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Overall Rating
3.2

Awesome: 16.4%
Worth A Look31.22%
Average: 20.63%
Pretty Bad: 19.58%
Total Crap: 12.17%

14 reviews, 105 user ratings


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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
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by Smiles

"I pinned my hopes of a good blockbuster on this movie. Boy was I wrong."
2 stars

Summer is supposed to be for blockbusters. Nothing so far has earned that right in my book. Mission Impossible III felt like two Alias episodes in one. The Da Vinci Code was like reading the book on screen. X-Men III was missing Bryan Singer. Superman had Bryan Singer but it took too long to get to the point. So I pinned all my hopes and dreams of a good old-fashioned summer blockbuster on Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Manís Chest. And boy was I wrong.

Summer is supposed to be for blockbusters. Nothing so far has earned that right in my book. Mission Impossible III felt like two Alias episodes in one. The Da Vinci Code was like reading the book on screen. X-Men III was missing Bryan Singer. Superman had Bryan Singer but it took too long to get to the point. So I pinned all my hopes and dreams of a good old-fashioned summer blockbuster on Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Manís Chest.

And boy was I wrong.

Dead Manís Chest meets our three protagonists a bit where they left off. Captain Jack (Johnny Depp) is sailing on the seas in the Black Pearl. But his time on the ship is limited. Captian Jack bartered off his soul to Davy Jones of the Flying Dutchman. And now it is time to pay up.

Elizabeth Swann (Kiera Knightley) and Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) are about to get married. But Elizabeth and Willís wedding is cut short when they are arrested by Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander) for aiding and abetting a pirate, Captain Jack. In order to escape the death sentence this action carries Elizabeth and Will must find Captain Jack and relieve him of a magic compass that Lord Beckett desperately wants.

And so the convoluted story begins. Captain Jack tries to run away from Davy Jones. Will and Elizabeth (for some reason separately) set off after Captain Jack. And then 2 Ĺ hours of screen time go by with nothing really happening.

When Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl came out I was skeptical about a movie based on a Disney ride. But it was a fun carefree surprise. Dead Manís Chest is the exact opposite. Nothing ever gets going.

First there is the story. Or rather the lack of one. The characters run around for almost three hours and accomplish little. Oh there are nice little side trips. Captain Jack gets stranded on an island and worshiped as a god. The whole gang visits a voodoo priestess (Naomie Harris) for advice on how to escape Davy Jones. But in the end it is almost as if this movie is one large set up for the third installment coming next summer.

Well lack of story can be forgiven if parts are at least funny. But there is no saving grace in this either. The characters are bogged down by speeches of dialog written by Ted Elliot and Terry Rossio that are far from witty. Orlando Bloom is forced to constantly lament about his lost father. Kiera Knightley can only talk about the man she loves. And Johnny Depp staggers about looking bored with nothing remarkable to say. The excellent supporting characters of Bill Nighy as Davy Jones, Tom Hollander as Lord Becket and Jonathan Pryce as Elizabethís father are put to little use. Joke can be seen coming a mile away and by the time the punch line is delivered you forget to laugh.

Perhaps the places where director Gore Verbinski is on solid ground are the special effects and action sequences. Davy Jones and his crew are transformed by computer-generated images to look convincingly as if they are becoming part of the sea. So convincingly that a squeamish audience member may have to look away. Davy Jones has the head of an octopus and his crewmates are covered in barnacles, seaweed and the like. But the actor can still be seen underneath. The special effects enhance scenes and give them gravity they wouldnít have otherwise. The sea monster of Davy Jonesís, The Kraken is a sight to behold.

The action sequences are fun as well. This is a Jerry Bruckheimer film and lives up to that moniker. Kiera Knightley manages to tear the hell out of a bar. And watching Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, and Jack Davenport (as Commodore James Norrington) have a three-way sword fight while inside and on top of a giant wooden wheel is entertaining and would make a great amusement park ride. But it doesn't make a great plot.

Dead Manís Chest ends with a cliffhanger that pretty much guarantees everyone who sees it will third installment next summer. I will probably be one of them. If for no other reason to find a redeeming reason for why the second installment was made.

But in the end it is almost as if this movie is one large set up for the third installment coming next summer.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=14738&reviewer=383
originally posted: 07/21/06 03:08:27
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User Comments

2/24/09 Chris Whoever wrote the review at the top has no idea what they're talking about. 5 stars
1/21/09 Anonymous. the worst of the trilogy, disappointing. :/ 3 stars
1/15/09 Shaun Wallner Depp is a great actor. 5 stars
12/01/08 Roz Not as good as the first. Plot was an absolute mess. 3 stars
11/30/08 noops.... had grt expectations frm this but disappointed... 3 stars
10/13/08 PAUL SHORTT A PATCHY AND OVERLONG SEQUEL, BUT STILL FULL OF HUMOUR AND TOP NOTCH ACTION 3 stars
6/02/08 R.W. Welch Overdone, overbroad, and overlong. 2 stars
1/05/08 Pamela White vague plot but effects make it interesting 3 stars
8/13/07 Annonomiss 2nd film of trilogy was SO hokey and Disneyed up. Waste of film. 1 stars
6/17/07 Tiffany Losco awesome, loved it. Johnny depp great sexy 5 stars
5/31/07 Ionicera better than the reviews led me to believe 4 stars
5/24/07 Tracey Chambers good movie, but I was exhausted when it was over 3 stars
5/24/07 runes one way, way too many plotlines...even the dog got a plotline...wack!? 1 stars
5/17/07 carlie beautiful movie!!!! i love piratres of the caribbean !!!! and i have the book!!! super 5 stars
4/27/07 Sharlatan the 1st was wicked wtf happened the dog moment and cage swing ws only good bits nothtfunny 2 stars
4/18/07 Stevo UK Twice as long and half as good as the original. thank god that Mr Depp saves the day. 3 stars
1/19/07 movieman great movie 5 stars
1/11/07 NANCY YANG WAYYY...... MUCH BETTER THAN THE FIRSST ONE 5 stars
1/05/07 Watch This Movie! Very good, had just as much momentum as the first. Entertaining and fun. 5 stars
12/29/06 Samantha Fields I love pirates of the caribbean 1 & 2 , its funny and can be scary !!! 5 stars
12/27/06 Keelie liked it... ending couldve been better but i think it is much clearer now.... 4 stars
12/26/06 bullit16 Seriously? You're kidding, right? 2 stars
12/18/06 Thealizia The scene were they were were fighting on the wheel was over dramatic 2 stars
12/15/06 Charles Tatum On par with the original, Depp steals his scenes again 4 stars
12/08/06 Ron Better than the first 4 stars
12/06/06 Dude Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 5 stars
11/23/06 Austin Wertman BETTER THAN THE FIRST 5 stars
11/15/06 reena wful, just awful. arbitrary events dont make a good movie... 1 stars
11/14/06 gracie this was th best movie ever. you suck! 5 stars
10/25/06 Drew G Good sequel to a great movie 4 stars
10/17/06 David Very disappointing 2 stars
10/14/06 Helen Cannot be missed! Savvy? 5 stars
9/28/06 ES A movie worse than the first one, now that's quite a feat 1 stars
9/26/06 Kayla I love this movie so much! The first one was better but even that one had its ups and downs 5 stars
9/22/06 JohnnyFaye I love reading peoples far fetched "I hate" reasons for this movie...haha It's a sweetmovie 5 stars
9/21/06 Pritchett The first one sucked and so does this one. 1 stars
9/17/06 ad lengthy 3 stars
9/14/06 Mara Frost Once again, Johnny Depp is great! Also fun stunts and creature makeup. 5 stars
9/13/06 Agent Sands A disappointment, with perhaps 2 entertaining scenes. 3 stars
9/07/06 bosh not really 2 stars
9/04/06 Ricardo very entertaining 5 stars
9/03/06 Christopher Stucky Didn't expect much, but really liked it... just like the first one. 4 stars
9/02/06 van zwaar ...yarr 2 stars
8/24/06 Chad Thomas Johnny Depp is great! 4 stars
8/22/06 G Sherfy Projector died at the end of the movie; I wasn't disappointed to miss the last 5 minutes. 3 stars
8/13/06 George This is movie is kinda lame 3 stars
8/07/06 Vincent Costa Entertaining 3 stars
8/06/06 Erik Van Sant 15 Minutes in and I was wishing I was watching 'Superman Returns' again. Flaccid follow-up. 2 stars
8/05/06 TiGrBaLm Fast paced, action packed, John Sparrow ROCKS 4 stars
8/04/06 sulman mahmood good 4 stars
8/03/06 Sarah W totally awesome johnny depp was great!!!!! 5 stars
8/03/06 Mike V Too long but a lot of fun....It's Depp...enough said. 4 stars
8/02/06 Mase IF you liked the first you will probably like this, if not tedious and boring. 2 stars
7/30/06 ls All the things that made part 1 good are missing. Part 3 is gonna get downloaded 2 stars
7/29/06 Troy M. Grzych Action sequences were too long and drawn out. Visuals were cool. Movie slow. 4 stars
7/29/06 ahnold All visual. No plot. Nothing compelling. What's happened in hollywood? 1 stars
7/28/06 dj way too long!!! And there is no ending!! 2 stars
7/26/06 Quigley an awesome sequel that has some problems, but I ain't complaining. Depp is the man; see it 5 stars
7/25/06 jess Totally awesome! 5 stars
7/25/06 pin transition film, loose and disappointing. Will still see III 3 stars
7/24/06 Joyce Verhoeven For everyone whom has not seen this movie, watch it, because this movie is super 5 stars
7/24/06 malcolm near perfect blend of action/comedy, but really just half a movie 4 stars
7/23/06 Koitus Keira looked great; hard to understand Voodoo woman; suspicious ending! 3 stars
7/22/06 Agent Sands The 2 action sequences on islands were the only good parts of the movie. 3 stars
7/21/06 michaelb1478 a little overlong but still a fun movie 4 stars
7/21/06 Elizabeth S Some clever humorous action, but needs a major edit. 3 stars
7/20/06 ahnold Just another movie w/2 much action and no compelling plot 2 stars
7/20/06 Butt No treasure in this chest 2 stars
7/20/06 Suzz too long; heavy on special effects; lite on with; not enough Depp 3 stars
7/19/06 Ashley It's totally awesome!!! Cannot wait for the 3rd. I love Johnny Depp! 5 stars
7/18/06 Ole Man Bourbon A lot better than I was expecting. Forgettable, but entertaining. 4 stars
7/16/06 Jim Almost as good as the original 4 stars
7/15/06 Evil Wolfie Slightly less good then the first. 4 stars
7/15/06 MP Bartley Overstuffed, disjointed and silly, but still a giddily fun time. 4 stars
7/15/06 robo it does suck quite badly 2 stars
7/14/06 Somebody people who give it less than 5 stars are just too picky! 5 stars
7/14/06 Stanley Thai Better than the first but it's just too long. 4 stars
7/14/06 Nightjorn PIRATES OF THE CRAP-A-BEAN: THE WRATH OF CTHULHU!!!!! 1 stars
7/13/06 inty utter crap 1 stars
7/13/06 EZ I can't wait for the third one!! 5 stars
7/13/06 Agent Sands Way too long, disorganized, too many dead animals. Only 2 good scenes in the whole movie. 3 stars
7/13/06 Dan great movie to see 5 stars
7/13/06 Captain Highcrime Found myself wanting to hear the "Benny Hill" theme during some of sillier set-pieces 3 stars
7/12/06 Vicious Fun over-all, but it seemed to lack focus. 4 stars
7/12/06 JM Synth Some outstanding set-pieces, but Verbinski is yet another director who lacks restraint 3 stars
7/11/06 Roy I loved the first half but then I got bored 3 stars
7/11/06 Kent S Did I see the same film? I'm sorry but I'm frustrated and angry at the "end" of this movie 2 stars
7/11/06 hooplah could have used about 20 minutes of trimming and it'd be about perfect 4 stars
7/11/06 Kaitlin Reynolds I thought it was very long, confusing and hard to keep up with. 3 stars
7/11/06 Mike Fairly boring, way too long. Blah 2 stars
7/11/06 Jean Smolen The sequel was butt numbingly boring! 1 stars
7/10/06 NoRefill Way too long. Needs about an hour cut. Watching the original again might make it funnier. 3 stars
7/10/06 Richard Green Frequently tiresome, not all that funny. 3 stars
7/10/06 Doug Eh. 3 stars
7/10/06 John Doesn't have legs to stand on it's own. 2 stars
7/10/06 Bob No plot, not funny, and about two hours too long 1 stars
7/09/06 Steve-O An over-cooked 2.5 hour setup for what will hopefully be a much more exciting third movie 3 stars
7/09/06 sully needs about1 hour of editing, Johnny Depp 4 stars 4 stars
7/09/06 Mo Better than the first one 5 stars
7/08/06 Jon Gets pretty repetitive an dull 1 stars
7/08/06 Roy Started off great but then I got bored 3 stars
7/08/06 KingNeutron Only movie this year I'll see more than once. STAY4CREDITS 4 stars
7/08/06 Jambi I still can't believe people actually liked the first pile of mediocrity. 2 stars
7/08/06 Gerry Irons Very Silly 2 stars
7/07/06 asina started out weak, but REALLY picked up by the end. 4 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  07-Jul-2006 (PG-13)
  DVD: 05-Dec-2006

UK
  06-Jul-2006 (12A)

Australia
  06-Jul-2006 (M)



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