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Overall Rating

Awesome: 18.46%
Worth A Look32.31%
Average: 24.62%
Pretty Bad: 12.31%
Total Crap: 12.31%

6 reviews, 29 user ratings

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Mystery, Alaska
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by Scott Weinberg

"I saw this one an hour ago, and I'm forgetting it as I type."
2 stars

Writer David E. Kelley once again inspires millions of struggling screenwriters by proving you can be a critical and financial powerhouse without really being that great of a writer. He must have one hell of a Word program, because he just cuts and pastes scenes whole from other cheeseball movies, rearranges them, and it's a script. If you're a fan of sports films, stick with one of your favorites instead of this pile of table scraps.

Everything in this movie comes across one of two ways: Extremely familiar or unbelievably forced and corny. What we have here is a large cast of somewhat familiar faces. (Hey, the wife from Private Parts. Hey, that dumb guy from ER. Hey, Burt Reynolds' Dad!) They are all citizens of the titular town and their lives all revolve around sex and hockey and the "Saturday Game." Now, if the music ever stopped swelling majestically long enough for us to realize how sad this is, you could watch this as a slapstick comedy and enjoy it. Every character has to get enough screen time to be considered a 'subplot'. It's a cheap gimmick that tries to fake what's generally called a 'real plot'. Many scenes seem like skits that just happen to have the same people in them.

Basically, these hockey nuts are scheduled to play against the New York Rangers as a publicity show for the NHL. That's your premise. Trying to cope with this are a horny guy, a gruff judge, a horny mayor's wife, O'Brien from Star Trek, a huge (but oh so sweet) defenseman, some fat girl with a shovel, the has-been sheriff, a horny daughter,and a few other horny stereotypes. Some of them practice, some of them have sex, and one gets a sphincter full of ice.

To dwell on other specifics would be to assume that you've never seen one frame of any other sports movie. Suffice to say that you've seen all the inspirational speeches, macho guy bonding, one guy clapping in a silent auditorium, young guy nervous he's gonna screw up, young moron unexpectedly shoots his load when his girl touches his zamboni, etc. The only thing keeping me awake was to see if somehow an original idea was shown anywhere. I'm still waiting.

Plagiarism at it's most obvious, and it's too bad because there really aren't too many good hockey movies around. If you like eating the same sandwich every day, this is the movie for you.

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originally posted: 10/03/99 16:49:19
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User Comments

5/01/09 DMac Just caught it on cable, very entertaining, I can't believe critics slammed it so hard! 4 stars
1/03/04 Zara I luv this movie! I think that the premise was great. I esp. luv'd Kevin "Tree" Durand. 4 stars
7/06/03 Jack Sommersby Appealingly acted, but the screenplay is woefully cliched and pandering-down-to. 2 stars
5/31/03 Karli Mason It was a great film i watched it 3 times in a row i liked it so much! 5 stars
2/26/02 Sheila Evans Almost worst part of my week, in which I also got stuck in an elevator while I had diarrhea 1 stars
2/26/02 Bertha Venation Some awkward moments aside, a very entertaining movie; Rusty on skates is great 5 stars
2/01/02 Andrew Carden Excellent Movie....Wonderful Performances. 5 stars
8/21/01 sylvie I though the movie was great mostly becaue of this graet actor (tree) Kevin Durand 5 stars
7/03/01 R. Perreault Excellent especially the big guy Tree/Kevin Durand 5 stars
6/23/01 Elvisfan Ditto Alan below, except the Girl Scouts could've beaten the lousy NY Rangers 5 stars
5/29/01 Alan Great hockey movie 5 stars
1/14/01 Invader This movie was quaint and likable, Crowe believable even as a yank. 4 stars
10/09/00 wrob Great Scott!'s review is right on 2 stars
6/12/00 Lisa I was prepared to dislike this movie; I'm not a sports fan. But I liked the humor and story 3 stars
6/08/00 Monday Morning Always wondered what The Mighty Ducks did when they grew up. 3 stars
5/12/00 The Bomb 69 not bad, tried to cover too many character problems but still good overall 4 stars
4/02/00 Loz I loved it. Ryan Northcott and Rachel Wilson deserve credit for their performance 5 stars
3/25/00 Karen crowe is an aussie hunk 4 stars
3/19/00 Joel Harwood It was very good better than mighty ducks 4 stars
11/20/99 Mark God sakes! (That's a quote, don't get offended) 5 stars
10/12/99 Bozo It wasn't that bad ...good cast, good small-town feel, great Russell 4 stars
10/11/99 Weird Andy Sucks less than its asinine premise would lead one to believe. 3 stars
10/11/99 Ben Ryan Great cast, semi good plot line, but just plain damn fun. Is it a movie or real game? 4 stars
10/05/99 PhilmPhreak I liked it. More character than hockey. 4 stars
10/05/99 McCloud Scruffy manly men, comedy, a little suspense: Well worth the moola! 5 stars
10/04/99 Oktober It's been a long time since a sports movie has come around where you wanted to cheer aloud! 5 stars
10/02/99 ladislau Too long! And Reynolds has nothing to do with this film! 3 stars
10/01/99 Nelle This film was damn good!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
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  01-Oct-1999 (R)



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