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Overall Rating
2.54

Awesome: 11.92%
Worth A Look: 9.93%
Average: 29.8%
Pretty Bad: 16.56%
Total Crap31.79%

12 reviews, 79 user ratings


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Amityville Horror, The (2005)
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by Laura Kyle

"One of the best horror movies of the year! But that's not saying much."
3 stars

I haven’t seen the original Amityville Horror (1979) and I’m not sure what’s left over on screen from the true story backing it up -- in that film or the latest 2005 money-grab to come out of Hollywood. What I can say is a lot more than the F-bomb is dropped in this R-rated version and beginning director Andrew Douglas manages to make a decent thriller out of a pretty run-of-the-mill haunted house story.

Ryan Reynolds is George Lutz, stepfather to Billy (Jesse James, the evil kid from Butterfly Effect), Michael (a very over directed Jimmy Bennett), and Chelsea (Chloe Moretz). George’s wife Kathy, played by Melissa George -- when her Australian accent and buckteeth aren’t getting in her way -- insiths they buy the haunted houthe, becauth it’sth cheap and everything they’ve ever dreamed of… who cares if an entire family was murdered there years ago? “Houses don’t kill people, people kill people,” George reasons. But little does George know, this house has the ability to make people kill people. Or so it seems.

The youngest Lutz, Chelsea, is of course the first family member to come in contact with their new home’s ghostly inhabitants (see: The Sixth Sense, Hide and Seek, The Ring, The Ring 2, Darkness Falls)… she becomes friendly with Jodie (Isabel Conner), a little girl with a nice-sized bullet hole through her pasty forehead.

Mrs. Lutz shrugs it off as an imaginary friend. But Jodie starts to become a little more persistent in her interaction with Chelsea, and suddenly, George is no longer the jocular, cool step-dad he once was – he drinks from the tap now… and spells out a death threat to his family in refrigerator magnets.

So what does Mrs. Lutz do? Why, she lets Mr. Lutz move down to the basement and take over the parenting, putting an almost sadistic twist on it. No restraining order, no “get your bags packed kids, daddy’s crazy!” To her credit, she does casually ask the local priest to check the place out, but a swarm of flies he encounters while inside is too much for his cross.

So, Mrs. Lutz' supidity buys a little time for the deeper mystery of the creepy mansion with windows like eyes, to unfold, all the while George speedily descending into madness.

Amityville Horror is not scary, per say, unless overacting children in white makeup give you the creeps.

Douglas certainly knows how to pace his film though. And with Reynolds, an original actor who has yet to find a project that really showcases this, up to bat, Douglas has a believable main character to work with.

While Amityville Horror may have a little more balls than the PG-13 pseudo-horror flicks of late, it lacks the brains that are required to make it truly frightening and it’s unlikely to give you a single nightmare.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=11925&reviewer=369
originally posted: 04/25/05 07:48:28
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Horror Remakes: For more in the Horror Remakes series, click here.

User Comments

2/21/17 morris campbell it sux read the book instead 1 stars
9/04/15 David Hollingsworth The only thing that is watchable is Ryan Reynolds' abs. 1 stars
12/11/12 Jamie 'Art' fuck you, you cunt. This sucks. 1 stars
9/06/10 art this 2005 one ROCK"S!,and it take's one {A MORON} to know ONE! 4 stars
6/21/10 Sarah Webster Hey art, the original is a classic. This remake is shit.u make yourself look like a moron! 1 stars
3/14/10 art TO TELL YOU the TRUTH,i never saw the first one,i read the NOVEL,this one is the BEST! 4 stars
7/31/09 art MUCH BETTER THAN THE 1979 ORIGINAL! 4 stars
9/11/07 TreeTiger Not that bad, actually... 4 stars
4/19/07 Stevo UK The only thing scary about this film is that another might be on the way. 2 stars
11/19/06 khrystal very scary! i kept seeing that little girl hanging at the foot of my bed for weeks!!! 5 stars
11/14/06 Mark pass 2 stars
11/05/06 mp good visual effects , good acting, and steady supsense, that is all folks. 3 stars
9/23/06 David Pollastrini the house looks nothing like the real house 3 stars
8/22/06 Mr.X this movie blew big donkey dick!!!! 1 stars
8/09/06 Dragon The Artist An abomination to the original, just another over the top crappy, horror popcorn flick. 1 stars
6/16/06 Michele good remake clever additions 4 stars
3/19/06 CJ Intensity throughout it all 5 stars
3/16/06 Anthony Feor A pitiful remake 1 stars
2/17/06 Alice Nope 1 stars
2/03/06 tatum Starts well, gets progressively sillier as it goes 2 stars
12/17/05 JeromeBosch Beefcake and babe can’t save this diluted bouillon of a remake. 2 stars
12/14/05 me could have been better 3 stars
12/02/05 George just as bad as the original 1 stars
12/01/05 MrsVoorheesBabyBoy Better Than the Original 4 stars
11/24/05 cr a pump up remake and scary of course, but nothing to be jumping about 3 stars
11/24/05 cr a pump up remake and scary of course, but nothing to be jumping about 3 stars
11/23/05 Melissa Ryan Reynolds looked hot (and crazy) -- not bad but not scary enough either. 4 stars
11/22/05 Kurtis J. Beard Wow - beyond horrible. All time low for horror. 1 stars
11/20/05 Bestit People who are scared of this are scared of their own farts, as well. 1 stars
11/14/05 Indrid Cold Of course it looks great, but ultimately just a compilation of cliches. 2 stars
11/03/05 nikita m i thought it was a good movie it freaked the shit out of me and the guy is so hot its crta 5 stars
10/29/05 Horror buff I think it was actually a good remake, though not as scary as the orginal. 4 stars
10/25/05 chris fox (the god) a fair movie not very scary though 3 stars
10/20/05 PAG Mediocre. Better than original, but that is not saying much. 3 stars
10/17/05 tony scary and sometimes boring. Parts were slow,and dull. 2 stars
10/15/05 Adam The original was at least passable than this second rate crapfest 1 stars
10/12/05 ad ok 3 stars
10/10/05 ashley i liked it but i want to know more 4 stars
10/08/05 Monday Morning Points off for the dog getting killed, but OK otherwise. 4 stars
10/08/05 othree Great casting, suck storyline, suck version, suck efx 1 stars
10/05/05 j.b 2.5 1 stars
9/27/05 Amber I love this movie it wa the only movie that I've ever been to where people screamed 5 stars
9/09/05 John Surprise: A remake that's better than the original 4 stars
9/03/05 Jenny This is a scary movie Ryan Reynolds and Melissa George are great together 5 stars
8/07/05 Junior The most shocking thing about this motion picture is that it's all true! 5 stars
7/25/05 Eric Rollins Original was boring, predictable mess and this remake is only slightly better. 2 stars
7/07/05 YEAH U SEE ME?ITS ME!! hey its me again..ITS FUCKING FUNNY 5 stars
7/07/05 YEAH U SEE ME?ITS ME!! cool movie.very funny 5 stars
7/07/05 Jmz H scary movies ending always scary..sigh.. 5 stars
5/22/05 Charlene Javier I finally liked a Ryan Reynolds movie! 3 stars
5/19/05 wendy rogers The movie is ok...Not real scary but worth seeing. 4 stars
5/17/05 Shawn Borucki Forgettable movie. Somes scenes feel like they were mimicing Kingdom Hospital and Ju-On. 3 stars
5/10/05 Carol ok 3 stars
5/02/05 Valerie great movie, great plot, but the ending is really stupid. 4 stars
4/29/05 Mider when its a good movie and its a remake then that makes it a GREAT remake 5 stars
4/27/05 Aaron Pilkington Scary as hell!!! 5 stars
4/27/05 John very effective and at times really scary- well done 4 stars
4/26/05 Sheree Burns I thought this was the best "remake" film yet.... 5 stars
4/26/05 E-FUNK Collapses immediately and induces laughter when you should be shitting your pants. 2 stars
4/24/05 movie man It was a excelent movie 5 stars
4/21/05 Naka Gore an' shit. Whoo. Now, if only it was, you know, entertaining or at all scary... 1 stars
4/20/05 Krisan Graves Decent movie 3 stars
4/20/05 J MAN scary 5 stars
4/19/05 Maril Smith Excellent Instant Classic! The first film to really scare me and my friends since The Ring! 5 stars
4/19/05 Me A great film 5 stars
4/19/05 Mix Master Mason Should have gone direct to video. Has that annoying Marilyn Manson video look. Blah!!!!!!!! 2 stars
4/19/05 Michael Lee I thought it was, what it was... a good scary movie. 4 stars
4/19/05 Al Guy Lame. The Shining done poorly. 2 stars
4/19/05 Tom Rudderham A lazy and thoughtless remake. 1 stars
4/18/05 Renita Long not as good as the original 2 stars
4/18/05 Gray could have been better 3 stars
4/18/05 Ahnold Not as good as original, but not as bad as everyone writes 3 stars
4/18/05 Christy Weller It's an ok movie, Not one I would Highly reccomend 3 stars
4/17/05 Sharon Davis No worse than the other horror movies out there 2 stars
4/17/05 J MAN Nice surprise, good thrills. Scary how it's a true story.... 5 stars
4/17/05 rory i couldn't sleep after this one. Scarier then the original.... 5 stars
4/17/05 Junior LaROche Liked the original, don't like the current string of Holylwood remakes!!!! 2 stars
4/16/05 Naka Horror shit. 1 stars
4/15/05 shatonjia I hated it 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  15-Apr-2005 (R)
  DVD: 04-Oct-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  14-Apr-2005




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