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Overall Rating
2.01

Awesome: 3.7%
Worth A Look: 7.41%
Average: 14.07%
Pretty Bad: 35.56%
Total Crap39.26%

11 reviews, 69 user ratings


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Doom
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by brianorndorf

"Maybe video games don't belong on the big screen"
1 stars

Translating video games to feature films is a tricky business, with “Doom” a good example of what not to do. Photographed with a mystifying vagueness, this action film is clueless on how to entertain. Instead of good, friendly violent fun, “Doom” is a stunning bore, adding another failure to The Rock’s acting rise, and hopefully putting a stop to Andrzej Bartowiak’s thoroughly uninteresting directorial career.

When a remote research facility on Mars sends a distress signal back to Earth, a team of marines are sent in to help, including the troubled Reaper (nicely played by Karl Urban), and led by the intolerant Sarge (The Rock, sweaty and exaggerated). Upon arrival, the team learns that mutated monsters have taken over the area, with the beasts picking off members of the squad one by one. With the help of a lone scientist (Rosamund Pike, a talented actress doing a ghastly American accent), Sarge and his group look to contain the problem and, if that fails them, kill anything that stands in their way.

Turning video games into movies is a large artistic leap few have landed successfully. Inherently razor-thin experiences, video games need that special touch, that unique verve, to deliver the special joystick enchantment. Director Andrzej Bartowiak is not a filmmaker capable of such magic.

A former cinematographer of the highest order ("Speed," "Falling Down"), Bartowiak has stumbled in his directorial efforts, helming not one, not two, but three DMX-starring action films ("Exit Wounds," "Cradle 2 the Grave," and "Romeo Must Die"), all of which were frightfully awful. Finding himself always directing brawny, testosterone-laden epics, Bartowiak has yet to prove himself capable of making anything other than complete junk. "Doom" is suited to his sensibilities since it measures high on the blood-n-guns meter, and features a mostly male cast of monosyllabic brutes. It comes as no surprise that the director blunders the material badly, if you can even call it material to begin with.

"Doom" is adapted from a popular first-person-shooter (FPS) video game of the 1990s, which featured large helpings of bullets, gore, and wisecracking marines. It's not exactly Pinter, but "Doom" does feature the type of groundwork that could eventually make a fun, pulpy, wide-eyed science-fiction actioner. Bartowiak's "Doom" is the opposite of fun, turning the sprightly video game into a horribly lit, carelessly framed, and poorly acted mess. Another similar property, 2002's "Resident Evil," contained comparable ingredients and was inundated with complete incompetence, but it managed to become a goofy genre blast. "Doom" doesn't. The film is just bad, partially because it refuses to seek out any sense of excitement, but mainly because it has a director who has absolutely no clue to what he's doing with any given frame of this movie.

While I applaud the limited use of CGI in "Doom," the inability to physically see anything of value negates the achievement. Everything in the film is lit so darkly, it's as if the film was set in a stoner's bedroom on a smoky Saturday night. The monsters, the very centerpiece of the franchise, are mere shadows on the wall, only breaking free to murkily grab a character and pull them out of frame. Bartowiak doesn't let his audience view much, insisting on claustrophobic, overused close-ups of every actor (especially The Rock), and jumbled editing to maintain the guy-in-a-rubber-suit magic. The screenwriters also do their part to ruin the experience by handing the most clichéd marine dialog to anyone willing to speak it, which promises all sorts of macho butt kicking, but seldom delivers.

In fact, the only inspired bit of business in "Doom" is the one sequence that defeats the purpose of making a feature film in the first place. Bartowiak stages a five minute FPS sequence toward the end of the movie, with Reaper fighting his way through the lab's hallways, shooting through zombies, blowing up monsters, and chain-sawing beasties.

Meant to jolt the fans of the game awake with a direct homage, it does successfully achieve some much needed carnage, but it also stops the movie dead, and should remind the viewer (yet again) that playing the actual game is much more fun than seeing a terrible movie version of it.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=13269&reviewer=404
originally posted: 10/21/05 14:59:01
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User Comments

7/13/09 User Goat was funny, I recognised him as the criminal who killed Bruce's parents in batman Begin 4 stars
2/04/09 WiseGuy Josh Standlee "Better than sex " - Obviously you had terrible sex 1 stars
6/29/08 George Wow!!! This film completely redefines the word "awful". The FPS section was good, but short 1 stars
6/08/08 PAUL SHORTT A DARK, VIOLENT, NERVE-WRACKING, TRIGGER-GIDDY WASTE OF TIME 1 stars
6/03/08 badgersbum Good suspense when it finally got going but not a good film. FPS too short! 2 stars
12/15/07 Damian Eades No-one who played Doom 12 years ago will like it 1 stars
9/14/07 matt i enjoyed it. 4 stars
7/28/07 Wee Todd Didd Pretty poor movie, great game though. 2 stars
7/08/07 Tom Servo Plot was more of a Resident Evil flavor than Doom-verdict= D- 2 stars
7/08/07 al smith pretty good but not enough gore 4 stars
5/05/07 Reesefire Black A shameless ripoff of "Aliens",yes, but still a bloody good time. FPS sequence was cool. 4 stars
3/05/07 --- Actually left the theatre and got a refund. For video game dorks only. 1 stars
12/05/06 Stanley Thai It's a really bad film with some action and bad lightings that you can't see anything. 2 stars
10/31/06 ES about what you'd expect 1 stars
8/22/06 JM Synth Weinberg on the money. FPS sequence was fun but I could have just played the game for that 2 stars
7/31/06 Notch Johnson I love horror movies...but the filming was SOOOO bad...couldn't see a thing 1 stars
6/05/06 Josh Standlee Better than sex!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 5 stars
4/10/06 Ron Newbold Play the game - 2 stars
4/07/06 Aldo REALLY REALLY BAD... 1 stars
4/01/06 Michele not really good but fun for the game lovers 3 stars
3/30/06 M. Dido Sure it's dumb - but it's great fun! 3 stars
3/29/06 Indrid Cold Perhaps Silent Hill will be the 1st good video game movie, but I'm not holding my breath. 2 stars
3/28/06 Danny Johanson Yeah, the Movie was crap, but it was amusing as all hell. 4 stars
3/28/06 Brian Meyer Was Street Fighter the worst VG movie? Not anymore. KILL THE ROCK!!!! 1 stars
3/26/06 y2mckay Like A vs P, first hour sucks ass, last 20 minutes kick ass. A popcorn movie, nothing more. 3 stars
2/20/06 ducka now can they make a REAL doom movie? 3 stars
2/20/06 chris f not a bad movie worth watching 4 stars
2/12/06 Anus wonderful work of CRAP!!! 1 stars
2/11/06 movie_buff A failed attempt to the first (great) Predator movie. I fell asleep! 2 stars
2/11/06 the laughing man good, but not entirely great 3 stars
2/11/06 Rocky I can't believe they managed to fvck up a slam-dunk like DOOM! Worse than even The Cave 1 stars
1/02/06 Wiseman Im a hardcore doom fan, This one sucked it let me down, I had to cry 1 stars
12/22/05 MUCH sound & fury signifying Total Crap / Sucks Wish Samantha had farted to take away Eric's 2nd star; no stars for me either way. 1 stars
12/20/05 Anal AHAHAHAHAHHA WHAT A PILE OF CRAP 1 stars
12/18/05 Doomguy Definitely a film for Doom fans; not necessarily for the whole media masses. 5 stars
12/18/05 Goatse People who find this film "intriguing" probably say the same about worms in their stools 1 stars
12/16/05 YJS standard crap at beginning, but gets intriguing as the film goes on 4 stars
12/16/05 Cunt World's Biggest Turd 1 stars
11/27/05 chris shite film man who made it needs to die 1 stars
11/20/05 Duck MST 3000 quality! Tons o fun 5 stars
11/11/05 Dan Smith Great Special Effects, and ot a let down as a video game fan. 4 stars
11/11/05 gescom waste of time and money [even in hollymood] 1 stars
11/10/05 CHRIS EXCELLENT FOR what it is - popcorn action movie 5 stars
11/09/05 Alice This is the worst movie of the year! And I have seen a lot! 1 stars
11/04/05 Anus LAAAADIIIIEEEESSS WE'RE IN LOCKDOWN....Fuck you, just for that you're getting an 'F' 1 stars
10/31/05 Jonathon Holmes Sinks to the idiot shallows of Stealth and Fantastic Four, horrible 1 stars
10/31/05 Wisamane Im a die hard gamer And i think this movie was a pieace of crap, the game was better 1 stars
10/29/05 CONSTANTINE DOOMED... More like "Resident Evil" in outer-space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 stars
10/28/05 Lennart Mol If you know DOOM, then you KNOW this is NOT DOOM. 1 stars
10/27/05 Michael Kondo you'll like it if you like doom, hate it if you dont 2 stars
10/27/05 deadwiz something to do for 2 hours. 3 stars
10/26/05 Nick_Voro Met the expectations of being terrible. But it wasn't not to the level of Fantastic Four. 2 stars
10/25/05 chris fox (the god) garbage 1 stars
10/25/05 bentable wtf 1 stars
10/25/05 DEEDeeDEEe IF YOU THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE THE MOVIE U CANT PLEASE EVERYONE 4 stars
10/24/05 othree WASTED EVERYTHING, rent it to hear the Rock saying motherfucker. Gamers will be highly diss 1 stars
10/24/05 KingNeutron I thought it was OK, and I haven't even played Doom. 3 stars
10/24/05 Monster W. Kung Lowtax, I hope you mean Doom3, not I and II. If you think those sucked, you should be shot. 2 stars
10/24/05 Lowtax Jhon - THE GAME FUCKING SUCKED TOO. I CAN'T SEE SHIT, FAGGOT! 1 stars
10/23/05 Wisamane THE MOVIE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HELL!!! Stupid catch phrases, Cheesey Music. 1 stars
10/23/05 baseball-nut Should've stayed in the wrestling ring, The Rock sucks as an actor! 1 stars
10/22/05 Wisamane that Fps crap was annoying, IF I WANNA SEE SOMTHING IN FPS ILL PLAY THE GAME!!! 1 stars
10/22/05 Anthony G GARBAGE 1 stars
10/22/05 Jhon grifiths From what i have read some people thought it was crap, well PLAY THE DAMB GAME MORON 5 stars
10/22/05 The Talking Elbow I sincerely enjoyed this film. I think sometimes you critics are too snooty. It wasn't bad. 4 stars
10/22/05 Kristina Williams thank GOD I didnt pay to watch this. 1 stars
10/22/05 Wisamane LOL!!!!! @ WHATEVR, NOW READING THAT BROUGHT ME MORE JOY THAN WATCHING THE SHITTY MOVIE!! 1 stars
10/22/05 whatevr The title of the movie explains the future of all video-game based movies 1 stars
10/19/05 Wisamane LMAO what can i say I knew this movie was going to suck ass...pussy ass hollywood 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  21-Oct-2005 (R)
  DVD: 07-Feb-2006

UK
  N/A

Australia
  27-Oct-2005




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