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Overall Rating
1.39

Awesome: 1.45%
Worth A Look: 1.45%
Average: 10.14%
Pretty Bad: 8.7%
Total Crap78.26%

5 reviews, 39 user ratings


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Are We There Yet?
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Lybarger

"Destination: Boredom"
1 stars

"Are We There Yet?" is yet another movie aimed at kids that makes the common mistake of assuming that all children are idiots. Devoid of imagination and sincerity, the movie never passes up an opportunity to insult viewers of all ages.

Name an annoying cliché, and it's here. It's almost as if screenwriters Steven Gary Banks, Claudia Grazioso, J. David Stem David N. Weiss and director Brian Levant (the "genius" behind both Flintstones movies) rigorously followed a checklist to ensure they didn't miss anything:
"Crotch kick?" "Check."
"Exploding vehicle?" "Check."
"Urine joke?" "Check."
"Vomit joke?" "Check."

In the meantime, story, character and viewers suffer.

Unlike some rappers who try to rock the camera the way they do a microphone, "Are We There Yet?" star Ice Cube can be pretty good actor. His best moments come in flicks like "Three Kings" or "Barbershop" when he's playing an average Joe.

As a producer, however, Ice Cube is often his own worst enemy. It gets old watching him try to play up his gangsta rep, even in a film that could have offered him a chance to poke fun at it.

In this outing, he plays Nick Persons, a former baseball player who now runs a successful sports collectable shop in Oregon. Despite being a bit of an overgrown child, Nick hates tots with a passion.

Of course, Nick soon discovers that he can't avoid youngsters for long. He falls for a pretty divorcee named Suzanne (Nia Long), who has two brats named Lindsey (Aleisha Allen) and Kevin (Philip Bolden). The two intently wait for their father to return to the marriage and attack "Home Alone"-style any potential suitor for their mom.

When a business trip calls Suzanne away from home, Nick abruptly has to take the youngsters to meet her in Vancouver (Yes, it's a nice town, but one begins to feel the destination has more to do with saving shooting expenses).

You can pretty much guess what will go wrong from here, and getting to the inevitable isn't much fun because the kids are so obnoxious and the actors who play them are so wooden. When Levant and the screenwriters attempt to humanize the characters, it feels false because no one on camera has the chops to make it convincing.

To add to the irritation factor, Nick gets advice from his Satchel Paige bobble-head (voice by John Witherspoon). The depiction of the baseball great is so demeaning that his heirs should consider suing. Innocent audiences are also subjected to a soulless rendition of Otis Redding's respect (where's Aretha Franklin when we need her?) and an animatronic dear that's as unconvincing as the child actors.

With better kids movies like "The Incredibles" still in theaters, "Are We There Yet?" is an excellent excuse to stay at home.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=11466&reviewer=382
originally posted: 01/22/05 03:10:38
[printer] printer-friendly format  

User Comments

1/08/16 David Hollingsworth Is it over yet? 1 stars
7/25/08 Alice I liked it, a good family movie 3 stars
3/31/07 David Pollastrini Ice Cube needs to go back to the hood 3 stars
1/13/07 saad muhammud so fucking lame 1 stars
12/02/06 Chris Simpson Dire. Unpardonable drivel. I saw it on a plane. Thanks again, Kenya Airways. 1 stars
11/12/06 cody a pretty ok flim with more few laughs. 3 stars
8/29/06 hans svetnis no words can describe how stupid this film is 1 stars
7/23/06 Joe This film made me feel like getting a vasectomy so I can never have kids. 1 stars
7/12/06 ian afford am i dead yet? 1 stars
4/16/06 David Klein Absolutely awful. So poorly put together I can't believe I watched the whole thing. 1 stars
4/02/06 JRE it was cute and funny. I don't know why people hate it so much 3 stars
1/30/06 the laughing man I Don't Even Feel Like Talking About This Film. 1 stars
12/12/05 Bad Critic Ice Cube's a dumbass. Predictable and lame ending. Don't waste your time.l 2 stars
11/04/05 vincent are nice movie 2 stars
7/22/05 tony poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 1 stars
6/15/05 Quigley halfway through the movie, i was aying, "are we GONE yet?" 1 stars
6/08/05 Mike Waste 1 stars
5/25/05 Jake Stupid and Predictable 2 stars
5/15/05 Rebecca I really loved it! It was cool that Ice Cube played that role he was good 5 stars
5/06/05 Colleen Goldrick miss this trip 2 stars
4/18/05 Rhianna Correa Dorkey movie...made me laugh. 3 stars
4/15/05 shatonjia I hated it but my kids loved it. 3 stars
3/26/05 JC Pierce BOO 1 stars
3/25/05 malcontent First Diesel goes kiddie, now Ice Cube ? 2 stars
3/25/05 craig varney i thougt i'd never get there 1 stars
3/17/05 Colleen Goldrick Just Horrible 1 stars
2/26/05 Mia Griggs Should be called "Is It Over Yet?" 1 stars
2/26/05 Binny nice 4 stars
2/19/05 fo0b4r Hey.. I kinda liked it. 3 stars
2/12/05 Ig Extremely stupid movie 1 stars
2/08/05 whatevr is this movie over yet? 1 stars
2/05/05 X-naut ice cube needed to just stick with music after he made friday 1 stars
2/01/05 Lynda Eby Same old, same old............. 2 stars
1/30/05 bongeezer As Rodney would say "Now I know why tigers eat their young!" 1 stars
1/30/05 TyrantisTerror I saw an add on Tv that said this was the best film of the year. BS! 1 stars
1/27/05 malkik robinson true rating 1 stars
1/25/05 RexTrent Will someone make a movie about going back in time in an effort to coerce abortion?! 1 stars
1/24/05 Brian this and XXX2 in the same year? ice cube really has it in for movie goers. 1 stars
1/23/05 Jeff Anderson This film is pure sadistic tripe, enough said! WHY, ICE CUBE, WHY! You deserve much better 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  21-Jan-2005 (PG)
  DVD: 24-May-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  10-Mar-2005




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