Think of your favorite 65-year-old person. Now think of that person stuck in the middle of a low-budget action sequence, karate chopping, head-butting, neck-cracking, etc., their way through a story that feels like it was written by two particularly lazy children. That's "The Cutter," the latest action film from 65-year-old Chuck Norris.If I opined that The Cutter is almost marginally better than your average Steven Seagal movie, would you consider that an enthusiastic recommendation? Well, you shouldn't, because that's as complimentary as I'll get in regard to this woeful mass of slovenly celluloid.
Norris plays a private dick who, following the death of his latest clients' daughter (nobody said he was a talented dick), finds himself embroiled in a kidnapping scenario that involves concentration camp survivors, two massive diamonds, and the guy who played Doc on The Love Boat from 1977 to 1986.
The screenplay is rife with groaners like "I'm as serious as a heart attack," and "I threw him out the window because ... I needed some air," while the production design looks like someone raided the storage room at your local Office Max.
Despite the collectively wood-like presence of a few familiars faces (Joanna Pacula, Tracy Scoggins, the guy who played Doc on The Love Boat from 1977 to 1986), the flick never once feels like more than an extended episode of Walker: Texas Ranger combined with (literally) every kidnapping movie ever made.