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Overall Rating

Awesome: 2.3%
Worth A Look: 14.94%
Pretty Bad: 14.94%
Total Crap: 13.79%

8 reviews, 39 user ratings

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Assault on Precinct 13 (2005)
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by the Grinch

"Like a big budget episode of that show 'The Badge'."
3 stars

I can think of about 3 things that make this film worthy of being made: 1) John "the Cryptkeeper" Carpenter needs, nay, DESERVES the money...all that formaldehyde ain't cheap! 2) It could rekindle interest in the wonderful original film, and 3) Richet is a decent director.

The original Assault on Precinct 13 was a tour-de-force that respected tension and negative space as much as it did films like 'Rio Bravo' and 'Night of the Living Dead'. The new Assault eschews this moodiness and minimalism in favor of rapid-editing, gore, and more head-shots than a Peter North movie.

The blandness of the movie isn't so much the fault of the actors or director as it is the fault of James Demonaco's rewrite of Carpenter's script. Gone are the Hawksian one-liners of the first film, only to be replaced with lame cliches like "whaddaya want, a medal?". This line was used on at least two occasions by two different characters. The plot is riddled with more holes than Courtney Love's arms. (Possible Spoiler) The script also makes a big mistake in moving the climax outside of the precinct. This almost totally derails the momentum.

There are some great moments in the film....the memorable scene of papers flying and glass tinkling as silenced bullets fly is gone from the new film, but in its place is a similar device almost as menacing.

I'm suprised a Frenchman directed a movie so loud and obnoxious, revelling in its other words, such an AMERICAN movie. This could be the studio's influence, however. Word has it that Richet was pushing for Carpenter's brooding, minimal synthesizer score from the original to be used in the remake. I guess the studio won, because what we ended up with was a generic Graeme Revelle score that sounds like reject music from CSI, and a lame KRS-ONE track in which he mentions his name more than KMFDM. THE LEAST they could've done is rolled the credits on a hiphop track that sampled heavily from the raw, sludgy analog synthesizers of the Carpenter soundtrack.

Not that you guys give a shit, but I do have to comment on the excellent Foley work done on this film. There's some good use of surround sound in 'Assault', I only wish the script had been better so these foley artists could've REALLY had an opportunity to ply their wares.

You could certainly do worse in the film-famine days of Winter. Illogical and brash to the max, the Assault remake is still enjoyable action fare.

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originally posted: 01/23/05 07:01:35
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User Comments

9/13/17 morris campbell good remake 4 stars
12/29/13 Monday Morning Lots of totally needless violence. Loved it! 4 stars
11/16/11 Golden J. Williams Jr. Good action, original was way better! 3 stars
7/08/09 *Holy_J@lapeno* This movie makes you want more and more and more. Awesome plot and awesome action scenes 4 stars
8/29/08 Shaun Wallner Interesting storyline. 4 stars
11/29/07 mb That was OK> 4 stars
10/21/07 fools♫gold very muchly watchable 3 stars
1/27/07 William Goss Surprisingly solid actioner and decent remake, even when logic slips up. 4 stars
11/05/06 Phil M. Aficionado Good cast but very formulaic; if violence is your thing.... 3 stars
10/01/06 Charles Tatum By the numbers action flick, I've seen worse 4 stars
3/09/06 Piz Lot's of action and decent twists. Unspecatular but watchable. 3 stars
2/03/06 Stefan Halka As far as remakes go, it was decent. Nothing special. 3 stars
1/18/06 MrsVoorheesBabyBoy Even worse than the original 2 stars
7/21/05 TheViper Only if there is nothing to do should you watch this borefest. 1 stars
7/19/05 Indrid Cold Well done but completely unremarkable in every way. 3 stars
7/07/05 J This remake assault is succesfull. 5 stars
6/18/05 aldo Enjoyable film...not much story ..but good action 4 stars
6/12/05 Brian Mitchell A combination of the idiot plot with gratuitous violence and needless profanity. 1 stars
6/08/05 John everything a remake should not be - painting by the numbers - awful 1 stars
6/04/05 ELI Christ, it wasn't THAT BAD. enjoyable? Yup! Genius? Fuck no! 4 stars
6/01/05 Monday Morning The psychiatrist needed bigger tits. Not bad entertainment, though. 4 stars
5/15/05 y2mckay Fishburne looks bored, Leguizamo annoys, Drea and Maria look hot, director LOVES head shots 3 stars
5/04/05 What a waste Hideous. A 5 star film "remade" into a turd. 1 stars
4/05/05 Eugene Mortensen go see the original not this one 2 stars
3/26/05 Denise ok 3 stars
3/22/05 The Sorrow More like "Assualt on a cult-classic"... Yet again Hollywood has fucked up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 stars
1/30/05 bongeezer Not bad enough to be campy.. It's just bad 1 stars
1/30/05 Casey Tells okay 3 stars
1/30/05 Fred Pellerito Rent the original instead 2 stars
1/28/05 MorallySound I hate remakes, but this one has some balls. A completely different take on an old story. 5 stars
1/27/05 nick2k i havent seen the original, but i thought this was pretty decent. hardcore violence. =) 3 stars
1/27/05 KingNeutron gritty and somewhat realistic. 3 stars
1/26/05 Steve Michaud No match for the original, of course, but still entertaining in its own right 4 stars
1/24/05 ajay boring. the dialog was written for a 2-year-old. I was close to walking out. 2 stars
1/24/05 impartial judgement blows 1 stars
1/20/05 BlindPenguinChef Another unnessecary remake of a classic're better off gouging your eyes out 2 stars
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  19-Jan-2005 (R)
  DVD: 10-May-2005



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