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Overall Rating
1.83

Awesome: 0%
Worth A Look: 6.15%
Average: 10.77%
Pretty Bad43.08%
Total Crap: 40%

8 reviews, 17 user ratings


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Basic Instinct 2
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by Slyder

"This time, itís a lot lamer, stupider, and with less nudity. Amazing!"
1 stars

Ah yes, the long awaited but ultimately pointless sequel of the much adored (or is it lusted?) but ultimately overrated sexual thriller Basic Instinct finally has arrived. Only this time, it kind of sank like a rock thrown into the East River albeit carrying a lot of blasting criticism and a bunch of laughs and groans. And itís hard not to see why; the film was ultimately a cash-in for Sharon Stone, whom since her peak in Casino way back in the mid-90ís kind of petered out with lame-ass roles and dumb and dull movies over recent years. And too bad this film is just as dumb and dull and furthermore, to all males and females with the sudden primal urge, itís ultimately very disappointing.

So, our favorite femme fatale from the early 90ís Catherine Trammell (Stone) appears once again as the prime suspect of the murder of a soccer player after she and him went off into the river on her Porsche Spyder going over 100MPH while he was finger-fucking her (...yeah, that's what I thought as well). Detective Roy Washburn (David Thewlis) doesnít buy her story and brings in ďhotshotĒ psychologist Michael Glass (David Morrissey) to evaluate her. Dr. Glass (Youíre an idiot if you donít get the theme behind the name), is trying to put to rest a smear campaign regarding a former patient of his who killed his girlfriend years ago as well as the implication and after effects of his divorce from his ex-wife Denise (Indira Varma). Catherine of course, manages to weave her way into Dr. Glassís very transparent shield and look at his past and his personal life, and start with him another mind-fuck of a game of manipulation, which of course, Dr. Glass will not be able to control.

Youíve seen this before, and even redone and remade a thousand times over. Hell, I could even argue that this movie is a rip-off (or a remake if the filmmakers are really that stupid) of Madonnaís equally lambasted sex vehicle Body of Evidence. The psychiatrist/lawyer/cop/toilet cleaner who falls for the wrong woman sheís examining/checking out on; please take me home will you? From the ridiculous opening scene shenanigans, which sets the ball rolling, to its complete closure, the film is ultimately predictable, with a few twists and shocks to throw you off and to make you believe that it actually has some intelligence. Itís all a smoke and mirrors show, as transparent as Morrisseyís Dr. Glass himself. If heís a brilliant psychiatrist, then Great Britain isnít a place Iíd like to go for treatment of mental illness, cause he has to be the stupidest character in the movie (plus, can you get more obvious with the name? Jeez). But then again, all men are dumb-asses in the world of Basic Instinct 1 and 2. The guy canít realize that Catherine is a loose cannon from minute one, and if he did (which is what the movie hints), heís keeping it to himself like he did with his previous and oft-talked about client, which makes him all the more stupider. He has this code of ethics you know? Yeah, seriously. Oh, and try not to laugh when Catherine mentions her latest book sheís working on. Guess what itís about? Come on guess!

This stench of a film will not look great on Michael Caton-Jonesí resume. Michael is a dependable if unreliable filmmaker, with a couple of interesting films like Rob Roy and Scandal. And he also did Doc Hollywood, The Jackal (that POS movie), and City By the Sea. Seriously, if Michael wants to keep on having work, he better start cleaning up his act and start putting the good scripts on top of the pile. This movie looks like a complete rush-job with poorly made CGI effects thrown in from time to time. The sets are big and flashy; the film has this grandiose look that ends up being pretentious. And donít get me started with that phallic-looking building which serves as the shrinkís headquarters. Itís hokey; itís all style and no substance. Hell, I donít even know if this film even has style at all anyways.

Those hoping to seek some new fresh titillation and masturbatory moments out of this movie from the gal who made everyoneís dicks hard way back in the early 90ís will ultimately be disappointed. Ultimately, and Iím reviewing the ďUnratedĒ version here fellows, which makes the following statement just as shocking, there isnít enough flesh from Sharon or the rest of the females that bare it all in the film. Itís even surprising with Sharon since youíd expect a lot of nudity and sexual contact from her. Not here, and as a full-breed male, I have to say that I felt pretty ripped off in that department, and several others will as well. Hard to believe isnít it? Hell, even if it meant just for camp value, or at least for the sake of the traditions of the original, there isnít even the slightest amount of T&A to make it worthy enough even of a discount rental. Thatís how abysmal this movie is. A bit more and it would be the Bolero the new millennium. Seems that all they grabbed from the original was the stupidity of it times two. Leora Barish and Henry Bean, a pox on the both of you, hope you enjoy your stay on screenwriter Hell.

On with the acting, it stinks. Sharon Stone sleepwalks through the entire movie, but Iíll give her this: she still looks very hot in her 40s, very fuckable, though most of that will probably be down to the makeup department covering the age lines on her body and face. David Morrissey tries not to crack on the utter ridiculousness of his character and you can tell heís struggling. David Thewlis fills in the blanks as the cop with a not-so-bright past. Indira Varma is passable, and looks pretty hot as well; too bad she doesnít take her clothes off here. The big fucker in this department has to be this: Miss Charlotte Rampling, what the hell were you thinking when you signed on to this movie? This reeks of paycheck all over, and I can even bet she wasnít paid enough since she doesnít take her clothes off here as well, given the history of nudity that this gal has had over the years. Or maybe that wouldíve been a bad idea; who knows? Ultimately, everyone has their tastes, some like younger women, others like older women, others like both, but anyways weíre getting off-topic here, you get the idea.

In the end, this film is a piece of trash; a cash-in for everyone involved. Those with large amounts of libido are better off with their original copy of Basic Instinct, or any other porno that they can find on their local rent-a-jerk-off video store. This one ainít worth the bargain bin price tag, not even the Friday night 2 for 1 rental. 0.5-5

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=14283&reviewer=235
originally posted: 12/19/06 20:10:09
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User Comments

9/13/17 morris campbell IT SUCKS 1 stars
10/22/08 Shaun Wallner Very Boring! 1 stars
6/06/08 Jenn Boring, dull, and completely unsexy...as hard as that is to believe. 2 stars
2/19/07 PC Stone is great is this kind of role.Not deserving of the bad rap this movie has gotten. 4 stars
2/18/07 David Pollastrini obviously made for money. glad it didn't make any! 1 stars
2/09/07 Dude really aweful 1 stars
10/02/06 Lisa Craven Cheap flick, cheap woman, stupid/predictable plot 2 stars
8/15/06 Anastasia Beaverhausen High gloss trash...like your mom 1 stars
5/29/06 Troy M. Grzych The fact that it was not in the cineama long says everything. 2 stars
5/09/06 Anton To be a 14 year later sequel it's not that bad 4 stars
4/15/06 Anus ANOTHER LOOK AT SHARON'S RANCID WRINKLED AGED BEEF CURTAINS 1 stars
4/14/06 M Sharon steams up the screen. Film not 'racy' enough, could of pushed envelope a bit more 3 stars
4/10/06 joey Entertaining. Good job by stone, great comic performance by the guy playing the detective. 4 stars
4/10/06 mr. mike one of filmdom's worst ever endings 2 stars
4/08/06 Mike I feel sorry for everyone involved in the making of this film 1 stars
4/06/06 Steve Michaud An embarrassingly limp and utterly unnecessary sequel 1 stars
4/02/06 john bale Sharon Stone still can steam up the screen, even in this uninspired but watchable reprise 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  31-Mar-2006 (R)
  DVD: 11-Jul-2006

UK
  31-Mar-2006

Australia
  30-Mar-2006




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