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Overall Rating

Awesome: 15.53%
Worth A Look: 15.53%
Average: 9.71%
Pretty Bad: 25.24%
Total Crap33.98%

6 reviews, 67 user ratings

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Resident Evil: Apocalypse
[] Buy posters from this movie
by EricDSnider

"It's just as bad as the first one! You'll love it!"
2 stars

You know how sometimes you're in an abandoned church, fighting off huge, red, skinless man-beasts that can crawl on walls, and you're out of ammo, and just at the last second a hot chick on a motorcycle crashes through a stained-glass window and saves the day? The people who made "Resident Evil: Apocalypse" have been there, too, so they can totally empathize.

For reasons I cannot fathom, this sequel to the 2002 hit has been highly anticipated, and I suppose those who have looked forward to it will not be disappointed. It is approximately just as loud, gross and stupid as its predecessor was, and you get to see Milla Jovovich's boobs. End of review.

Post-script: Paul W.S. Anderson, who mis-wrote and mis-directed the first film, only mis-wrote this one. He was unavailable to mis-direct, because he was busy mis-directing "Alien Vs. Predator." Stepping in to mis-direct "Apocalypse" is Alexander Witt, making his mis-directing debut after working on dozens of films as a second-unit mis-director.

"Apocalypse" is basically just another zombie movie, where if a zombie bites you, you become one, and so forth. It might seem more thrilling if there hadn't just been "28 Days Later" and "Dawn of the Dead," both of which were much scarier, funnier and creative than this is.

Milla Jovovich returns as Alice, one of only two survivors of the lab accident that occupied the first film. In the sequel, the so-called T-Virus has escaped the lab and infected Raccoon City, leading Alice and various others to band together, fight the zombies and other such beasts, try to get out of the city, yada yada yada.

It plays like a video game, with appropriate increases in difficulty as Alice and company get closer and closer to their goal. You may rest assured that one of the members of Alice's group is a wise-cracking black guy (Mike Epps), on hand to say sassy things -- you know, just like every single other horror film ever made. They're not even trying here.

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originally posted: 09/12/04 04:31:04
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User Comments

1/22/12 Velociraptor Great Movie 5 stars
5/15/11 stephen nettles A step back from the first 2 stars
10/16/07 beau ps2 games of this are way better!!!!!!! but i like milla jovovich in this!!! 2 stars
9/24/07 Nicholas Maday I love Milla, but this was pretty bad. Better than Ultraviolet, but still pretty bad. 2 stars
1/07/07 Stephen Besides the monsters it strays too far away from the game, and thats why i think it sucks 2 stars
6/16/06 Michele ok 3 stars
6/05/06 mary great 5 stars
5/01/06 Jack A terrific sequel 5 stars
3/02/06 Steven Lewis total crap compared to the first film. 1 stars
12/06/05 Steve Newman What a load of Tosh 2 stars
10/25/05 chris fox (the god) good 4 stars
10/23/05 Raul Valdez A good sequal. 5 stars
10/19/05 Eden And i thought the first one was bad 1 stars
10/11/05 Wisamane Wow the plot suckkss! HAHAHAH what a stupid movie, The ZOMBIE WAS HER BOY FRIEND HAHAHAH!!! 1 stars
10/11/05 Indrid Cold I didn't turn it off. Yes, that's the best compliment I can give to it. 2 stars
9/08/05 Tom Burns I love this movie. A superb sequel. 5 stars
9/04/05 Eden Why was this made? 1 stars
8/26/05 Termite Slighty better than the original, but that's not saying much, now, is it? 3 stars
8/22/05 Sofa King A video game zombie movie for the learning disabled! w00t! IT SUCKED! 1 stars
8/19/05 ES So many impossible stunts (ie church window jump on motor cycle) and bad acting make crap 1 stars
7/25/05 Jake Fun to watch, wouldn't ever care to see again 3 stars
7/18/05 Brandy Harrington Rancid shit! Why do you people like this trash? 1 stars
6/26/05 DennyRoss All I hear are generalizations and beefs about the director. I loved this flick!!! 5 stars
6/11/05 Manu Ginobli Garbage. 1 stars
6/10/05 Indrid Cold Barely watchable 90 minute-long music video. 2 stars
5/01/05 Jim Hot chicks in miniskirts kick zombie ass 4 stars
4/11/05 Morten I liked it. And to all the people posting anon, grow a spine :p 4 stars
4/03/05 fhf one of the shittiest movies, ever. 1 stars
3/12/05 ELI driest zombie ever made. WHERE'S MY BLOOD??? acting was funny too 2 stars
2/23/05 lol This movie was absolute shit, a disgrace to the games. 1 stars
2/15/05 Rock-steady goddamn she has huge nipples(i'd still fuck her) 3 stars
2/12/05 J Cool sort of, but a horrible adaptation to the game RE3 3 stars
2/12/05 Bobby da Squid An unoriginal yawnfest 2 stars
2/02/05 tatum Cheaper than the original, and really clicheed 1 stars
1/05/05 Joe England Say what you will, at least the first one wasn't riddled with COUNTLESS plot holes. 2 stars
12/26/04 Phil Brosgol A clunky, boring, steaming pile of excrement, seasoned with paper-thin characters. 1 stars
12/16/04 Etheridge Hoogendijk This gets bad ratings; SHAUN OF THE DEAD mostly awesome. But I could hardly tell them apart 3 stars
11/17/04 Gooey 2wice the shit 1 stars
11/05/04 Duncan if i was angry as tyson and stupid as homer,i would love it 1 stars
11/02/04 Deviant better than the first, inspired me to buy 3 of the games the next day 4 stars
10/21/04 Naka Nope! 1 stars
10/18/04 Samuel It was decent, nothing special. 3 stars
10/14/04 Pial PEOPLE FOR GODSAKES it's a video game to movie franchise what do you expect a oscar winner? 5 stars
10/09/04 Geo I Hate you P. W Anderson! 3 stars
10/02/04 Neo First one definitely better, this is a total failure 1 stars
10/01/04 Deuce Richter F u all in the pants! Its a decent movie 4 stars
9/27/04 Dreamless It's like THE GAME,you can't make a "braveheart" out of everything. 4 stars
9/27/04 Laurian Awesome Nemesis, great turn of events! First half was ok, second half of the movie ruled! 5 stars
9/25/04 joe lopez the best movie i have ever seen 5 stars
9/21/04 American Slasher Goddess Slightly better then the first one, but that's not saying awhole lot. 2 stars
9/20/04 Derek Horrible. The Nemesis's mutations arent shown and he doesnt kill anyone with his tentacles. 1 stars
9/17/04 Kyle Wellcome First ones better, but this one isnt that bad. 4 stars
9/16/04 Kris couldnt even throw me a twat shot 1 stars
9/15/04 CP0 Not bad, much better than Original. Good action and pretty much wraps up Summer. 3 stars
9/14/04 nick2k least it was better than the 1st one. 2 stars
9/13/04 Matt Holland Mediocre. Period 2 stars
9/13/04 mr mason retarded but sooooooo awesome at the same time. Boneheadedness maximus! 4 stars
9/12/04 Vicious Ws anderson is most at fault for this, he must be destroyed to prevent further atrocities. 1 stars
9/12/04 y2mckay haha! Eric is a funny guy. But it's still worth a look for Milla's shot-glass sized nipples 4 stars
9/12/04 Gruff Well paced, no glaring holes, very athletic 4 stars
9/12/04 Ajax What a terrible, terrible movie. But Milla Jovovich is SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL! 2 stars
9/12/04 Galadie trash, just like the first. 1 stars
9/11/04 Tyrantis Dude, WTF is up with the Nemisis/Alice kiss scene? As if I didn't hate Alice enough! 1 stars
9/11/04 KingNeutron The action sequences were too blurry to follow; but Milla was good. 3 stars
9/09/04 Ray AWFUL 1 stars
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  10-Sep-2004 (R)
  DVD: 17-Jan-2006



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