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Overall Rating
3.43

Awesome: 17.02%
Worth A Look43.62%
Average: 18.09%
Pretty Bad: 7.45%
Total Crap: 13.83%

5 reviews, 64 user ratings



Varsity Blues
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by Hawkboy

"There goes my hero."
4 stars

Maybe it's cliched, maybe you know the ending from the first shot onwards, but it doesn't make it any less entertaining.

This movie worked for me because of the "Kingpin" rule. I can't be sure if the good guys are going to win anymore. Hell, maybe they'll just share a moral victory! Learn a valuable lesson! Hey..you never know.

So, anyways, Dawson's a quarterback, but he rides the bench. This must not continue, so an emissary of the movie-going public goes and injures the starting quarterback. The starting quarterback knew his days were numbered. "Oh, shit. Dawson's my backup. I just hope I don't lose any body parts in order to get him in for a crucial play." Shut up, starter-boy. You're just lucky Dolph Lundgren didn't punch you to death, like he did to Apollo.

Dawson becomes head quarterback, and then slutty girls throw themselves at him. I'll say this; the movie made me want to play football. But he doesn't enjoy it, because Jon Voight is a Nazi. Dawson is somehow not content with being the town God, and longs for artistic freedom, which is represented by reading Kurt Vonnegut. I guess we can consider ourselves lucky that he didn't want to make another movie about how being a football player when your ex-girlfriend/soul mate (Oh, you KNOW they're getting back together) is dating that Jack guy, who's probably gay anyway. And Pacey? What's up with him?

There's the party guy, the fat guy, the evil coach, the father who is projecting his dreams onto his son, and the crucial final play. And I fell for all of it. I knew I had seen it all before, and I didn't care. At the final play, I was squeezing my date's hand just as hard as she was mine, and she doesn't even understand football. Good, solid, entertainment.

Some cliches are just worth keeping. The football movie, and the French Sex Comedy. Sacre Bleu, mes pantalons sont tombees!

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=1203&reviewer=27
originally posted: 02/14/99 16:15:50
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User Comments

5/15/16 Timothy Killoran Watch it as often as I can. Can't get enough of the whipped cream bikini! 5 stars
5/19/08 Jennifer Longo coolest 2 stars
8/23/05 tony well, i guess it is ok, but it didn't grab my attention like i thought it would 3 stars
6/21/04 Rock Hound I only watched it because I'm in prison (for no good reason, either) 4 stars
9/18/03 hig tweeder made the movie with the I'm going to jail scene 4 stars
6/15/03 Jack Sommersby Passable. Slightly better than expected. 3 stars
6/03/03 Sana This movie sucked ass! 1 stars
4/04/03 me great 5 stars
8/15/02 scott great 5 stars
6/08/02 I'm in (L) with a Jedi GIVE ME A S GIVE ME A H GIVE ME AN I GIVE ME A T WAT DOES DAT SPELL???SHIT!!! 1 stars
10/04/01 Phoenix A very entertaining teen football flick. I was never board. 4 stars
9/18/01 The Moorhen Watchable - if just for the whipped cream bikini and strip club scenes. 4 stars
8/09/01 E-Funk This movie sucks hot, scrotal sweat. 1 stars
6/29/01 Geebo I didn't think it'd be good, but it was 4 stars
4/09/01 Gary This is a good movie but I didn't really think Van Der Beek was that good. 4 stars
9/08/00 Matthew Bartley Van Der Beek just lie down while I reverse a steamroller over you and flatten your head out 1 stars
7/27/00 Elvisfan It was no big deal and i am sick of Voights scumbag routine 3 stars
7/14/00 Bender Could be a cult classic some day. Tts a lot of fun. 4 stars
6/26/00 D Leery An epic football/teen movie, underscored by Van Der Beek's bravura performance & phat music 5 stars
5/10/00 Steve Layne Entertaining teen football movie. One of the better teen movies of the 90's. 4 stars
4/24/00 Ryan all those GUYS.... yum. 3 stars
2/12/00 steve layne Another movie in which i place in the top 10 of the best teen movies of the 90's. 4 stars
2/11/00 Kyle Broflovski Oh, what shit. What SHIT. This movie is such shit. 1 stars
9/16/99 Ratso I love AC/DC. 5 stars
7/20/99 blue b. Raunchy movie with a stupid plot. A few laughs, but not enough... 2 stars
7/18/99 Tristynn not too bad...slow in parts.but quite entertaining. Paul Walker is very nice to look at.. 4 stars
7/11/99 Alexander This fucking movie is definetly high-quality! 5 stars
4/15/99 Jon Jackson It's alright, won't see it twice though. 3 stars
3/18/99 Bob BETH (5 lines down)- You Fucking Suck 3 stars
3/15/99 Erin Bince I think this movie was really funny. I couldn't stop laughing. It totally kicked ass!!! 5 stars
3/14/99 Ah Dooey You're right, Cyanide Rush. It's boombastic! 4 stars
3/14/99 Dharma The movie could have done without the whole strip club scene, but it was pretty good. 4 stars
3/10/99 CYaniDERuSH fuck all of you stupid jock nimrods. this movie tossed salad 1 stars
3/05/99 Beth If I could have gotten past the accents in the trailer I might have seen it. 1 stars
3/02/99 slimshady this movie was so over hyped that i went-big mistake. im just glad my date paid! 2 stars
2/28/99 Kortney This movie fucking rules baby!! Hot guys in tight pants. That's all I gotta say!! 5 stars
2/27/99 Kenda I know what your thinking, but this movie is GREAT! Give it a shot. 4 stars
2/22/99 Deadmonkey The all time worst goddamn movie EVER! 1 stars
2/20/99 Jeff Oh boy--teenage chicks and dudes gettin' some--now *there's* a movie--oh boy 1 stars
2/18/99 Piz can we say exaggerratted? but it was fun, Voight is the glue that holds it together. 3 stars
2/10/99 poolboy It proves that Van Der Beek is as anal as I thought 4 stars
2/09/99 Andrea Rookard Very good. I liked the way the movie had an inside view of High school football. 4 stars
2/07/99 roxy football sucks. 1 stars
2/01/99 16 in. of swingin' meat and a bucket balls A fun little trip into the world of cliche. Van Der Beek was good 4 stars
2/01/99 Tom Ripley Hate football, loved Varsity Blues. Go figure. 4 stars
1/30/99 Mr Showbiz insufferable, cliche-ridden high-school football saga that capitalises on it's leading man 1 stars
1/28/99 jennifer maynard it was great 4 stars
1/27/99 MilhousFan It had it's moments, but can't anyone think of a good ending for a sports movie? 3 stars
1/26/99 JJ What can I say, Hollywood continues to be baffled by the teen market. Figure it out guys. 2 stars
1/24/99 Dirty Ol' Bastard NEWS FLASH! Whip cream bikini saves script...and how! 4 stars
1/23/99 Bluntman Whip cream bikini can't save generic script 3 stars
1/22/99 Dirty Dave Capone A shitty flick with predictable everything. This crap doesn't happen in highschool. 2 stars
1/22/99 CYaniDERuSH you stupid fuckin jocks, go watch espn. 1 stars
1/22/99 bart chalfont good movie, bad ending 4 stars
1/20/99 Skanky ol' Geezer Beeker's da man...and those hotties are nice too 4 stars
1/20/99 Sarah Hogan Yeah, another movie about football. go figure. 3 stars
1/20/99 Johny As an MTV movie it's good, but there's no doubt it's trash 2 stars
1/20/99 Julia Smyth This movie kicks major ass! Everybody wants a friend like Tweeder to entertain them! 5 stars
1/20/99 Jim it's a movie for all teens to see and relate too 5 stars
1/20/99 loborojo@hotmail.com football and women! city of lawlessness! kewl shit here! 4 stars
1/19/99 Mark Lowry Might be the best movie I've ever seen, but is a bit depressing 4 stars
1/18/99 Mr Showbiz Already a prime candidate for worst movie of 1999 1 stars
1/17/99 tyler everett it was boring and average-- jon voigt was the only good actor- and he wasn't at his best 3 stars
1/17/99 amos the acting wasn't bad...but the story line was just so damn boring 2 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  15-Jan-1999 (R)

UK
  21-May-1999

Australia
  01-Apr-1999 (M)


Directed by
  Brian Robbins

Written by
  John Gatins
  W. Peter Iliff

Cast
  Thomas F. Duffy
  Ali Larter
  Amy Smart
  Ron Lester
  Paul Walker



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