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Overall Rating
3.28

Awesome28.48%
Worth A Look: 25.95%
Average: 10.76%
Pretty Bad: 14.56%
Total Crap: 20.25%

14 reviews, 74 user ratings


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Snakes on a Plane
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by Lybarger

"It’s a little better than ‘Anaconda.’"
3 stars

A few months ago, my fellow HBS monkey Uri Lessing played me an audio clip from one of the countless fan-produced “Snakes on a Plane” parodies that are swarming through the internet like Nigerian financial proposals. As I was cackling with delight, I told Uri that the actual movie would have a hard time trying to be just as entertaining. I was right.

The actual movie has moments of inspired tackiness but not nearly enough to merit its one hour and 45-minute running time. A few sound bites of Samuel L. Jackson (or a low rent imitator) cursing his lungs out sounds hysterically funny in a five-minute QuickTime clip, but it gets old in a feature.

The enthusiasm that Jackson has demonstrated for the film in talk shows seems genuine, and his considerable charm and his unique mastery of a putdown make the film easier to endure. But for “Snakes on a Plane” to work, the antagonists (in this case the title characters) have to give Jackson a run for his money.

They don’t.

Many in the menagerie on this flight from Honolulu to Los Angeles look as if they were close relatives to the computer-generated snake in “Anaconda.” It’s easy to forgive corny lines and gaps in logic (this is about reptiles in flight for crying out loud), but nobody should have to pay hard earned bucks for images that could have been created on an X-Box.

There’s no need to summarize the plot too deeply. The title does that for us. Basically, Jackson plays an FBI agent named Neville Flynn who’s escorting a surfer dude named Shawn (Nathan Phillips). The latter has witnessed a Triad gangster named Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson) merciless beat a prosecutor to death.

Eddie’s had his minions load a time released box full of dozens of snakes in order to make sure Flynn and Shawn don’t make it to LA.

Under the bland direction of David R. Ellis (the auteur who gave us “Cellular” and “Final Destination 2”), “Snakes on a Plane” slithers listlessly for 20 minutes until the reptiles finally make their first appearance.

Once the reptiles are set free, there’s a sense of unearned glee as they attack household pets in the hold and drop from overhead compartments.

Occasionally, the snakes act like the serial killers in slasher movies, biting anyone who’s foolish enough to engage in sinful behavior.

As with “Poseidon” and other disaster flicks, you can try to guess who will be come snake bait first, but the fun is somewhat blunted by the fact that you can easily guess who will be joining the Mile High Snake Bite Club.

With half an hour to go, screenwriters John Hefferman, Sebastian Gutierrez and David Dalessandro run out of far-fetched ways to rack up fatalities. The raunchiest sequences are clearly inspired by the wishes of bloggers who waited with baited breath for “Snakes on a Plane” to hit theaters, and admittedly, the vulgar, tacky stuff is the most fun.

Originally, intended for a PG-13 rating, Ellis and his crew tarted the movie up when it became obvious fans would be upset if Jackson didn’t yell his favorite synonym for incest.

Most of “Snakes on a Plane” is still played straight, and when the tone can’t match the outlandishness of the plot, it loses its venom quickly.

The best way to enjoy “Snakes on a Plane” is by patrolling the copious sites made by fans or using the official site (www.snakesonaplane.com) to send Samuel L. Jackson phone calls to friends. It’s a shame the folks in Hollywood didn’t outsource more of the final “Snakes on a Plane” to the bloggers who had a better sense of the story’s potential than the professional filmmakers did.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=15043&reviewer=382
originally posted: 08/18/06 16:27:27
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User Comments

7/10/11 Dr.Lao FIlm makers showing their honest contempt for their audience 1 stars
7/10/11 Jennifer Barr alright, although it just seemed so predictible thru out 3 stars
12/26/10 Blue Shark Dude ... The people who don't get it are Republicans anyway ... so no loss. 5 stars
6/01/10 User Name Snakes On A Plane aims low, and hits lower. 2 stars
10/25/09 Miss Snake The best fun a movie could offer. The fake looking CGI snakes are hysterically funny. 4 stars
7/25/09 Jeff Wilder Works better if you view it as a comedy rather than as a thriller. 3 stars
11/20/08 PAUL SHORTT EVEN IF VIEWED ENTIRELY ON ITS OWN TERMS, THIS FILM, LIKE ANY SNAKE, TAPERS AT ITS END 2 stars
3/07/08 SamanthaPayntr it definitely delivered, there were snakes and they were on a plane, pretty good stuff 3 stars
7/27/07 TreeTiger A piece of cinematic shit - I recommend... Anything BUT this... 1 stars
7/11/07 Tiffany Losco I thought it was ok, but I didn't like the blonde bimbo in the bathroom 2 stars
4/02/07 CAB I was expecting Leslie Nielsen to show up at any minute… 2 stars
3/29/07 Your mom Assholes, this movie is the worst shit ever.STUPID. ASS. HOLES. 1 stars
2/27/07 Asian God 94 The BEST B-grade horror movie of all time! Compulsary Viewing 5 stars
2/19/07 JM Synth No where near as fun, or silly, as it should have been 3 stars
2/14/07 Prada it was sooo.. bad it was actually good 3 stars
2/05/07 MickT Samuel L. Jackson is the biggest sell-out EVER!! what a piece of shit this film is!!! 1 stars
2/03/07 Indrid Cold Upside: it's as exciting as a snakes/planes movie could possibly be. Downside: ditto. 3 stars
2/02/07 Anthony Feor People expect us to take this movie seriously? 0.5/5 1 stars
1/22/07 Matt It should be clasified as COMEDY 5 stars
1/19/07 Jeff Brown pitiful 1 stars
1/14/07 Sugarfoot It felt like an Airport sequel. Overall not as fun as I thought it would be. 2 stars
1/09/07 Matt Get a life, have a laugh - this is FUN,FUN,FUN! 4 stars
12/10/06 JoKimiKo the movie is AwsOme but ur REviEw! is craP 1 stars
11/18/06 Lerker You are the worst reveiwer. Ever. 1 stars
11/17/06 Nick So, you gave Borat 1 Star, but SOAP 5 Stars? I do not comprehend your thought process. 3 stars
11/11/06 Serge Piece of crap IMO. Snakes on crack...har har. 2 stars
10/28/06 DIANA a movie to watch on tv if nothing else to watch 2 stars
10/25/06 Drew G So bad it was good... 3 stars
10/13/06 Erin Get out of the mud u sticks, it was great fun!!! 4 stars
10/09/06 Mike Nothing great to me. Something to watch if really bored. 2 stars
9/30/06 NiCk Great movie! Was Pulp Fiction good because of its plot? 5 stars
9/21/06 malcolm awful, but a lot of damn fun 3 stars
9/13/06 Edward Connell A purposefull movie that will lead you on an adventure in excitement and possibility. 4 stars
9/12/06 Louise Good fun and a pretty tense ride!!! 4 stars
9/12/06 Michael Coovert Samuel Jackson's stock just plumeted in my book!! Total schtick and effects fodder!!! 1 stars
9/12/06 Kevin Ramsay "Snakes On A Plane" is pure fun. Don't take it too seriously, though. 5 stars
9/11/06 Aaron This move was a blast! 4 stars
9/03/06 Christopher Stucky The hype WAS the story. The movie was an afterthought. 1 stars
9/02/06 Stubby If you all were any stupider, you'd have to be told when to breathe. Kill yourselves. 1 stars
8/31/06 Christine it was soooooo awesome I want to see it over and over again 5 stars
8/28/06 Serina Boccello COME ON!! who honestly wants to see THIS movie!! SNAKES AGGHHH!!! 2 stars
8/28/06 Grant Funny, well acted, stupid jokes, scenes and endless funny deaths. 5 stars
8/27/06 Alan Snakes on a Plane happens 5 stars
8/26/06 Mike D Only movie I've seen in this year that got a standing ovation from the entire theater! 5 stars
8/26/06 michael average and wait for the DVD 4 stars
8/26/06 Stanley Thai Still an average thriller without the famous title. Nothing special. 3 stars
8/26/06 Alex Thorne does exactly what it says on the tin. gruesomly marvellous 4 stars
8/25/06 Robert Blanton Mr. Souter nailed this snake right on the head! 2 stars
8/25/06 Zaw Snakes bites.. lol 5 stars
8/24/06 philip Corcos corcos 5 stars
8/23/06 Centipedes "Snakes? On MY plane?" It's more likely than you think. 5 stars
8/23/06 Quigley much more violent than I thought; sex scene pointless; but Sam Jackson and the snakes rock 4 stars
8/22/06 A. Shah The best time I've had in a movie since I was a kid. I'm now 33. 5 stars
8/22/06 Pn. 1000 fanboys collaborated on the script. That it's schwag should surpise no one. 2 stars
8/22/06 danthewrestlingman Snakes On A Motherfuckin Plane Beeoch Nuff Said 5 stars
8/22/06 Ole Man Bourbon Not enough snakes. JIMMIE BELLE TURN OFF YOUR GODDAMN CAPS LOCK. 3 stars
8/22/06 JIMMIE BELLE REALISM. CAN THIS SCENE REALLY TAKE PLACE? WILL EVERYONE ON THE PLANE BEHAVE LIKE THIS? 5 stars
8/22/06 Sammy J. This movie is the most balla shit eva! 5 stars
8/22/06 Harold You are all tools. 1 stars
8/21/06 Captain Highcrime Not since the glory days of "Married...with Children" have audiences been so boisterous. 5 stars
8/21/06 Jeff Martin Awesome movie, great fun and entertainment, brianorndorf is full of crap in his review 5 stars
8/20/06 ajay go in a packed theatre of nerds who "get it". Otherwise, it's horrible. 4 stars
8/20/06 ray best time i've had at the movies in years. great cinema? maybe not. still fun. 5 stars
8/19/06 Alex S AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME 5 stars
8/19/06 Nads Snakes on a muthafuckin' PLANE! 5 stars
8/19/06 KingNeutron Decent; some really scary parts. Take S.O. to see it. 4 stars
8/19/06 Jesus WAAAY better than expected... ridiculous, stupid, and amazing! 1 stars
8/19/06 Keith This movie was boring. What is up with Snakes on a plane who cares. A total waste of money. 1 stars
8/19/06 Kent Battersby Best. Movie. Ever...SNAKE VISION!!! 5 stars
8/19/06 Adrian It's fun. It's that simple. No thinking, no shit liek that, just fun. 5 stars
8/18/06 Joe Baldwin The audience makes all the difference. Laughter and applause filled the room for 2 hours. 5 stars
8/18/06 Andrew The most fun I've had in a theatre... EVER. 5 stars
8/18/06 Doug Higley Absolute BEST B Horror Ever. Total Fun at breakneck pacing. 5 stars
8/18/06 Squibner Welch Fantastic fun 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  18-Aug-2006 (R)
  DVD: 02-Jan-2007

UK
  18-Aug-2006

Australia
  24-Aug-2006




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