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Overall Rating
1.5

Awesome: 8.33%
Worth A Look: 0%
Average: 0%
Pretty Bad: 16.67%
Total Crap75%

1 review, 6 user ratings


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Ring Around the Rosie
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by Scott Weinberg

"A one-note, two-character yawn-fest"
1 stars

Here's a tip to all you single girls who've inherited your dead grandmother's expansive and isolated estate: If the backyard shed is occupied by, say, Tom Sizemore, my advice is to abandon your inheritance and find yourself the closest cruise to Tahiti.

Alas, the main character in the stupidly titled Ring Around the Rosie does not heed my advice, opting instead to wander aimlessly and meander endlessly through her dead granny mansion, never once stopping to realize "Hey, Tom Sizemore lives in my backyard shed! I really oughtta get out of here!!"

The endless tedium of the one-note plot is occasionally interrupted by an extended dream sequence punctuated by a fake scare, but since none of this material has anything to do with the film, I say you can safely scan right past these moments. (Indeed, you could watch the entire movie on FF and you wouldn't miss much.)

So this chick keeps wandering and Sizemore keeps acting all nice, which doesn't fool anyone except the main girl, of course. Then the pretty blonde sister shows up and Sizemore, now aroused, starts showing his true colors. (He starts spittling when he talks and waves his knife around a little more often.)

And then it all just plays out like you'd expect: rabid Sizemore and two shrieking women.

Drably directed, sloppily written, and an absolute chore to sit through, Ring Around the Rosie is something you'd watch on HBO19, because you recognize the girl from Jeepers Creepers, before opting for entertainment a bit more challenging -- like the Game Show Network.

(© Review reprinted from DVDTalk, with permission from the author (me) and the DVDT management. For the full DVD specs on this particular movie, please visit www.DVDTalk.com and get friendly with the search bar.)

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=14186&reviewer=128
originally posted: 05/22/06 17:58:40
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User Comments

9/21/08 adam Jenny Mollen yum!....movie err...wtf can u say? 2 stars
7/28/06 LMS hmmm..... what? 1 stars
6/13/06 Mia total waste of anyone's time 1 stars
5/27/06 nadine thomas waste of time 1 stars
5/26/06 Indrid Cold Would almost be better if it was completely atrocious. Then at least it would be memorable. 2 stars
4/03/06 David Wibren Scary…..!!! Awesome picture. Sizemore and Gina Philips are both great. 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  21-Mar-2006 (R)
  DVD: 21-Mar-2006

UK
  N/A

Australia
  N/A


Directed by
  Rubi Zack

Written by
  Rubi Zack

Cast
  Tom Sizemore
  Gina Philips
  Randall Batinkoff
  Jenny Mollen
  Carlene Moore



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