven't been able to find Jimmy Hoffa's body after all these years. Maybe I'll tell you guys all about that one of these days. Rolling Eyes
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Destinee



Joined: 13 Jun 2003
Posts: 281
Location: Upstate NY...WAY upstate( no, not prison)

PostPosted: Mon Aug 18, 2003 2:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bob, I STILL am trying to figure you out. I don't quite know where BOB starts and your sadistic, pooper-scooper, whoremonger alter-ego ends. As amusing as you may be, you are a bit too descript for me sometimes. I think your perverse obsession with the female "ass" isn't normal. You talk about your "Hershey" colored Phallus like one would talk about playing golf. I will share something with you(only because I like you a little bit)...you know that little opening(ah, let's call it...your PEE hole)at the tip of your fella? Do you realize that everytime you enter the "Dark" zone, you leave with a little bit of reminder trapped inside? Know what that is called? A disease waiting to happen. Careful where you put it, stud. I'd hate to read about you in "Weird News".

Dest Wink
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Thumb the Toad
HBS Monkey
HBS Monkey


Joined: 02 Jan 2003
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Location: CT's alcohol capital

PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2003 12:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There is no on Earth that has more of a female ass fixation than good ol' B.O.B.B., we all know that.

He wins yet another Pervert of the Year award.
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Jack Sommersby
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Joined: 12 Dec 2002
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2003 9:27 am    Post subject: -------- Reply with quote

Dest,

Thanks for the graphic description of the fecal remains in the 'ol tallywacker. It's a sickening, disgusting, and borderline-amoral act, I tell you...

...so how about giving me anal? Unlike Bob, I won't need both hands and a 200-watt flashlight to find your "alternate" love canal.

Razz Twisted Evil Exclamation Laughing Cool
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2003 10:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jack my love,

Why do you men so anxiously desire the "Cone" when the "ice cream" is so scruptious? I don't get it, I don't get, I don't get it! I think there is something terribly savage about that. I know women that LOVE it, but me personally, uh uh. What in the f&*&! is so good about feeling like somebody is LITERALLY tearing you a new one? Sorry babies, mama uses the part that was designed for abuse...feel me? Even animals KNOW where to stick their sticker. Even when dogs do it "Doggie Style", it is the love canal that they aim for. Oh well, I am so thankful my guy isn't an ass fanatic, yet we both are multi-orgasmic doing it the Old fashioned way. Thanks but NO THANKS!

Dest Twisted Evil Rolling Eyes Embarassed Cool Wink
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Big Ole Badass Bob



Joined: 28 Mar 2003
Posts: 394
Location: Seattle, Texas

PostPosted: Tue Aug 19, 2003 11:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dest - Bob is immune to diseases, and cannot be be killed by conventional weapons. Rolling Eyes And quit trying to figure me out. Some things are better left off as a mystery. You a good woman though. You may fight it, but you know in the end, that Bob's meaty yard stick makes your buttho' leak. And Bob knows the perfect way to stop your anal leakage. But first I'll quench the thirst of your tuna casserole cave. I'll be over in a couple of hours, so be naked and ready for me pumpkin tits. Wink

Jack - Son, the only reason I'd ever need two hands, would be, because I needed both of them to hold my mammoth Dookie Pounder™ before shoving it into her chocolate doop chute. Very Happy And hey, I ain't got no problem finding it either, you dirty son-o-bitch! Hell.. I can see her gaping tool box all the way from good ole Seattle, Texas for Christ's sake! Surprised
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