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Overall Rating

Awesome: 21.88%
Worth A Look: 13.28%
Average: 14.84%
Pretty Bad41.41%
Total Crap: 8.59%

12 reviews, 56 user ratings

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Longest Yard, The (2005)
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by brianorndorf

"Not Reynolds, but very silly and Sandler"
4 stars

A remake of the Burt Reynolds classic, the new “Longest Yard” isn’t nearly the mannered football experience found in 1974. The new “Yard” is a silly slugfest, but an undeniably and ragingly entertaining endeavor, sure to please Adam Sandler fans everywhere.

After totaling his sugar-momma’s (Courtney Cox) car on purpose, disgraced former football player Paul “Wrecking” Crewe (Adam Sandler) is sent to a Texas prison, where an evil warden (James Cromwell) has brought him in to coach an inmate football team that will serve to warm up a prison guard team for the season. Faced with training a ragtag bunch of cons that couldn't care less, Crewe finds help in a friendly smuggler (Chris Rock) and an old-timer (Burt Reynolds) who would like nothing more than to see the warden lose face in public.

“The Longest Yard” was a 1974 feature that launched Burt Reynolds into the celebrity stratosphere, along with being one of the finest football films ever made. 30 years later, an unexpected actor has stepped into Reynolds’s iconic macho role: Adam Sandler. Faced with a huge cinematic challenge of emulating a classic film, Sandler and his Happy Madison production team have turned up the comedy and the ferocity of the tackles for this boisterous, snappy remake.

Reuniting with his “50 First Dates” and “Anger Management” director Peter Segal, Sandler finds success once again under the eye of one of Hollywood’s biggest hacks. Segal could never be mistaken for a thoughtful, nuanced filmmaker, and “Yard” solidifies this reputation with his display of some of the more aggressive mass-audience-pleasing direction seen in a film this year. “Yard” leaves nothing to the imagination; from the overblown sadism of the prison guards to broad pranks and revenge scenarios arranged by the cons, Segal and writer Sheldon Turner make sure every last audience member can get in on the fun. At times, this method of direction is maddening, especially since the 1974 film was such a dry, carefully measured piece of cinema. But it’s hard to disagree with the energy Segal is creating by pitching this remake so broadly.

Stuffed with an abundance of fist-pumping rock and hip-hop anthems for every scene, a cast that comes in all shapes, colors, and clarity of speaking, and leading the way with Sandler’s deliciously absurdist humor (one con has a McDonalds fetish, another cannot get enough of Joy Behar), the new “Yard” is a crowd pleaser, and not in a grotesque way. This formulaic film is created to get the blood pumping and the belly rolling, and it gets both jobs done splendidly. Even when it occasionally becomes too hammy for words, or the “evil” performances cross into cartoon (James Cromwell, I’m looking at you), the film remains an overwhelmingly infectious experience, best served with a crowd of 500 clapping audience members, and a sound system that could wake the dead.

In what could’ve been an embarrassing turn, the original Paul Crewe, Burt Reynolds, steps back on the field to oversee this remake. His presence is soothing, with Segal giving the veteran actor plenty to do in the final reel. Sandler makes a terrific replacement for the role, finding himself in incredible shape, and oddly allowing himself to pass punchlines over to his fellow teammates. He’s assembled a great cast of ex-football players (Brian Bosworth and a scene-stealing Terry Crews, “White Chicks”), comedians (a reliable Chris Rock and a skirt-wearing Tracey Morgan), and pro wrestlers (Bill Goldberg, Steve Austin, and Kevin Nash provide some muscles) to make up the two teams, and their skills at the game are showcased marvelously. Of course, those brutal hits are sweetened with tackling sound effects that resemble two semis colliding, but the intent remains clear and is great fun to watch.

The new, straightforward redo of “The Longest Yard” doesn’t quite stand as proudly at the 1974 version did. However, Adam Sandler and his cronies have turned this modest football tale into a larger sensory experience, and have made the film into something the original film could never be accused of being: hilariously, recklessly, and undeniably entertaining.

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originally posted: 05/21/09 05:17:56
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User Comments

8/27/13 Zack I love this movie 5 stars
11/13/09 Homer J. Fong Who is this "Pete" Crewe you keep mentioning? The character's name is *Paul*. 1 stars
5/25/09 Brandon Allin It's a mildly entertaining comedy. 3 stars
11/28/08 Shaun Wallner Hilarious Movie! 4 stars
9/27/08 k. this movie was awesome 5 stars
4/26/07 eddie great very funny just brill 5 stars
4/18/07 David Pollastrini not as good as the original 2 stars
1/21/07 David A. Poor remake of a weak original. This time, the ref gets hit in the nuts with the ball. 1 stars
11/23/06 Austin Wertman HILARIOUS 4 stars
11/16/06 Steve Newman Mean Machine in 1974 the best - British version on soccer was rubbish - this is truly awful 1 stars
9/08/06 drydock54321 do you really believe they would take football that seriously 2 stars
7/24/06 Joyce Verhoeven Cool 5 stars
7/08/06 NS Not much, but funny... and with Courteny Cox. 3 stars
7/08/06 Gerry Irons Funny in parts- overall not a typical sandler movie- bette than the original- like amore ad 3 stars
5/11/06 eric banner sandler did an exelent job in the movie, it was the best movie i've ever seen 5 stars
5/02/06 Anthony Feor Sandler should consider retirement 1 stars
4/25/06 jeffery goodson it was so great 5 stars
4/05/06 Quigley is dum this movie isnt foul Quigley what r u a mom 5 stars
4/03/06 JRE really funny. not as good as the first one though 4 stars
1/11/06 Michael Go Team and all that 4 stars
11/02/05 Dots Funny 5 stars
10/26/05 latrice this movie was the best and nelly was so fine 5 stars
10/26/05 jake awesome 5 stars
10/16/05 Quigley a totally foul and offensive movie. I really miss when movies were GOOD! skip this crap. 1 stars
9/13/05 bbbr sounds good 5 stars
9/10/05 Tori I thought this was a wonderful movie, hilarious 5 stars
8/28/05 Tom Burns A very entertaining movie. 5 stars
7/21/05 susie this movie rocks,i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
7/03/05 Vic Great movie...adam is hilarious was good even though i saw it twice in 1 day.agaisnt my wil 4 stars
7/02/05 Eddie Not the best remake 3 stars
6/29/05 Obi Wan Adam Sandler is NOT FUNNY! 1 stars
6/21/05 Amanda Roberts Definetly not as good as I expected 3 stars
6/15/05 Julia I totally love this movie and i am an 11 year old girl!! 5 stars
6/15/05 Quigley totally disgusting offensive humor that a stupid two year old would laugh at. atrocious!!!! 1 stars
6/15/05 Parsley I don't know what you think but I thought it was cool how it stuck to the origanal. 5 stars
6/14/05 anne Turner its better than all you idiots say it is 4 stars
6/12/05 Tanya Simpson I thought it was hysterically funny 4 stars
6/12/05 Valerie Won't increase your intellect or political awareness, but great for laughs 4 stars
6/09/05 chris kohn even though dis movie was a remake of a classic it still was a hit wit da new generation"X" 5 stars
6/08/05 Drew Peltier I really enjoyed this movie 4 stars
6/07/05 Dave McCulley This movie was hilarious. This reviewer doesn't know good movies. Adam Sandler at his best 5 stars
6/07/05 John Bale Sandler miscast badly in this poor remake that lacks many laughs, but not action. 3 stars
6/07/05 KingNeutron What can I say, I liked it. 4 stars
6/05/05 Brian how many SNL has-bens does it take to make a bad movie? 1 stars
6/05/05 Josh Brogan This was a very funny movie, sandler is a comical genious, see it for yourself 5 stars
6/03/05 Christy Schultz The original was way better... 2 stars
6/03/05 deadwiz Fun for a few laughs, nothing more. 3 stars
6/03/05 Quigley i wish the ratings could go lower, because this crap-fest deserves every stinkin' bit!!!!! 1 stars
6/03/05 drgonzo7 normally i hate Adam Sandler, but this movie wasn't that bad. 4 stars
6/03/05 Hater Sandler is not funny! Can't hold a movie, better suited for skits on SNL! 1 stars
6/02/05 sandler sucks sandler sucks 2 stars
6/01/05 Josh It was awesome! It was so funny. It rocked. I would see it again and again and again. 5 stars
5/29/05 Frank Newhouse Fooooonies! =-) 5 stars
5/29/05 KCobain Sandler officially sucks now. What garbage. 1 stars
5/27/05 tomlove thanhcong 2 stars
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  27-May-2005 (PG-13)
  DVD: 20-Sep-2005



Directed by
  Peter Segal

Written by
  Sheldon Turner

  Adam Sandler
  Chris Rock
  Burt Reynolds
  James Cromwell
  William Fichtner

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