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Overall Rating
2.88

Awesome: 5.56%
Worth A Look30.09%
Average: 27.78%
Pretty Bad: 19.44%
Total Crap: 17.13%

13 reviews, 138 user ratings


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X-Men: The Last Stand
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Rob Gonsalves

"What's the cure for studio mediocrity? Not this movie, that's for sure."
2 stars

If "X-Men" were a TV series, "X-Men: The Last Stand" would be a hectic season finale. Unfortunately, there haven't been 21 hours of set-up before this finale, and a lot of fans and non-fans alike are going to feel there's a lot missing.

This third installment can't even be said to bite off more than it can chew; it gums it and lets it plop lazily onto the plate. The script pays shaky lip service to the comic book's celebrated "Phoenix Saga," though in name only. Jean Grey (Famke Janssen) is resurrected, and has Dark Powers, and is called Phoenix, but this is very much the multiplex version of Chris Claremont's premise. A medium capable of delivering sustained, complex narratives like Berlin Alexanderplatz should be equal to adapting a comic-book narrative. But there's a reason so many of us breathed a sigh of relief when the adaptation of Watchmen pointed its toes up.

Mainly, this is the Wolverine 'n' Magneto Show, and Hugh Jackman and Ian McKellen continue to bring their characters more gravitas than they deserve (as written). But even McKellen can't do much with the way Magneto vacillates so wildly in tone. Those who enjoyed the teasing father-daughter dynamic between Magneto and the funky Mystique (Rebecca Romijn) in the first two movies will feel as betrayed as Mystique when the old man turns his back on her in her greatest moment of vulnerability.

Magneto is concerned about "The Cure" ó not the '80s mope-rock band, but a genetic quick-fix for mutant powers. Professor X (Patrick Stewart) is concerned as well, but as usual he takes the path of scrupulous moderation, aided by human-mutant go-between Hank "Beast" McCoy (Kelsey Grammer). The script gestures feebly towards relevance ó some mutants, such as the untouchable Rogue (Anna Paquin), wouldn't mind being normal; others see it as an intolerable capitulation to the demands of the homo sapien herd. But all of this takes a back seat to the usual idiotic kabooms.

Famously, the previous X-director Bryan Singer was busy making us believe a man can fly again, so after a brief game of musical chairs, the keys to the kingdom were handed to non-entity Brett Ratner, who has no temperament or vision of his own but can passably ape the style of his betters. In Red Dragon (with considerable help from original production designer Kristi Zea) Ratner made a prequel that retrofitted comfortably with the look of The Silence of the Lambs, and here he fashions an X-Men movie that looks like the others but lacks the emotional and tactile heft Singer brought to them. It has no passion, no connection to where we are now, and in a series whose stories have heretofore spoken dark truths about American intolerance, that matters.

The rest of the mutants get ridiculously short shrift, most notably the new character Angel, who gets an emo self-cutting moment at the start but then retreats into irrelevance. Too many characters clutter this stew, diluting every possible conflict; indie It Girl of the moment Ellen Page is the third actress in the series to play the phasing Kitty Pryde, not that you'd notice from what she's given to do. (After this and King Kong, let's have a moritorium on poignant ice-rink scenes.) What's far worse, a major character dies offscreen, and though said character isn't really well-loved enough to create much outrage in the audience, the way he's simply blown off is insulting just the same. The movie is just too disconnected to be considered actively bad; it doesn't work hard enough for us to feel passionately about it either way.

More than ever, the theatrical release of a movie has come to seem like a formality before its true life on DVD. Nowhere has this seemed more true than in "X-Men: The Last Stand," whose inevitable longer "director's cut" on a 2-disc set may contain things like character development. What it won't contain is much of a reason to care.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=14574&reviewer=416
originally posted: 05/27/06 12:25:19
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User Comments

9/02/14 Dude where x-men went downhill 2 stars
7/31/14 uyfdxph USA 4 stars
1/18/12 Marc DC I liked it better than the 1st two 4 stars
6/15/11 My apples are rotting Worst of the series? Very probably 2 stars
10/17/10 Deek Windsome Wrong. The reviewer seems to think the film should be based on what he wanted. 5 stars
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7/03/09 the dork knight Wasted potential, too much focus on fucking Juno! (not enough thigh crushing either, Jean) 3 stars
6/25/09 tip massachusetts car insurance quote 3 stars
6/23/09 pennsylvania health insurance health care policy 4 stars
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6/04/09 auto insurance ratings buy car insurance online california 1 stars
5/21/09 Aaron Smith Just okay final chapter to X Trilogy. Good to see more Magneto, Colossus, Shadowcat 4 stars
4/30/09 matt criminally underrated 4 stars
3/21/09 visit tips 1 stars
3/09/09 JL Hunt Total disappointment. Destroyed the excellent work from X2 2 stars
1/05/09 living4christ OK, but < than 1st 2. Wish more chars were around for sequals 4 stars
12/01/08 the dork knight Too many goddamn characters. Still, not too terrible. 3 stars
11/24/08 Jason Get over it nerds. All I have to say is $459,256,008. Not bad for a horrible movie. 4 stars
11/23/08 MC And apparently Angel can fly from NY to Frisco just as fast as the X-Jet. 1 stars
11/23/08 Jin This is whaty happens when Jim Lee is not consulted: the story ruins the comic 2 stars
11/23/08 Remy Ramone David and the fanboys can get over that Dark Phoenix Saga took years and X3 2 hours. 4 stars
10/18/08 Pandapeep Awful, awful movie. No excuse. I am still upser I've ever wasted time watching this thing. 1 stars
8/18/08 jonathantstorm terrible film, just awfulll 1 stars
5/29/08 PAUL SHORTT DISPOSABLE ENTERTAINMENT THAT PASSES THE TIME 1 stars
9/25/07 Bitchflaps Worse than the first two, and I didn't even like the first two. Embarrassing. 2 stars
7/26/07 MaDmAN I agree with David Cornelius' review 100%. What a terrible way to end an great seriesli 2 stars
6/01/07 Likk Another pretty bad comic book film, will they ever stop making them? 2 stars
5/15/07 967 Poorly done. Where was Nightcrawler? 2 stars
4/28/07 s the reason that's why i have to watch x3 bec of shawn ashmore and ellen page.that's all... 3 stars
4/05/07 DL Poor 1 stars
3/23/07 David A bit dissapointing, but it is decent. 3 stars
3/21/07 man great movie 4 stars
2/14/07 The chode What a piece of smelly shit. 1 stars
2/13/07 johnnyfog ............What the fuck was that? 1 stars
12/23/06 Benjamin Butchered story, the horror of Hollywood. 2 stars
12/09/06 Indrid Cold As with the previous two, I was left vaguely disappointed. Many plot threads, but no depth. 3 stars
12/08/06 jill b absolutly my favorite movie of all times!!! loved it!!! 5 stars
11/18/06 Quigley just a special-effects showcase. bad sci-fi, bad plot, bad script...I missed Bryan Singer 2 stars
11/07/06 julian this movie was monkey balls no gambit,rogue,real sentinal fighting,bishop crap all the way 1 stars
10/29/06 Riley it was ok but i wish nightcrawler was in it 4 stars
10/21/06 comic book guy worst movie ever 1 stars
10/19/06 Henry X-Men 3 apesta, sin duda, la mejor de todas es X2 2 stars
10/17/06 David Worse than the other 2. 3 stars
10/12/06 Rich Pitoniak x-men 3 was very laughable i laughed the whole film, it sucked. 1 stars
10/11/06 jagnet I was very disappointed... good action but way off the real story behind x-men-1word Rogue 3 stars
10/04/06 Brett_Ratner_can_eat_a_bowl_of_d1cks Brett Ratner: the WORST DIRECTOR EVER! This guy made horse sh1t like Prison Break, Rush Hou 1 stars
10/02/06 Nick S. It got the job done, but the film feels rushed. Don't blame Ratner though. 4 stars
8/17/06 Pn. As with GOFATHER and Wacko Jacko nose jobs, should have stopped at two.. 3 stars
8/10/06 Dragon The Artist The "Phoenix" thing was a little dumb, but its good how they kept bringin' in mutants. 4 stars
8/06/06 Erik Van Sant Blasphemy on every level. All involved should be drawn and quartered. Sad end to series. 1 stars
7/30/06 Scotty It was ok as an action film, but I was very disappointed with how they treated the characte 3 stars
7/08/06 Necie This is a good film. X-Men means action for me!!! 5 stars
7/04/06 matt Some weak plot elements and less involving, otherwise great 4 stars
7/01/06 Gerry Irons Better than I expected- Lacks Brian Singers Polish- but delivers with action story-surprise 4 stars
6/25/06 P3NIS_CLEAVER its a comic book movie, lighten up! 4 stars
6/22/06 Mitch! Hey Doug, AC/DC and Aerosmith suck...and so does this movie. 2 stars
6/20/06 rob nero Phoenix was an entity that copied her, not a disorder! 3 stars
6/20/06 Jason Hyde It'd be better if they dropped the Phoenix stuff and focused on the cure stuff. 3 stars
6/18/06 alice Entertaining,for me the best one. 4 stars
6/18/06 MP Bartley Efficient closing chapter - but it does feel like a collection of deleted scenes from #2 3 stars
6/16/06 donald so sad to see the series turn to crap after such a promising second entry. 1 stars
6/14/06 burton miller good, but not as good as the first two 4 stars
6/13/06 raul valdez Jr good action, went by to fast none the less entertaining 4 stars
6/12/06 Diana it was okay, the action was good... 3 stars
6/11/06 Mase Still one of the best super hero franchises around, if obviously lacking in direction. 5 stars
6/10/06 ALDO if you enjoyed 1&2 its well worth viewing. Unexpected scenes made it enjoyable 4 stars
6/09/06 junaid well i think the biggest mistake is the killing of the main three characters 1 stars
6/08/06 Tyrone since when can you vaporize someone with telekenisis 1 stars
6/08/06 Lisa Jean Gray is definitely more exciting in this one!!! 4 stars
6/05/06 tim Cheap, corny, ridiculous, unemotional, anitclimatic. 1 stars
6/05/06 Illimantia A decent set-up, a superior sequel, and now a pile of dung! Sad... 1 stars
6/05/06 Alejandro Luna Even if you know nothing about this comic, you can identify it as a huge dissapointment 1 stars
6/04/06 ChumpyTheGreat Easily the worst of the three..a total mess. 1 stars
6/03/06 Con O'Brien Really enjoyed it - having seen the previous two. Particularly enjoyed sfx. 4 stars
6/03/06 Rowsdower A lot more flawed than the previous two, but it's still X-Men. Halle Berry, go home! 3 stars
6/03/06 Ricardo The best X-men film 5 stars
6/02/06 George Jung About as choppy as the first two - at least something happened in this one. 4 stars
6/02/06 Rocky Well...it was ALMOST a great trilogy... 1 stars
6/01/06 The Talking Elbow Seemed more concerned about making a buck, what a difference a director can make. 2 stars
6/01/06 Thoughtmachine Couln't have been worse if Van Damme played Wolverine. Sloppy and poorly constructed. 1 stars
6/01/06 MARVEL MADNESS This movie was absolutely without a doubt the worst movie i have ever seen in my life. 1 stars
6/01/06 Michelle & Ethan Absolutely disappointing and crappy! 1 stars
6/01/06 Koitus I actually thought that this was a good movie. Surprised at many of others' comments... 4 stars
6/01/06 panagiotis sucks and has no relation to the comic books, just a disappointment , THE DIRECTOR SUCKS 1 stars
5/31/06 malcolm about time they let Storm kick some ass, 1st X-movie is still the best of the series 3 stars
5/31/06 Obi Wan Jackman shines!! Easily best of 3, where was NightCrawler? 5 stars
5/31/06 sweetgrrl1972 *sigh* Why won't they pay for decent writers? Why?!! I'm so disappointed. 2 stars
5/31/06 Sean Brett Ratner ruined my Memorial Day Weekend. 1 stars
5/31/06 J-rd Iíve heard better dialogue between my three month old daughter and her stuffed bear. 3 stars
5/30/06 too-much-coffee mistress How does Halle Berry keep getting work? Oh yeah. Thanks, Oscar! 4 stars
5/30/06 Jeff The best of the three - most comic book like but still no Spiderman or Batman Begins! 4 stars
5/30/06 San Lamar coulda been better, but also coulda been worse 4 stars
5/30/06 sarrik76 As an action movie-good/As a comic book continuation- awful 3 stars
5/30/06 kandace I was okay 4 stars
5/29/06 Intelligent One Famke Janssen is hot but the rest of the movie sucks. 2 stars
5/29/06 Lord Jiggy Deeply, numbingly average. Worth a matinee, at best. Not worth a DVD. 2 stars
5/29/06 Cindy too many inacurate details for long time fans/readers 3 stars
5/29/06 Troy M. Grzych Not as good as 2 but really entertaining. It seems like they were trying to clean house. 4 stars
5/29/06 Elizabeth It was an absolute disaster. Ratner has no taste and no talent. 1 stars
5/29/06 bullit16 Not as good as the first two, but still a helluva ride 4 stars
5/29/06 Mr Bojangles The X-MEN series gets its RETURN OF THE JEDI... 2 stars
5/29/06 Ole Man Bourbon I just don't get this whole X-Men craze. All 3 sucked IMO. 2 stars
5/29/06 Adam Smith I was extremely let down. Mr. Ratner ruined the experience & a potentially great ending. 2 stars
5/28/06 Jim Why, Bryan, why did you leave us?! 3 stars
5/28/06 Anthony G IM THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH!!!!!!!!!! OWNED 5 stars
5/28/06 KB Oh what a letdown 2 stars
5/28/06 Nichole Great movie! 5 stars
5/28/06 Becky Berry annoying as always, most memorable moments were *not* emotional- meh at best. 3 stars
5/28/06 ad at least the actors are good 2 stars
5/27/06 Agent Sands Entertaining as a comic book adaptation typically gets. 4 stars
5/27/06 Stacy Too many "walking down hall and talking" scenes. It was all right. 3 stars
5/27/06 KingNeutron STAY FOR THE END CREDITS. Great summer movie, deals w/ some heavy issues. 4 stars
5/27/06 Dan Too short, too "punny" at the beginning, but otherwise a good movie. 4 stars
5/27/06 Pokejedservo Not as good as the first two... at first, though the finale more than made up for it. 5 stars
5/27/06 dredphul meh, wait for it on dvd unless you are a fan 3 stars
5/27/06 Eden Flawed, and not as good as the first 2. It all feels a little pointless 3 stars
5/27/06 BrianWilly Has several flaws, but generally awesome 5 stars
5/26/06 Sarah Im so dissapointed, I'm about to cry 2 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  26-May-2006 (PG-13)
  DVD: 03-Oct-2006

UK
  26-May-2006

Australia
  25-May-2006


Directed by
  Brett Ratner

Written by
  Simon Kinberg
  Zak Penn

Cast
  Hugh Jackman
  Halle Berry
  Ian McKellen
  Famke Janssen
  Anna Paquin
  Patrick Stewart



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