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Overall Rating
1.85

Awesome: 6.13%
Worth A Look: 11.04%
Average: 5.52%
Pretty Bad: 16.56%
Total Crap60.74%

7 reviews, 121 user ratings


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Catwoman
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by Todd LaPlace

"That darn cat!"
1 stars

Michelle Pfeiffer perfectly purrrrred her way through the underrated Batman Returns. Then, sadly, she disappeared into bad melodramatic movies about inner city kids and missing suburban ones. Halle Berry perfectly laughed at herself through the rightfully chastised Catwoman. I wont feel sad when disappears too, and hopefully shell drag Sharon Stone down with her.

Even though Catwoman is not nearly the action flick director Pitof wanted it to be, its also not nearly as bad as its rep claims. The film, very loosely based on the Batman villain of the same name, is a jumbled mess of mostly worthless pieces, but there surprisingly are portions that work. To quote other, more pun-happy critics, its not a complete cat-astrophe.

One of those better moments is Halle Berry, the woman who gracious accepted her undeserved raspberry award for worst actress of the year. Its one thing to be in a bad movie, but its quite another to clearly have fun while filming a bad one. Playing shy corporate artist Patience Phillips, Berry stumbles her way to greatness by clearly enjoying herself, which is a talent that even better actresses have yet to master. Working on an ad campaign for her cosmetic companys latest launch, Patience slips into a meeting she wasnt meant to hear. It seems the new line is causing severe deformity and the head honchos, tyrant tycoon George (Lambert Wilson) and his ex-model wife Laurel (Sharon Stone), want a cover up. When the intruder is discovered, they end up shooting her out of a drainpipe.

If that plot isnt rough enough (did it really take four writers to script something this bad?), cats start surrounding the corpse of Patience and through some mythical mumbo-jumbo, she is imbued with their powers and brought back to life (eight more to go). And apparently, the mystical powers of the cat include fancy hairstyling, game on the basketball court and the ability to go from bookworm to slut in a single bound. Through it all, though even as they force her to purr in mens ears Berry is having a great time. She dons her leather bra/torn pants combo costume like a champ, even though its clearly not designed for anything more than visual candy.

Instead of tasting sweet, though, the movie tries to far too hard to be legit. One of Berrys lines is honestly Meow, and Michelle Pfeiffer already did it better in Batman Returns. This movie should be one of those destined to be a camp classic, but Pitof actually spent around $100 million to make it look professional. While Berry is CGI-jumping around ledges (please, lets kill that awful technology), were honestly supposed to be taking it seriously. When Ophelia (a wasted Frances Conroy), a retired professor/professional cat lady, tells Patience that her new Catwoman status really represents the duality of woman, a nurturer and an aggressive beast, were supposed to take this as genuine revelation.

But worst of all is Stone, whos like a cross between Kathleen Turner and a mannequin, only without the talent of either. She approaches her villainous role as though she was playing Lady Macbeth instead of a has-been with grandiose dreams. Its unfortunate for Berry that Stones clomping and general lack of talent are constant scene stealers, as they serve no purpose other than to muddy Berrys good time. I only wish we could have had half the fun watching this drivel as she had making it; then maybe this movie wouldnt forever be the laughingstock of the entertainment industry.

I know theres a certain level of suspension of disbelief when it comes to comic book movies. Its unimaginable to believe Peter Parker could sew as brilliant a costume as he did in Spider-Man. Its difficult to believe Bruce Wayne is so brilliant a scientist/mechanic/engineer to build all of his little Batman toys. Hell, Superman shouldnt even be able to fly. But above all else, I have a hard time imagining the thought process that led Patience to think the best way to become a stealthy vigilante was to put on a leather bra. Some things just need to be practical.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=10221&reviewer=401
originally posted: 04/01/06 05:00:49
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User Comments

10/09/17 ksandr289@yandex.ru Бесплатная доска объявлений Webdoska — это сайт, где 2 stars
5/09/17 sergtovar Интернет-магазин SergTovar по продажам автонаполняющ 2 stars
12/22/16 Ifvremya Cамые свежие новости о главных событиях власти,по 2 stars
5/16/16 domnazavist Самые лучшие курсы обмена денег 2 stars
3/19/16 Ifvremya Cамые свежие новости о главных событиях власти,по 2 stars
3/18/16 domnazavist Самые лучшие курсы обмена денег 2 stars
1/22/16 plvuyjrkg USA 4 stars
1/08/16 David Hollingsworth these claws are pretty dull 1 stars
8/23/15 Lbvfittf WfDEVy Medical marca vs security mg and card generic net contra cialis help contro master., 5 stars
7/24/15 kjvewghldea USA 4 stars
7/19/15 cialis toulouse USA 2 stars
11/15/14 Morris What's the last date I can post this to to arrive in time for Christmas? <a href=" h 2 stars
11/10/14 Connie Could you transfer $1000 from my current account to my deposit account? <a href=" htt 5 stars
10/24/14 Juan Could you transfer $1000 from my current account to my deposit account? <a href=" ">admini 4 stars
9/15/14 wes Attributing negative reviews of this film to racism might be the worst thing I've ever seen 1 stars
3/23/14 Robert I liked it. Not a great movie, but worth watching. 4 stars
1/18/14 Roger Tompkins Not a film wanna-be aficionado, just a guy who loves a film that keeps my attention. 5 stars
11/22/13 John Men rate it poorly because the "good guy" doesn't get the cat in the end. 4 stars
6/02/13 Magenta Fantasies It's not a faithful adaptation, but it's a very enjoyable movie in its own right. 4 stars
5/28/13 RIc F**K EVERYONE, I LOVE THE MOVIE!! 5 stars
9/22/12 Quigley Truly one of the worst films ever made. It's a great education on how NOT to make a movie. 1 stars
11/25/11 Kitty Boo Loved it! 5 stars
7/29/11 ROBERTO D OCHOA i LOVED IT. 4 stars
2/20/11 Ark Giant turd, the finale fight scene with her and Stone wasn't too bad! And wtf with the cat? 2 stars
2/04/11 man horrible 1 stars
4/09/10 PAUL SHORTT LAUGHABLE ACTION THRILLER 1 stars
3/16/10 P.N. Guin It's great! 5 stars
1/10/10 Charlotte O I really liked this movie. What's up with all the bad reviews?? 4 stars
11/25/09 chake comment2 <a href="katalogue.ru"> </a> 3 stars
8/21/09 cousen01 www xxbb com 5 stars
8/19/09 daria sgJ97l Gra7noI59Unral92Bb7wf 3 stars
7/21/09 boris comment3, 3 stars
6/05/09 art KITTY LITTER!,that's what this film is!,PURE KITTY LITTER! 1 stars
5/28/09 Devin THE ONLY REASON ANYONE HATES THIS MOVIE IS BECAUSE IT DIDN'T EXACTLY FOLLOW THE COMIC! 5 stars
5/11/09 chris leasmith IS THIS REVIEW A JOKE!!! ITS BAD, REALLY BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
4/05/09 Alfonso Turnage I must admit I liked Elektra better than I eventually liked Catwoman, but I loved this . . 4 stars
8/21/08 Shaun Wallner This one was kinda boring. 1 stars
8/15/08 AnonAnonAnon Wow... good job turning this into a racial issue with the last sentence. 1 stars
7/27/08 JoJo i loved and i ve watched it 90 times!!!!!! 5 stars
6/21/08 David V I should've watched my neighbor's vacation videos instead. 1 stars
6/09/07 Danielle Ophelia "Halle Berry is not much more than eye candy with delusions of grandeur." Thank you, Scott 1 stars
4/23/07 David Risser The villainess looked so fake. 2 stars
3/20/07 dude terrible 1 stars
2/19/07 Dark Enchantress I hated this girl as catwoman! If i could give it a "zero" star, i would! Horrible plot! 1 stars
12/22/06 David Pollastrini HORRIBLE, ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE 2 stars
10/02/06 William Goss Doesn't the Geneva Convention prevent people from enduring things like this? 1 stars
4/06/06 Troy M. Grzych A comic book film that does not stay true to it's roots...will not have fans. 2 stars
4/01/06 Thomas Semesky The movies is silly, a total waste of talent. 1 stars
3/28/06 Brian Meyer Like Nostradamus, I fortold doom. And DAMN was I right!!! Halley Berry won an oscar? 1 stars
11/26/05 cr halle berry play sexy and cool catwoman but the story was boring and lame and cgi overdone 3 stars
11/21/05 Steve Michaud And who said this was a comic book movie? 1 stars
11/07/05 LP Quagmire The most underrated comic book movie ever. Halle, you go, girl! 5 stars
11/01/05 millersxing written by circus cats trained by Siegfried & Roy (explains the whip/leather fixation, no?) 1 stars
10/14/05 Georgie Best Being stapled to the floor whilst being eaten by your cat is more fun. 1 stars
9/21/05 Jonathon Holmes what a laughable piece of shit 1 stars
8/01/05 R ....................pffff, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! 1 stars
7/23/05 Duffyboy666 A step-by-step guide how to NEVER produce a comic flick. Shite. 1 stars
7/19/05 Brandy Harrington NOT 1 PERSON HAS RATED IT AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
6/20/05 Manu Ginobli just look at some catwoman porn instead. (it exsists, check it out) 1 stars
6/14/05 i am god i would rather take a shit 1 stars
5/20/05 susan varney even halle said it sucked 1 stars
3/29/05 Vince Only good thing in this pile of shite is Hale in leather. 1 stars
3/26/05 Denise ok 3 stars
3/22/05 craig varney if not for halle berry totally unbearable 1 stars
2/24/05 ELI So god awfully stupid it's funny. If I saw it in theaters, I would've laughed more 1 stars
2/17/05 Cody a average movie with cool character, halle is pretty, but not best catwoman 3 stars
2/07/05 Kenneth Helmick Hey, Steel was awesome! 1 stars
2/05/05 Amy Bradshaw Not as bad as people make it sound, it was entertaining enough, but just that. 3 stars
2/02/05 Lynde Foy total embarrassment to filmmaking--Berry should be ashamed of herself 1 stars
2/01/05 Danita Berg Wow....I've had more fun washing my cat. 1 stars
2/01/05 Robert Pfeifer the worst movie I've seen since... Batman And Robin!! Why did they even bother? 1 stars
1/30/05 bongeezer Halle Berry with a whip... And I was still bored! That's a bad movie. 2 stars
1/30/05 Caroline I saw this movie 2x (inafluke), and I was so bored the 2nd time, I threw twizzlers. :) 2 stars
1/30/05 Fred Pellerito Should have save their money and made it a cartoon instead 1 stars
1/30/05 dana hammell I enjoyed this movie 4 stars
1/29/05 terri shaw Oh wekk what do I know I liked it and could watch it with my kids ! No nightmares here. 4 stars
1/25/05 tatum If only the director had managed to stage a coherent shot 1 stars
1/19/05 ALDO crap story..and way 2 much pop music 2 stars
1/19/05 American Slasher Goddess Painfully awful 1 stars
12/26/04 Louie What were they thinking when they made this mess? 1 stars
12/13/04 Vince The beginning was not that bad... then it went downhill, fast 2 stars
10/30/04 Scott Roen I enjoyed this, but mostly because I didn't build my expectations up 3 stars
10/15/04 blue ANOREXIC HALLE BERRY IN A STUPID LEATHER SUIT! BIG SHIT!!! 1 stars
10/15/04 Regina George didn\'t really survive the school bus accident Unlike the Michelle Pfeiffer version, at least it tells a coherent story. 3 stars
9/13/04 the bride excuse me while I go and slit my wrists for being STUPID enough to see this. This is fucked 1 stars
9/05/04 johnnyxxx oh my, I thot it was a TV commercial 1 stars
8/27/04 Mike Stanbridge The DVD will probably come in the Batman Begins action figure releases just to get rid of t 1 stars
8/25/04 K Man plop 1 stars
8/16/04 McGraw Cat Scratch Fever that feels like AIDS. 1 stars
8/13/04 lawhog44 Ultimate blackmail: "My way, or the Garfield/Catwoman double feature." Kill. Me. Now. 1 stars
8/12/04 Ganglia damn... just... damn. download it and laugh your ass off 1 stars
8/11/04 f up Halley Berry is overrated, and is full of herself, has a big camel-toe in this movie.sucks 1 stars
8/11/04 Who Cares? There's a special hell for freaks who liked this movie!! 1 stars
8/10/04 QT The Bruce Lee suit as in Kill Bill...why? 1 stars
8/10/04 McGraw HAH! AHAHAH!!! HAAAAAAAHAHA...seriously, folks. It sucks. 1 stars
8/03/04 Uncle Salty I'd rather pound my balls flat with a splinterred wooden mallet than see it again. 1 stars
8/03/04 Matt Thiel Lame 2 stars
8/02/04 Ann Total Crap. I have never left a movie before it is over, but this one did it to me. 1 stars
7/31/04 arctic What was the point besides getting to war the tight outfit? 2 stars
7/29/04 Nikolai A non pretentious popcorn flick ok soundtrack effects tasty eyecandy bring a chick 4 stars
7/29/04 NiraliKumar Close to the comic book, better read it instead of watching it. Nice effects tho. 2 stars
7/28/04 Mike Devans weak 2 stars
7/28/04 WES NILES I LOVED IT! ...I laughed a little, and I cried a little. what more can one ask? 1 stars
7/27/04 Brad What a waste of my time 1 stars
7/27/04 J.D. Semlow Yeah, what they said! 1 stars
7/27/04 paks Not fit to be used as kitty litter 1 stars
7/27/04 robert berkoff another gigli 1 stars
7/26/04 this bitch won an oscar? Ive heard they already started to film part 2! 1 stars
7/26/04 Spay this cat! This morning my cat coughed up a disgusting furball more entertaining than this SHIT movie. 1 stars
7/26/04 Katie this movie is terrible 1 stars
7/25/04 Realitik Ashley Judd was smart to turn down this absolutely terrible role... not even worth renting! 1 stars
7/25/04 Drew-P Halle is hot, but not hot enough to sit through that. 2 stars
7/25/04 AK47 "Oops, my bad". Fuck you Halle and everybody involved in this POS. 1 stars
7/25/04 Conor Great awful 1 stars
7/24/04 Atanu Halle berry was never an actress. That she got an oscar is a travesty. 1 stars
7/24/04 tank1229 save your money 1 stars
7/24/04 Christina neuter this pussy 1 stars
7/24/04 Brian is DC doomed to an eternity of crappy hero movies? 1 stars
7/23/04 Mix Master Mason Turd City! Millions of dollars down the tube, should have been direct to DVD. 1 stars
7/23/04 Anthonyk Check this one for Fleas - DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY! 1 stars
7/23/04 Scytherius Warner Bros burns $100 million on the corner. Horrid. 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  23-Jul-2004 (PG-13)
  DVD: 18-Jan-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  16-Sep-2004




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