More in-depth film festival coverage than any other website!
Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
Advertisement

Overall Rating
2.14

Awesome: 0%
Worth A Look: 0%
Average: 14.29%
Pretty Bad85.71%
Total Crap: 0%

1 review, 1 rating


Latest Reviews

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets by Rob Gonsalves

Roman J. Israel, Esq. by Peter Sobczynski

Coco (2017) by Peter Sobczynski

Prey (2017) by Jay Seaver

Lu Over the Wall by Jay Seaver

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri by alejandroariera

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri by Peter Sobczynski

Justice League by Peter Sobczynski

Mumon: The Land of Stealth by Jay Seaver

Geek Girls by Jay Seaver

subscribe to this feed


Second to Die
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Scott Weinberg

"First to Snooze"
2 stars

Eleniak enthusiasts will have to see it, I'm sure, but I can't imagine anyone else who'd sit through the whole thing.

If they care anything about the outlets they write for and the kind people who read their work, film critics generally try to deliver a half-decent "word count" every time out. Sometimes it's no fun to find 825 words on the latest Martin Lawrence comedy, but professionalism dictates that a movie review should be appreciably longer than this:

"This movie stunk and there's really nothing more to say about it. Go read a book or play some video games or something."

But once in a great while a movie comes along and, as one watches it he finds himself thinking, "Geez. Reviewing this movie would be like describing air. There's just nothing here." Such was my experience a few hours ago when I was about halfway through the generic blandness known as Second to Die.

Yes it stars former Playboy Bunny Erika Eleniak, and yes it has a scene in which her breasts are displayed prominently -- but if that's all a movie needs to get your seven dollars, I think you might need to go read a book or play some video games or something.

Here's an interactive game we can play together. I'll say a few phrases and you try to piece them together and make the movie inside your brain. Ready?

1. Insurance Policy.

2. Abused Wife.

3. Adultery.

4. Nosy cops.

5. Erika Eleniak.

From this point on, you could write a review of Second to Die, starring John Wesley Shipp, Paul Winfield, Colleen Camp, Jerry Kroll, Kimberly Rowe, Margaret Avery, and that pretty blonde Eleniak chick who never fails to bare the boobs, thereby explaining why she continues to find employment.

Second to Die isn't even soft-core sex-laden enough to quality as a Cinemax Special; it's more concerned with doling out its endless parade of stock characters, twists, and conversations than anything else, which makes it more of a 3am Showtime Channel special than anything else. The sort that'll knock you into slumber-land quicker than two sleeping pills and a gallon of warm milk.

( Review reprinted from DVDTalk, with permission from the author (me) and the DVDT management. For the full DVD specs on this particular movie, please visit www.DVDTalk.com and get friendly with the search bar.)

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=13914&reviewer=128
originally posted: 02/15/06 01:03:06
[printer] printer-friendly format  

User Comments

9/09/08 John Kinda boring, strays too often. Need Paul Winfield in earlier 3 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
Note: Duplicate, 'planted,' or other obviously improper comments
will be deleted at our discretion. So don't bother posting 'em. Thanks!
Your Name:
Your Comments:
Your Location: (state/province/country)
Your Rating:


Discuss this movie in our forum

USA
  23-Apr-2002 (R)
  DVD: 07-Feb-2006

UK
  N/A

Australia
  N/A




Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
eFilmCritic.com: Australia's Largest Movie Review Database.
Privacy Policy | HBS Inc. | |   

All data and site design copyright 1997-2017, HBS Entertainment, Inc.
Search for
reviews features movie title writer/director/cast