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Overall Rating
2.25

Awesome: 20.59%
Worth A Look: 7.84%
Average: 7.84%
Pretty Bad: 3.92%
Total Crap59.8%

3 reviews, 84 user ratings


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It's Pat
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Chris Parry

"I've been saving this one for a special occasion. Prepare for blood."
1 stars

Words can not describe the excrutiating pain that five minutes of this film will leave in your head. Imagine, if you will, having a dentist drill pressed to the back of your head, and every minute or so, for ninety minutes, having it suddenly whir into life and press a little deeper into your skin. A slow, nerve-ripping, skin-shredding, high pitched torture that just gets worse as it goes on. That's It's Pat. I survived to tell the tale, but there were times I wished I could end it all.

Julia Sweeney is Pat, an asexual post-person. His/her neighbors are all obsessed with finding out what sex Pat actually is. They, of course, go through all manner of wacky antics trying to figure out Pat's gender, never succeeding, only getting in more and more crap. I guess it might be a case of stating the obvious to say this, but...

JUST FUCKING ASK, YOU MORONS!

But nobody does. This entire movie, nobody bothers to ask the obvious question. This of course leads the average viewer to either smash their face repeatedly into the nearest heavy blunt object, or simply puncture the veins in their wrists and wait for the hell to end. Neither are particularly happy options, but they sure as hell beat watching this black hole of creativity.

I saw 'Pat' often enough in it's original Saturday Night Live persona, and one thing has always remained a constant as far as this character was concerned. It stank. It was pungent with a foul odour hitherto only experienced right at the moment a three week old floater is dredged out of the Ohio River. It was perhaps the least entertaining, least funny, one-joke theme ever conceived. Carrot Top looks like Lenny Bruce compared to this no-talent hack. I've seen ESPN commercials with better scripts.

Granted, most SNL characters are excrutiating to watch the first time, and only get worse by the end of a season (if I see those God damn chearleaders one more time...), but if you took a poll of anyone who has ever watched the show, It's Pat is a clear winner in the 'Crappiest Character in TV history' stakes. The Saved By The Bell cast and Urkle can all rest easy.

In fact, if the producers of SNL had announced that if they received donations amounting to $100,000 or more, Pat would be killed in a gruesome manner, beaten with sticks and set on fire, I personally would have sent in the first $500. To put this in context, I'd only pay $250 to see N'Sync drowned in warm human excrement.

Ssometimes comedy works, sometimes it doesn't. Writing comedy is the hardest form of writing to perfect (outside of haiku writing, which baffles me to this day), but the It's Pat script is not even close to comedy. It's like someone said to Julia sweeney, "hey, we're gonna make a movie about Pat, we start next week, write something." And instead of saying "that's ridiculous, I need a few months to get a story together", Sweeney thought to herself "shut up, take the money, we'll just wing it. At least I get paid."

Because, seriously, if Julia Sweeney is the slightest bit proud of this disgusting swindle of the moviegoing public (not that anyone actually got swindled, it sank like a stone, but anyway), then she needs putting down.

If I made this movie, I'd want my name taken off it. And I'd put my name to midget porn if it meant a producer credit.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=1019&reviewer=1
originally posted: 03/16/01 14:45:37
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SNL Movies: For more in the SNL Movies series, click here.

User Comments

11/29/11 A nun. I'm a nun, and will gladly say this film is horseshit. 1 stars
10/25/11 Tom This is the Anti Funny and the people that defend it are absurd trolls. 1 stars
5/22/09 Jeff Wilder The only reason it's called Pat is because the H E T I C in Pathetic got chopped off, 1 stars
5/07/09 pinky Still don't know if Pat was a man or woman 3 stars
9/03/08 Shaun Wallner Funny Movie! 4 stars
2/10/08 Diane It's actually pretty funny. I'm not sure what all the ruckus is about. I'd give it at C. 3 stars
11/12/07 moop ummmm, get this person's review off here, it's a great movie actually 5 stars
8/07/07 Johnny Male or female? Not funny. Unique weird-ass/freak character? Occasionally pretty funny. 3 stars
3/05/07 crashisgod its pat is a statement about gender transgression in popular culture. pat is a hero. 2 stars
11/18/06 Sugarfoot Terrible. 1 stars
7/29/06 8=======D SHEMALE HAS A WENIS 5 stars
5/10/06 sarah garrett this is one of the best movies i have ever seen. 5 stars
3/21/06 Jeff Vocal analysis reveals the two characters genders. This movie sucked 1 stars
10/21/05 karen greatest movie ever made! great acting wonderful plot!! if you are a crack head 5 stars
8/31/05 ES In the league with 'Stuart saves his family', drivel, uselss drivel 1 stars
6/17/05 Louise I love this movie 5 stars
5/29/05 Jake Watching this movie felt like Montgomery Burns was sucking my Balls! 1 stars
4/09/05 Tanya Grays it was just as funny as the show on SNL 4 stars
3/30/05 tatum Absolutely awful 1 stars
1/09/05 R.G.Burry Saw this by accident on TV last night. Watched almost an hour because I couldn't believe it 1 stars
11/23/04 Ed Wood, Jr. So stupid, silly and awful it's actually good!! Also sensibly brief (77 min.) 4 stars
8/31/04 MikeT This is in my Top 5 favorite 'I need a laugh right now' films. I LOVE IT!!! 5 stars
6/30/04 Phillip A great movie. Funny and touching. 5 stars
4/05/04 Ben I love this movie. Of course, I also have every Hulk Hogan movie on DVD! 5 stars
2/07/04 Lettuce Head Chris Parry - YOU suck 5 stars
1/18/04 Bemused Often absolute dookie on the SNL sidewalk. Christ, do not watch this film. Eviscerate Pat! 1 stars
1/09/04 Werechild It was actually good 5 stars
12/20/03 danny Eiffelberger Whooa. Smirkt. Goonzina Loves you 5 stars
11/20/03 Paul The worst movie in the history of the universe 1 stars
5/11/03 Alistair Pat symbolizes, crystallizes, explodes the sexual ambiguities of the 20th century. Funny! 4 stars
5/07/03 Spinellie Pat was something eles! Totally Hilarious! 3 stars
4/22/03 Lauren Hilariously retarded 5 stars
4/17/03 qwert this film was cool, in that bad -good way , but that made it great 5 stars
2/02/03 The Infamous EL NINA~ Pat is one sexy Beast! You all are just jealous cuz i want Pat and not you!! 5 stars
10/11/02 SiliconHero Worst...skit...EVER! 1 stars
10/03/02 SCUTH It's the best movie I've ever seen in my life. 5 stars
10/03/02 m. rak This movie was redeemed only by the presence of WEEN!. Huzah for the boognishish pair... 2 stars
10/03/02 John I've had dreams with better story lines than this. I'd rather sleep than watch this. 1 stars
10/03/02 matt rak Pat's voice is quite annoying. Unfortunately, the cacophony pervades the entire movie. 3 stars
10/03/02 Sean Miner This "film" is the fecal by-product of all the horrible movies in the world combined. 1 stars
10/03/02 Pat Riley I snickered at the absurdities (like Charles Rocket's unreal obsession w/ Pat). Funny film! 4 stars
10/03/02 Matt Hubbard Inane,ridiculous;stars Ween,Dave Foley,and PAT (I've always laughed at). Hilarious! Thus 5* 5 stars
9/12/02 MovieSnob I like quality movies, this was not, it was stupid, but I laughed my ass off, why? 5 stars
9/05/02 Suzy So DUMB, it's hilarious! 4 stars
9/03/02 I Can't Swim ITS PAThetic 1 stars
6/20/02 YumYumKing I liked the SNL skits with Pat. I like Julia Sweeney. But, i could barely stand this movie. 1 stars
5/21/02 The Chronic Mastubator Pat's so annoying, I would have just killed him/her to find out "its" gender! 1 stars
5/15/02 Joey Joe Joe Jr. Shabinu I chuckled. Wasn't unbearable. Ween was what made the movie good. 4 stars
4/25/02 Danielle Ophelia JUST ASK!! God! Stupidity really is a worldwide epidemic. 1 stars
4/16/02 Sam Come on the movie has funny parts. It's good. 3 stars
12/23/01 gryansgirl I would rather be eaten alive or sleep with a tapeworm than to ever see it again! 1 stars
10/23/01 Sthenno I chuckled the first time.Now I wanna break the TV when I see it.SHIT! 2 stars
10/20/01 Tim D Undoubetly, unquestionably the worst film ever made. 1 stars
9/20/01 Butterbean Pat is funny as hell on SNL....But her movie is fucking boring! 1 stars
9/08/01 Testicle Fuck-Monkey A masterpiece in modern cinema. It's Pat deserves to be the new Constitution. 5 stars
8/07/01 Rutegar Dupree Its Pat....Its Crap! 1 stars
7/14/01 Trent Freeman I enjoyed the movie. "It's Pat" is a hoot! 4 stars
6/12/01 King Jackass The curse of the SNL movies begins. 1 stars
5/18/01 Bada Bing Crosby The sketches from SNL do not translate/belong on the big screen 1 stars
5/09/01 WB40? Calm down losers...It's not all that bad it's typical SNL. 3 stars
4/09/01 Kerri UGGGG 1 stars
4/04/01 Susie You all suck! Sweet mystery that is Pat--beautiful! 5 stars
3/22/01 Thomas J. he or she? ITS A MORPHIDYKE...NOW GET SOME FUCKIN SLEEP! 1 stars
3/18/01 He's a Guy Holy shit, is this the worst motherfucking pile of fuck ever made? YES. Fuck! 1 stars
2/17/01 Drunk Dave Stay away!!! A true piece of crap!!! 1 stars
12/11/00 TC Worst movie of all time, bar none 1 stars
10/09/00 Ground Zero ronaldo, your comments show that you're a dimwit, this movie needs to be buried 1 stars
8/27/00 ronaldo I was not familiar with the SNL sketch but i laughed my ass off at this.BRILLANT!!!! 5 stars
7/30/00 Digitalus comedy for lowlifes and bozos 1 stars
5/09/00 Pansy There is only one way to describe this movie: it blows! 1 stars
2/22/00 Mr. Kramitall Like K-Dog said, "If you paid to see this... f**k off out of my sight." 1 stars
1/20/00 Add Totally fucking shite, don't even watch this to find out how bad it is. TRUST ME PEOPLE!!!! 1 stars
10/20/99 Lame-Oh Absolute torture 1 stars
10/07/99 sophia962 Typical latter day SNL crap. An insult to introverted androgynes everywhere. 1 stars
10/02/99 Bozo Couldn't believe my eyes - turned it off after 20 minutes 1 stars
9/23/99 KK The most GODAWFUL movie in the HISTORY OF FILM!! MAGGOT-INFESTED SHIT at its best!!! 1 stars
9/03/99 Myra I LOVED Pat on SNL.. But the movie could've been A LOT better. 2 stars
5/24/99 Mrs. Moviegoer This was an awful, unfunny, waste of time. 1 stars
4/08/99 Dave Give it a try, you'll be surprised. Better than that "Waynes World" shit 5 stars
2/27/99 Viral Messiah I know great sequel for Fat Pat: Who gives a flying crap? 1 stars
12/10/98 Scion of Graveheart Ain't that supposed to be It's Flat Pat? God help me. Barf, barf, barf... 1 stars
12/05/98 Scion of Sailor Jupiter Idea For Sequel. It's Pat 2: Who Gives A Flying Fuck? 1 stars
9/20/98 {{{OZ}}} Dude. What the hell are you thinking, looking at this shit? 1 stars
9/19/98 J-Guy 3 stars for the appearance by Ween. I love them. Don't rent this unless you do too. 3 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  26-Aug-1994 (PG-13)
  DVD: 02-Sep-2003

UK
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