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Overall Rating
3.14

Awesome: 3.85%
Worth A Look37.5%
Average: 34.62%
Pretty Bad: 17.31%
Total Crap: 6.73%

10 reviews, 44 user ratings


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Poseidon
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by Lybarger

"The ‘Morning After’ sleeping pill."
2 stars

The great thing about Wolfgang Petersen’s new remake of “The Poseidon Adventure” is that he doesn’t waste any time with long exposition before capsizing the ship. That’s also the new film’s greatest liability.

Without really getting to know the characters before they get caught up in the disaster, it’s harder to care if they make it to the top of the upside down ocean liner and, hopefully, safety.

The original version of “The Poseidon Adventure” had its share of cornball moments but benefited enormously from some terrific performances from Gene Hackman and Ernest Borgnine and a slew of A-list stars.

Peterson’s “Poseidon” has some capable performers, including Oscar-winner Richard Dreyfuss as a jilted gay architect, but screenwriter Mark Protosevich gives them such sketchy characters that the actors have little or nothing to work with.

We learn bizarrely convenient details about the passengers as the film progresses. For example, Kurt Russell plays a fellow who just happens to be a former fireman and who later became mayor of New York. And it just so happens that Josh Lucas plays a bitter gambler who’s also a bitter former sailor and who can tell the ships capsizing is a bit, well, dangerous.

How’s that for coincidence?

Some of the other folks who are in danger of becoming fish food are a crass gambler (Kevin Dillon), the daughter of the former mayor (Emmy Rossum), her boyfriend (Mike Vogel), a single mom (Jacinda Barrett), her son (Jimmy Bennett), a stowaway (Mia Maestro) and the galley worker who smuggled her aboard (Freddy Rodríguez).

It’s hard not to get a sense that the actors are waiting for more interesting gigs to arise. Russell, in particular, looks bored throughout the film. It’s also eerie that ethnic minorities make up a disproportionate number of the casualties.

Maybe it’s because Protosevich makes easily predictable choices for who will end up taking permanent cruises. Without seeing the trailer you can tell that the dimply optimistic captain played by Andre Braugher and the singer played by Black Eyed Pea Stacey Ferguson are doomed. Playing a round of “guess who will die” isn’t much fun when the answers are obvious.

Petersen seems more interested in figuring out how to add explosions to the fires and the floods on the decks. It’s as if he, or some studio flunkie, assumed that merely tipping the boat weren’t enough to engage audiences the way it was in the 70s.

Worse, Petersen doesn’t seem content to merely remake only “The Poseidon Adventure.” He actually plagiarizes himself throughout the film. The giant wave looks as if was re-digitized from “The Perfect Storm,” and much of the wreckage comes straight out of “Das Boot.”

Once upon a time, Petersen made movies like those and “In the Line of Fire” that offered the thrills that audiences crave without insulting their collective intelligence. It’s almost as if the fumes from the blasts have dulled the filmmaker’s senses and the viewers’ interest in the film itself.

Who knew that this much mayhem could be so uninvolving? This movie sinks faster than the ship itself.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=14526&reviewer=382
originally posted: 05/12/06 14:47:42
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User Comments

9/14/17 morris campbell exciting with good effects 4 stars
7/29/11 Bob Dog A great b-movie - best disaster movie I've seen in years! 5 stars
5/18/11 Ravenmad I wouldn't want to die like this, but almost did watching this film. 2 stars
11/23/09 Jeff Wilder Story's predictable, no real suspense and we don't care about the characters. 2 stars
11/03/09 Darryl Great sp. effects, stars & fast-paced! Dreyfuss miscast, Cary Elwes wouldve been perfect. 4 stars
8/14/09 Dan better than you've heard, if still imperfect 3 stars
3/26/09 Eric Much better than I thought it'd be - avoid comparing to original and judge on its own merit 4 stars
2/11/09 Stewart Worst movie I have ever seen! No story or characters, just special effects and bad acting. 1 stars
1/16/09 Shaun Wallner Very Interesting 4 stars
4/07/08 art IT IS LIKE A COMPUTER GAME RATHER THAN A MOVIE 3 stars
1/15/08 JM Synth Generic with paper thin characters, but great action and suspense 4 stars
1/12/08 Brian Mckay Better than Titanic - at least you don't have to sit through bullshit love story first. 4 stars
10/02/07 Rick Excellent action, but weak character development. Still, awesome f/x make it worth seeing. 4 stars
7/14/07 Vincent Ebriega Great effects, set design and action, but, like the Poseidon, sinks too quickly. 3/5. 3 stars
4/19/07 Stevo UK To sum it up, Battlefield Earth was better. 1 stars
2/28/07 Stanley Thai This film doesn't need character developement and has very good action scenes. 4 stars
2/03/07 Vip Ebriega This remake is great to watch. 4 stars
1/23/07 Matt Lame,rushed,tooshort-and this time we don't give a shit who lives or dies. 2 stars
10/16/06 Mystique This movie really sucks; it's terribly cliché. You're better off renting "Titanic". 1 stars
10/13/06 Indrid Cold Suitably white-knuckle update of the original. 3 stars
10/07/06 Rhonda Heaslip In my opinion it was an awesome movie that kept me on the edge of my seat. I loved it! 5 stars
9/27/06 Anthony Feor I wish i had saw the origional before this, however it comes quite close to it 4 stars
9/03/06 Dragon The Artist A pretty good, ownable rehash of The Posiedon Adventure 4 stars
9/02/06 Danny Even without compairing it to 1972 classic, still merely average and pretty forgettable. 3 stars
8/29/06 David Hasslehof Not enough substance - could have been Titanic set in the modern era - Godzilla anyone? 3 stars
8/24/06 action movie fan sometimes exciting but you.ve seen it all before--ship is the only thing new 3 stars
8/06/06 Erik Van Sant It feels longer than 'Titanic', and is a collosal piece of ass. Hated every frame. 1 stars
7/24/06 malcolm thrilling but ultimately forgettable 3 stars
6/05/06 Jon With excellent suspense and action Poseidon makes the already good old one perfect! 5 stars
6/03/06 MickOZ Are you over 14? If so you have seen this type of shite countless times. 2 stars
6/03/06 MP Bartley Fun for the moment but entirely forgettable. Wavers between average and worth a look. 3 stars
5/29/06 inty speed 2 was better 1 stars
5/24/06 Navi this movie just plain sucks. Maybe add a few details about characters, and make an ending. 2 stars
5/22/06 Jeff Anderson Waterlogged to say the least & cruel. Cast & effects are far better than film deserves! 2 stars
5/19/06 Staci Typical blockbuster filled with thrills and chills galore. 4 stars
5/19/06 Mase Quick and painless, if you are looking for great visuals and no depth...enjoy 3 stars
5/18/06 michael not too bad and close to the first movie...now if they would just think up some new ideas 4 stars
5/18/06 Gavin Bamber If you've seen Titanic, you've seen it already 3 stars
5/18/06 JOHN PETERSON When I saw this about 29 years ago, it was mediocre at best. This tiime special effects is 3 stars
5/17/06 Astro Boye THis movie Sucked- Homopphobia and racial bias sink this ship! 1 stars
5/16/06 pipe 10 minutes of decent special effects and 1-1/2 hours of mind-numbing plot and dialog. Glug 1 stars
5/14/06 Ron Green The special effects were great! It makes the original poseidon look like a sailboat! 4 stars
5/13/06 Captain Highcrime Moved so fast...Wolfgang must have been double-parked outside the post house. 4 stars
5/13/06 Mike C. Finally a movie that lived up to its preview. It kicked ass! Very intense! 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  12-May-2006 (PG-13)
  DVD: 22-Aug-2006

UK
  02-Jun-2006

Australia
  01-Jun-2006




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