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Overall Rating

Awesome: 4.88%
Worth A Look: 19.51%
Average: 2.44%
Pretty Bad: 2.44%
Total Crap70.73%

5 reviews, 11 user ratings

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Yours, Mine & Ours (2005)
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by Scott Weinberg

"Hell on Celluloid"
1 stars

I went into Yours, Mine & Ours expecting it to be broad, limp, and obvious, but since I'm such a huge Dennis Quaid fan, I held out some semblance of hope. It lasted about four minutes. To all the parents out there, I'll simply say this: A 433rd re-watching of Finding Nemo is a better option than this flick. Trust me.

Tough to do a "movie review" when the item on display is barely even a "movie," but I'll give it a go:

Yours, Mine & Ours is one of the most shoddily constructed, pathetically written, and shamelessly contrived expenditures of 81 minutes you'll ever have. Remake of a limp 1961 farce starring Henry Fonda and Lucille Ball, and obviously rushed into production the second that Steve Martin's Cheaper by the Dozen remake went box office platinum, Yours, Mine & Ours is an absolutely mindless and mediocre piece of cinematic swill ... which explains just perfectly how the thing managed to gross over $50 million at the U.S. box office before it was jettisoned to make room for ... yep, Cheaper by the Dozen 2.

One can only assume that likable actors Dennis Quaid and Rene Russo had a few empty months in their respective schedules, so when the call came in for Yours, Mine & Ours, they must have figured "Sure, why not? A lame-o family comedy that'll net me a quick paycheck. Sign me up." So while it's acceptable that an actor's gotta work to keep his family fed ... it's pretty damn humiliating to watch two talented actors wading through dreck this intense.

(Also, you might allow the presence of cast members Rip Torn, David Koechner, Jerry O'Connell, and Danielle Panabaker to trick you into thinking they have something of value to contribute. That would be a wrong thing to do.)

Start plot synopsis: A widow and a widower get wed, resulting in a family unit that now consists of a free-spirited mom, a by-the-book dad, 18 brain-kickingly obnoxious children, and a pig. End plot synopsis. Oh, and four of the little kids are twins. And one's an adopted Vietnamese tot who behaves just like a grown-up homosexual fashion designer. Seriously, folks, the only things missing from this movie are a laugh track and Bob Saget.

Hired to direct this inert piece of flotsam was Mr. Raja Gosnell, the filmmaker who gave you Big Momma's House, Never Been Kissed, and not one but two entire Scooby Doo movies. Frankly I could end the review right here, content that I've told you all I need to about the cheap, chintzy awfulness of Yours, Mine & Ours...

But since I love my job I'll continue.

The Yours, Mine & Ours DVD case is proud to exclaim that the "Film Advisory Board" has labeled the flick "The best family comedy of the year!" This tells me one of two things: Either the "Film Advisory Board" is composed of people directly related to Raja Gosnell, or they neglected to see movies like Ice Princess, Madagascar, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Sky High, or the Wallace & Gromit movie. Perhaps they'd have been better off calling the flick "Almost noticably less awful than Cheaper by the Dozen 2!"

Yours, Mine & Ours is a movie with no semblance of sense, logic, conflict, wit, or insight. What the filmmakers would call "light & sweet" is actually a noxious and gratingly insincere feature-length sitcom that'll have you stampeding toward the closest bottle of aspirin. (Or arsenic.) It's not funny in any discernible way, unless you consider the sight of someone slipping on paint the pinnacle of all things hilarious. The thing feels like it was produced on the mega-cheap, with all the money that would normally go towards screenwriters, production design, and a half-decent director already promised to the lead actors, both of whom deserved a huge freakin' payday for appearing in tripe this ripe (or a huge freakin' pay-cut, I can't decide). And frankly I can't imagine the Mom & Dad who'd willingly take their family to visit one this loud, obnoxious, and scream-happy. It'd be like a person who just recently escaped from a serial killer paying money to see Saw 2.

The final "joke" in the movie is that of a large pig eating a wedding cake and belching loudly. Couldn't sum it up any better than that.

(© Review reprinted from DVDTalk, with permission from the author (me) and the DVDT management. For the full DVD specs on this particular movie, please visit and get friendly with the search bar.)

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originally posted: 02/19/06 07:34:33
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User Comments

1/12/09 Liz This was the best movie in the whole world! YEAH! GO! 5 stars
11/08/08 who bloody shit, jokes are lame as, even for a family film, bad messeges for kids too, avoid 1 stars
3/06/07 David Pollastrini The original was better 2 stars
4/27/06 Katie We went as a family and thoroughly enjoyed it...Don't understand your problems with it!! 4 stars
4/12/06 balloon man wow wow wow 5 stars
4/11/06 Anthony Bad film. Not worth your time. 1 stars
3/08/06 Jenna Furr Best to say for it is Rene Russo may have quit thinking she shits chocolate ice cream. 3 stars
12/22/05 tina mateer what can I say? TRASH CAN!!! 1 stars
11/28/05 Shelley Smith I come from family of 14. This film SUCKS!!! 1 stars
11/27/05 neefer A GOOD FAMILY FILM 4 stars
11/24/05 hibbyX For people who thought CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN was just too high brow. 1 stars
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  23-Nov-2005 (PG)
  DVD: 28-Feb-2006



[trailer] Trailer

Directed by
  Raja Gosnell

Written by
  Ron Burch
  David Kidd

  Dennis Quaid
  Rene Russo
  Sean Faris
  Katija Pevec
  Dean Collins
  Tyler Patrick Jones

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