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Overall Rating
1.72

Awesome: 6.52%
Worth A Look: 0%
Average: 6.52%
Pretty Bad: 32.61%
Total Crap54.35%

5 reviews, 16 user ratings


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Big Momma's House 2
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Scott Weinberg

"Dear Lord, what will it take to stop Martin Lawrence?"
1 stars

It's an inexplicable phenomenon, not at all unlike the 'which came first, the chicken or the egg?' brain-twister: How does a movie as bad as "Big Momma's House 2" get made? Well, because moviegoers will pay to see it, that's how. But why do the moviegoers pay to see it? Simply because it exists, that's why. It's like a cycle of suck.

I hate to get overly philosophical in my reviews, especially when we're dealing with a witless, worthless, mirthless piece of crap that stars not only the stunningly unfunny Martin Lawrence, but the stunningly unfunny Martin Lawrence in drag and a fat-suit ... but I simply have nowhere to go with my analysis of Big Momma's House 2. To these eyes, a movie like this represents the very lowest form of filmmaking imaginable. Guys who direct snuff flicks in the slums of Khazakstan probably look at Big Momma's House 2 and think "Hey, I'm not such a terrible filmmaker after all!"

Sequel that no one asked for to an original that no one likes, Big Momma's House 2 is, quite simply, so atrocious that it depresses me. The movie's "about" a moronic FBI agent who goes undercover as a fat nanny in an effort to uncover something or spy on someone else. The plot matters not one fermented whit -- not to you, not to the filmmakers, and especially not to shameless camera hog Martin Lawrence, who (after a string of flops like Rebound, National Security, and Black Knight) decided the only way to keep the mortgage paid was to leech on to former successes. Bad Boys 2 and Big Momma's House 2 made solid money, but those series won't last forever ... thank god.

The plot is casually forgotten about whenever Martin waddles his way into another "uproarious" adventure. Oh, look! Fat Suit on the beach! I'm actively chuckling! Whoa, Fat Suit dances silly! Giggle! Oh, oh, now it's Fat Suit in a spa! OMG, he jumps in the mud, lol! Aw look, Fat Suit is being sweet to the kids. Snif. Oh wait, it's over? Good.

So in Part 2, Fat Suit Cross Dresser moves in with a tighty-whitey family in an effort to thwart some bad guys, which results in 90-some minutes of fat jokes, toddler slapstick, and Martin Lawrence at his most overwhelmingly obnoxious. He's the guy at the office party who makes all the beat box noises and dances around the room while everyone chuckles politely and rolls their eyes when he's not looking. Truly, the only living person who could look Lawrence in the eye and say "yes, Big Momma's House 2 is a very funny film," is a guy who's hoping to brown-nose his way into a co-producer credit on Big Momma's House 3.

Right about here is where I'd probably mention one or two unexpectedly funny sequences or a handful of character actors who manage to bring some light to this brain-stabbingly inept piece of moviemaking ... but I can't think of one. There's certainly no laughs in the movie that I can recall, and the background actors are presented as extra-banal -- so as to give Lawrence the only possible spotlight. If you've ever been curious to see what Pure Misguided Ego, Captured on Celluloid looks like, look no further than Big Momma's House 2.

Directed with all the style of a Christmas pageant at the "special" school, and written with all the creativity that can be mustered by someone hell-bent on simply plagiarizing Uncle Buck, Kindergarten Cop, and The Pacifier, Big Momma's House 2 is a drop-dead awful piece of certifiable studio swill. The fact that it grossed nearly 70 million bucks simply boggles my mind. If you were among those who paid to see BM2 during its theatrical run, you officially lose the right to complain about "all these crappy Hollywood sequels." Forever.

(Note: For years I was one of those guys who argued with people that Martin Lawrence IS funny. I thought his sitcom had some solid bits, and that his stand-up material was pretty darn funny. Those opinions dried up right around a movie called Blue Streak, and they're never coming back.)

( Review reprinted from DVDTalk, with permission from the author (me) and the DVDT management. For the full DVD specs on this particular movie, please visit www.DVDTalk.com and get friendly with the search bar.)

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=13773&reviewer=128
originally posted: 05/12/06 08:16:06
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User Comments

2/19/09 Gwen This was a very funny cool emotional fun movie. 5 stars
1/12/09 Shaun Wallner This movie was stupid! 1 stars
2/04/08 Pamela White Lawrence should not do sequals 2 stars
12/22/06 John Z Not as good as the original 2 stars
12/17/06 alaa' tadros what is the song in the cheerleading competitoin 5 stars
10/24/06 amg What is the song that is played @ the beach scene ? it owns 5 stars
7/25/06 Ryan_A Completely unnecessary, and not the least bit funny or entertaining. 1 stars
5/29/06 Charlene Javier Good for a few laughs. 3 stars
5/19/06 Staci Scott Weinberg's review is so extremely accurate (and hilarious), I have nothing to add. 1 stars
5/18/06 Alfred Guy He's still not funny! This is the last for me. 1 stars
4/08/06 Frank Rountree It was worse than the first one 2 stars
4/06/06 Troy M. Grzych This is Martin Lawerence's version of "Mrs. Doubtfire'" but not as funny. 3 stars
2/20/06 Sean D You've been warned. Understand? You've been fucking warned 1 stars
2/17/06 Soha Molina average 3 stars
1/30/06 james if you like fat black tranvestite cops this is your movie 1 stars
1/28/06 Popem Why is Martin Lawrence still allowed to make movies? 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  27-Jan-2006 (PG-13)
  DVD: 09-May-2006

UK
  10-Feb-2006

Australia
  26-Jan-2006


Directed by
  John Whitesell

Written by
  Don Rhymer

Cast
  Martin Lawrence
  Nia Long
  Emily Procter
  Zachary Levi
  Mark Moses



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