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Overall Rating
1.42

Awesome: 7.69%
Worth A Look: 3.85%
Average: 0%
Pretty Bad: 0%
Total Crap88.46%

3 reviews, 8 user ratings


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9 Songs
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by EricDSnider

"Or: '9 Shlongs'"
1 stars

SCREENED AT THE 2005 SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL: "9 Songs" is the story of two boring people who go to a lot of rock concerts and who, when they are not at rock concerts, have a lot of sex. The sex becomes kinkier as they progress; he is in love but she isn't; when they aren't in bed or at a concert, they have dull, ordinary conversations and snort cocaine.

No, silly, it's not the George and Laura Bush story. (You goose, you!) It is British director Michael Winterbottom's latest semi-improvised exercise in cinema-verite tedium. I was smitten with his "Wonderland" (another Sundance entry), finding its slowness appropriate for drawing out the characters' personalities. His "24 Hour Party People" was a fine, witty piece of work indeed. But his other recent efforts -- "The Claim," "Code 46" -- have been tiresome and chilly.

Now he has gone a step further. He has blended mundane, emotionally distant dialogue with straight-up pornography. The question that remains is WHY he has done this. If your characters have no depth and nothing to say, then why bother showing them doing anything OTHER than having sex? Why force their banal conversations upon us? For that matter, if you're a serious filmmaker, why make a porno? Shoot it with stark natural lighting and fill it with hip indie rock songs, it's still just a sex flick.

The characters are named Matt and Lisa, and they are played by Kieran O'Brien and Margo Stilley. Their affair is in the past; Matt is now flying over the Antarctic (he is a glaciologist, if there is such a profession), recalling his tryst with Lisa. They met at a concert and subsequently attended shows by artists such as the Dandy Warhols, the Von Bondies, and Franz Ferdinand (entire songs by each of these groups are shown, rockumentary-style). Oh, and they had sex.

I cannot overstate this: The movie has no plot. Nothing interesting occurs in it at any point, except possibly in the case of some of the rock performances. Matt and Lisa's interaction outside of bed is common and unintriguing, and their interaction in bed is as wildly explicit and emotionally detached as any of the "adults-only" tapes you find in the back room of the video store. The film's only conceivable purpose is to titillate, and it only barely does that.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=11285&reviewer=247
originally posted: 02/08/05 17:33:42
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OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2005 Sundance Film Festival. For more in the 2005 Sundance Film Festival series, click here.
OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2005 Tribeca Film Festival For more in the 2005 Tribeca Film Festival series, click here.
OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2005 Seattle Film Festival For more in the 2005 Seattle Film Festival series, click here.
OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2005 CineVegas Film Festival For more in the 2005 CineVegas Film Festival series, click here.
OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2005 Atlanta Film Festival For more in the 2005 Atlanta Film Festival series, click here.

User Comments

3/02/10 JL Sensationalist crap 1 stars
9/15/08 Arcane The chick was hot...and the sex was ok. Period. 1 stars
6/03/07 BoyInTheDesignerBubble Cool, a mainstream porn flick. Liked it for the sex, not the artsy fake mumbo-jumbo hype!! 4 stars
5/27/07 Pascal specially the songs are amazingly awesome! 5 stars
3/01/07 Edwin Menguin What a load of shite 1 stars
12/30/05 tatum ...or you could just rent porn; really boring 1 stars
10/25/05 chris fox (the god) great sex scenes 5 stars
1/24/05 Polak Terrible stuff. Walked out with half an hour left. 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  22-Jul-2005 (NR)
  DVD: 22-Nov-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  12-May-2005




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