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Cinema etiquette
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Oz
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2002 2:42 pm    Post subject: Cinema etiquette Reply with quote

Don't you hate how some people talk in the cinema - all the time - and when you ask them to shut the hell up they act like you walked into their living room and hit pause on their video?

And I mean, I'm not racist or anything, but you all know which cultural/ethnic group is usually the one that fits this description... So I'm asking, why?

Why can't they shut the hell up when everyone else in the cinema is quiet and watching the screen? I nearly got in a fight with a dude last week who wouldn't shut up during the last five miues of Road to Perdition, and objected when I booted unholy fuck out of the back of his seat.

Oz - I'm asking.
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Eric D. Snider



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2002 2:54 pm    Post subject: Cinema etiquette Reply with quote

You're right that black audiences tend to be rowdier, and I think it's a cultural thing. There's never any excuse for bad manners, though, no matter what your culture is. As far as what the reason for it is, I don't know.

The cause is VCRs. In the past 20 years, we've become a society where going to the movies is not a big deal, because we watch movies in our homes all the time. And obviously, the informality of videos (and now DVDs) makes our attitude toward movies in general informal.

You used the word "cinema" in your subject line, and in the United States, "cinema" is word no one uses anymore because it's too snooty. These aren't "cinemas" we go to, and we don't watch "films." They're movies! They're just like the videos we see in our living rooms, but 'cept bigger!

What's funny about it is that if you polled 100 people on the street, every single one of them would say it's annoying when people talk during movies. Yet if you followed each of them, you would find that 70 of them TALK DURING MOVIES! People don't think they're doing it. They think whispering is enough not to be heard by others (it's not), or they think just saying the occasional random comment like, "That's a pretty dress" doesn't count as "talking" (it does).

One of the major reasons I'm glad to be a film critic is that we got press-only screenings of about half our films, which means we can count on enjoying it in silence. And even at the public screenings, two or three rows are tapes off for us -- more than we need, so there's a buffer zone between us and the regular folks. One hates to be an elitist, but damn, the public sure is annoying.
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TheAngryJew
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2002 3:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well said, gentleman. More than half of the screenings I go to are 'promo' screenings, which means that 15% of the audience is critics/press/friends of reps/ etc., and the other 85% is a teeming, yawing, ball of ignorance that I like to call "mindless sheep"

"Huh what? You done did got a free movie pass on duh radio? What movie? Who's Merchant Ivory? Who cares, it's free! If we don't like the movie we can chat amongst ourselves and fiddle with our cell phones!"

For the 'bigger' flicks (ie - Clones, Signs, etc.), I often get invited to 10AM press screenings, and while that makes for an early morning and a quiet theater, it's often heaven on earth.

If usually let a person go for a period of say fifteen minutes or so. I figure maybe the dolt needs to get into the movie before he'll shut his fucking yap. But, much like the "life bar" in any video game, I have this internal gauge that swells every time I hear chatter behind me. Here's what I do:

I turn around and hiss a "SHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" at them at hold my look for about 3 beats, then I turn around. The response from most morons is a barely audible mutter along the lines of "...you...shut up...don't tell me...shutup..." and then they're usually silent for the rest of the movie. Shit, they don't know me! They could have just been shushed by the next Jeffrey Dahmer.

One more than one occassion, I've had neighboring moviewatchers get my back: "Yeah, man, what he said! Stop talkin'!" To those people I say fuck you; you should have had the balls to say something first.

"That's a pretty dress." I hear comments like that at EVERY movie I see, and I swear they make me want to leap over my seat, and kick random people in the face until I find the talker.

I'm all aggravated now. Where's my bong?
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Maegs
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2002 3:53 pm    Post subject: hmmmm Reply with quote

While occasionlly there is a movie or two that have talkers no matter what, I have found a couple ways to get around this.

Matinee, Matinee! Even the 4:00 shows are pretty empty on week days. Friday nights & Saturday nights are bad. And the worst place to catch a flick? The dollar shows, since people aren't paying the strict tab, they are more likely to cause a ruckus.
In my neck of the woods (well duh) we've got a big problem with babies and toddlers in the theater. Still, the full price show also removes some of that problem as well.

The last time I told someone to shut up in the theater, she came over after the movie and slugged my friend in the face. Shocked
So I do tend to be more careful now.

-M
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2002 4:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shocked

Hehe. That's a funny expression.

Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked Shocked
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Eric D. Snider



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2002 4:09 pm    Post subject: Dollar theaters Reply with quote

Oh, Maegs. You touched a nerve.

Maegs and I have associated with the same dollar theater, Movies 8 here in Provo, Utah. This is this worst place on Earth, I'm sure of it. (Movies 8, not Provo.) (Well....)

It is overrun by teen-agers, first of all, which should be enough to scare anyone off. The seat backs are too high, so that it's impossible to put your feet up on the seat in front of you (it's not stadium seating), so it's uncomfortable for slouchers like me to sit there.

Furthermore, because we are a notoriously cheap college town, on a weekend, ALL showings are sold out. All showings. No matter how bad the movie was, you have to show up by about 5 p.m. to get tickets for anything that night.

Tuesdays are packed, too. Why? Because that's the night when, instead of costing $1.50 or $2, all tickets are just 50 cents. That's right, folks: There are people who are such CHEAP BASTARDS that they will wait three months for a film to show up at Movies 8, and THEN wait another week until it's 50-Cent Tuesday (Jewsday, as some of the more crass locals will call it). If all movies cost a nickel every day except on Tuesdays, when they were one cent, people would wait until Tuesday to go. I HATE THEM SO MUCH.

But as a result, on the rare occasion that I am dragged to Movies 8, I don't mind the misbehavior of the audience, and I generally contribute to it. Why? Because either these people have already seen the film, so it doesn't really matter; or else, if it's their first time, they're cheap bastards who don't deserve to enjoy it.

There is no sanctity of the cinema when dealing with dollar theaters.

Maegs, do you remember Central Square, at about 300 North and 200 West? It was a dollar theater, too, that no one ever went to. It was great. Then it closed, of course.
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Kyle



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2002 4:16 pm    Post subject: Re: hmmmm Reply with quote

I usually go to Matinees. They have a lot of advantages, such as they are cheaper, there's less talking, and you still have time to do stuff later on in the day. The last time I went to a night show was the day Attack of the Clones opened. That was a full house, and there was almost no talking, which shocked the hell out of me.

In fact, I have never, ever experienced talking in the movie. I've experienced a ringing cell phone, but the person simply picked it up and turned it off.

It might be due to the fact that my theater runs at least 3 frikken "Be quiet during the movie" messages before every showing, but I'm not sure.
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Collin Souter
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2002 6:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, man, do I have a thing about talkng during movies. I don't even like to pick my seats until just before the movie starts so I can find the area in the theater that is least populated by people. Lately, I've been opting for the very back row of a stadium seating theater. At least that way, no one can talk BEHIND me, which is the worst.

I agree about these evening promo screenings. Went to one last night and it was the first time I was able to use my Online Film Critics Society membership to sit in the press section. I did feel elitist, but you're right. The press knows how to shut up. (The movie was 'Signs" by the way) Rolling Eyes

My girlfriend and I have no qualms about turning around to people and giving them the 'SSHHH!'

But, oh how I love when parents bring their kids to the wrong movies. Last weekend, I caught 8-legged Freaks. Right after a scene involving a giant spider attacking a house cat, an 8-year old girl started crying. The parents just said, "Oh, come on, it's only a movie." She kept crying. Finally, the parents took her out of there. OKay, now, I hate the MPAA ratings system too, but it does serve a purpose. 8-legged Freaks is a PG-13 MOVIE, PEOPLE!!! Not a PG-8, PG-13!!!
Christ, Stuart Little wasplaying in the next theater, what's wrong with that.

Oh, but spiders are animals. She likes animals

Do your homework before taking your kids to movies, dammit!

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Maegs
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2002 6:49 pm    Post subject: Movies8 Reply with quote

They ARE Cheap Bastards. The dollar is perfect for second viewings, like Zoolander. That was fun. The quality of the prints is so poor to begin with, I don't see how people can stand it. I love that people are so cheap about movies, it means the regular theater isn't as crowded.

I do remember Central Square. Both before and after the conversion to a dollar house. It was never crowded. But that place was also nasssssty. I doubt that it had ever, ever seen the business side of a vacuum.

Collin, I'm on the same bandwagon. I despise those parents. The poor little four year old girl sitting next to me in A.I. with her father. "Daddy? Why is his mommy leaving him? Whats happening?" or the 3 year old who freaked in Lord of the Rings. Or the WHOLE Family, 3,5,7 etc who went to see Alien Resurrection on Thanksgiving.

-M
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 23, 2002 9:51 pm    Post subject: manners Reply with quote

Cant say I have noticed any pattern to who is rude in movies. Jerk like behaviour seems to come from people of all races, ages and back grounds. Dont know why people come to the movies to chat. It would make more sence for them to go to a coffee shop or something for a conversation. Wish I had a good idea how to get them to shut up!
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2002 12:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've thought about making a little flipbook of progressively angrier signs telling people to shut up! I hate it that I have to join the noisiness to shush them. Also, I shouldn't have to turn around and miss something. Mad
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Oz
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2002 4:56 am    Post subject: Funny story. Reply with quote

So I'm at this documentary screening at the Sydney Film Festival a few years ago, and I'm digging it. It's a flick about Jose Ramos Horta, a dude who, for almost a decade, had delivered pizzas in NYC by night so he could sit at the UN, representing East timor, by day. Because the country was occupied by the Indonesians, he wasn't allowed to get a little nameplate stating his nation like everyone else had, but because most countries thought East timor got a raw deal, they let him stay and occasionally puthis nation's case for independence forward.

So anyway, fast forward to the halfway point and the jerk beside me is blabbing like a fucking tourette's patient. He's talking to his buddy and going on and on and on about every damn thing in the movie. He's clearly from East Timor, because he keeps pointing out places he's seen and people he knows, so I give him a Shhhh, and he looks at me, looks at his friend, and keeps talking.

So I give him a throat clear - ahem! - another look, more talk.

Running out of ideas on how to deal with this dude, and not being able to move since I'm stuck in the middle of the back row of the highest nosebleed section you've ever seen (Guv, you know what the back row balcony of the state theatre is like, you're actually in heaven. You can see angels), I come up with a plan.

On every seat is a 'free East Timor' flyer (the place has since been freed, by the Australian Armed Forces, since the Americans couldn't see a profit in it), so I slyly pick one of these flyers off the ground, slowly scrunch it up into a ball, being very careful not to let anyone see what I'm doing.

When bigmouth decides to turn his head and tell his friend about boring information fact #79, I quickly fling the screwed up flyer at this guy's head, again being careful not to move anything but my wrist, lest I give away who threw the thing.

And boy, was it a great shot. This lump of glossy paper smacked my theater neighbor in the side of the head and spun off into the next row. It was choice.

He looked at me in shock, immediately thinking it was the Shh guy, but I kept a straight face, stared at the screen, and quashed my burning desire to burst out laughing. He looked at the next guy along, who had no idea of anything going on, then he looked over the row in front, then he reached down and picked up the paper, unscrewed it, examined it, and dropped it.

After looking me over again, he turned back to his friend and KEPT FUCKING TALKING! I'd smoked this motherfucker but he still wasn't getting it.

So I seethed for a while and finally just tuned to the guy and said, "will you shut the fuck up so I can see the damn movie!"

He didn't shut the fuck up. I had to surrender and just accept his commentary.

So I'm fucked right off when the movie ends, but I'm handling because the festivals usually get the director of the flick out to answer questions, and that's good stuff sometimes. So the director comes out, takes his bow, then says to the audience, "the one who should be taking a bow is the man who made all this possible... revolutionary, savior of a nation or opressed people, Nobel Peace Prize candidate... Jose Ramos Horta."

And who should stand up? Only the fucker sitting next to me. The one who wouldn't shut up.

I SMOKED A FUCKING REVOLUTIONARY! I PEGGED A NOBEL PEACE PRIZE CANDIDATE IN THE FACE WITH A FIST-SIZED BALL OF PAPER! HE WAS TALKING BECAUSE IT WAS HIM ON THE SCREEN! THOSE WERE HIS
FRIENDS! THAT WAS HIS COUNTRY! THAT WAS HIM!

So, I'm apparently going to hell n'shit.

Moral of the story, check whether the arsehole in your theater that can't shut up is a member of the UN before you launch a projectile at him. You honestly never know. Rolling Eyes
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Ben
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2002 5:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ha!
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TheAngryJew
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2002 5:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice, long story (lay off the coke) but fuck him.

He wants people to see the movie and learn his story? Maybe he can chit-chat afterwards. You think Spielberg wants Cruise jabbering away while he's watching a new edit?

Talkers suck.

Oh, and I'm planning on being King of East Timor by 2009.
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natasha_theobald
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2002 9:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hollywood Bitchslap should sell projectiles that can be thrown at unruly moviegoers. They could say something cheesy like "You have been bitchslapped" and give the address. I would love to have something to throw. Razz
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Maegs
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 24, 2002 10:50 am    Post subject: oh ohoh Reply with quote

That's the funniest thing I've read in a really really long time.
Thanks Ozzers


-M
on par with this
http://www.theonion.com/onion3826/grad_student.html
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Roy Smith



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PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2002 10:55 pm    Post subject: Hi, I'm a bigot too! :-) Reply with quote

"Don't you hate how some people talk in the cinema - all the time - and when you ask them to shut the hell up they act like you walked into their living room and hit pause on their video?

And I mean, I'm not racist or anything, but you all know which cultural/ethnic group is usually the one that fits this description... So I'm asking, why? "

Hi. Actually I AM a racist! At least when it comes to movies. In Cincinnati (yeah, the riot city) you DO NOT go see a movie the first week at Showcase Cincinnati if dialogue matters to you. I've made that mistake once or twice and it's really not worth it anymore.

Why are black people (and ok, teenagers too) so rude in movies? They can be. They've got their friends with them and know you're not likely to beat them senseless but I've thought about ambushing a person or two in the mens room and throwing them into a stall and beating them into unconsciousness before they could identify me.

Can you guess this really bugs me?
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Oz
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2002 3:02 am    Post subject: Roy, I feel your pain. Reply with quote

Having lived in Cincitucky for a year (and then fleeing to Vegas, then Canada), I totally know what you're going through, Roy. My advice to you... drink heavily. And then move the fuck to a town that doesn't stink - literally and figuratively. There's really no reason for anyone to live in Cincinnati - at all. Ever.

Oz - can you even call it living?
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Roy Smith



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2002 10:57 am    Post subject: Ah!!!! Reply with quote

Having lived in Cincitucky for a year (and then fleeing to Vegas, then Canada), I totally know what you're going through, Roy. My advice to you... drink heavily. And then move the fuck to a town that doesn't stink - literally and figuratively. There's really no reason for anyone to live in Cincinnati - at all. Ever.
Oz - can you even call it living?


Just barely....the rioting is out of control...my personal favorite was the curfew...I haven't seen 16 in a long time and frankly I couldn't believe my City Clowncil basically sent me to my room rather than do their job.

I'm very willing to move. Maybe someplace South.
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Kyle



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PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2002 12:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, why are the fucking directors talking during the premiere of their own goddamned films? Like Scott said, I doubt Spielberg was making his own little director's commentary with Cruise right there in the theater during the Minority Report premiere.

But somebody mentioned age? I saw Jeepers Creepers, and there was a family with about 6 kids, who all looked about 3-10. They were quiet, but who the fuck would take kids to see that?
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2002 1:16 pm    Post subject: Easy Question Reply with quote

[i]But somebody mentioned age? I saw Jeepers Creepers, and there was a family with about 6 kids, who all looked about 3-10. They were quiet, but who the fuck would take kids to see that?[/]

Someone that hated kids.
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2002 1:41 pm    Post subject: Re: Hi, I'm a bigot too! :-) Reply with quote

Roy Smith wrote:
"Don't you hate how some people talk in the cinema - all the time - and when you ask them to shut the hell up they act like you walked into their living room and hit pause on their video?

And I mean, I'm not racist or anything, but you all know which cultural/ethnic group is usually the one that fits this description... So I'm asking, why? "

Hi. Actually I AM a racist! At least when it comes to movies. In Cincinnati (yeah, the riot city) you DO NOT go see a movie the first week at Showcase Cincinnati if dialogue matters to you. I've made that mistake once or twice and it's really not worth it anymore.

Why are black people (and ok, teenagers too) so rude in movies? They can be. They've got their friends with them and know you're not likely to beat them senseless but I've thought about ambushing a person or two in the mens room and throwing them into a stall and beating them into unconsciousness before they could identify me.

Can you guess this really bugs me?


I haven't noticed that the black folks talk more than anyone else, but they definitely laugh harder than anyone, for some reason. And this is actually a good thing when you're watching comedies, which tend to seem funnier when you're in a lively crowd. Laughter is infectious.

Of course, so is VD.

UDM
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Oz
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PostPosted: Fri Jul 26, 2002 6:24 pm    Post subject: And yet... Reply with quote

Not a real good thing during the final five minutes of Road to Perdition though.

Oz - Now in cherry flavor.
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Hessian



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PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2002 7:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ARRRRGGGG!!!!!! I fucking hate those people. Why pay money to go see a movie, if your gonna fucking talk all the way through it? The ones that talk about the movie I can deal with somewhat, at least their talking about what their waching. But the ones that realy drive me to the verge of mass murder are the bastards that sit there and talk about there hemariods and other unrelated shit.
I'm considering taking a tazer to the theater with me from now on. Maybe 50,000 volts will help these fucking retards get the point. Shhhhhh!! ZAP!!!
And OZ, your right. It dose tend to be black folk that can't shut the fuck up.
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y2mckay
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 28, 2002 1:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not to say that Black people aren't sometimes loud, but I have a funny story (Not as good as Oz's though - Fuck Nobel Prize boy!)

I was in a theater with my buddy (two white guys). It was in North Hollywood to see the movie "Trespass" (All black audience). So during the part where William Sadler draws a bead on Ice Cube from an upstairs window (white guy aiming a gun at a black guy), my dumbass friend says (loudly) "Shoot, motherfucker. Why isn't he shooting?"

So these tough looking black guys, who had been quietly sitting two rows down, turn around and politely say "Could you guys hold it down, please?"

I turn to my friend and say "Nice way to almost get us killed, you stupid fuck."

No doubt, though, talkers are annoying. Especially when your own friends are doing it. This one friend of mine think's he's Mike from "Mystery Science Theater 3000" because he occasionally feels the need to throw out some smart ass comment during a film, to which I always reply "Shut the fuck up, Donny!" (his names not Donny, but you get the point). I don't mind if the movie is lame and its an empty theater, but when he's doing it in the middle of "Lord of the Rings" on opening night, I take exception.

In my personal experience, the offenders from worst to least are:

1)People with kids who are too stupid to pay attention to ratings or too cheap to hire babysitters.
2)Stupid fucking teenagers
3)Latin people who annoyingly chat in Spanish who look surprised when I yell "Callate Pinche Pendejo" at them.
4)Drunk Black women (twice! in the same theater. Could have been the same lady).

Matinees are a good work around for those of us who don't have hoity-toity critics credentials (and for those who do - how the fuck can we get in on THAT action?). But if you've got a drive-in anywhere near you, that's the best way to go. Two movies for the price of one, and there's enough space between the cars that I can never hear anyone else talking, even if I'm sitting outside.

Oh, and stay away from second-run "dollar" movies. Especially in Provo, where they are overcrowded with BYU students with nothing else to do because they're not allowed to drink or fuck Twisted Evil
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