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Overall Rating
3.26

Awesome28.3%
Worth A Look: 25.79%
Average: 10.69%
Pretty Bad: 14.47%
Total Crap: 20.75%

14 reviews, 75 user ratings


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Snakes on a Plane
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by William Goss

"Quite The Hissy Fit"
4 stars

Reading this after, say, Sunday, August 20th, 2006? Welcome to a time capsule concerning the pop-culture juggernaut known as 'Snakes on a Plane.' Prior to then? Time is ticking away for those eager on the notion to absorb it as they should, accompanied by an equally willing and/or rowdy crowd, and while it may be a limited time offer, it is much more likely to make for tons of fun in a summer movie season terribly devoid of it.

Hey, you there! Under that rock! You really haven’t the foggiest notion of what SOAP is actually about? Sigh. Well, after a young surfer (Wolf Creek’s Nathan Phillips) witnesses a murder at the hands of an infamous gangster, he is swiftly escorted by FBI agent Neville Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson) aboard a flight from Honolulu to Los Angeles. However, since said criminal isn’t too keen on the idea of the witness’ pending testimony, he does what anyone would do in such circumstances: he loads a variety of venomous serpents into the cargo hold, whose eventual escape leads to midair mayhem and the like.

However, the film arrives after becoming the subject of snowballing online fandom, whose ravenous interest and support led to unprecedented reshoots in an effort to beef up the film’s rating from a wimpy PG-13 to a righteously kickass R, including a legendary line spoken by Sir Sam himself concerning his motherfuckin’ opinion of the motherfuckin’ situation. Although the additional footage isn’t too hard to spot – the gratuitous nudity is dispensed in one fell swoop, while the frequent scenes involving Flynn’s man on the ground (Bobby Cannavale) feel more and more like irritatingly necessary interruptions – some of the gorier dispatches make it difficult to imagine what a defanged version might have turned out like.

Still, although the final product could stand to be a bit more polished, the recipe for reptiles in the aisles is one not easily botched, and director David R. Ellis (Cellular, Final Destination 2) pretty much satisfies in the expected manner, encouraging a lively level of exhilaration that isn’t directly dictated, but is certainly supported, by one’s predetermined interest and assumed compliance with the circumstances. The bits may be choppily assembled, but the simple act of buying a ticket and taking a seat displays a cutting of slack that perhaps comes across as a more significant gesture with this movie than it would with most other fare.

To paraphrase Agent Flynn, enough is indeed enough, as one would be pressed to determine what else exactly one could want in such a motion picture. The characters’ deaths and defenses are moderately creative, although to be any more specific might rob the flick of certain modest charms, yet the story takes too long to get off the ground and even hits a dead patch or two despite the creatures being let loose on the titular aircraft. The predominantly CGI effects are adequate, although showcasing practical snake stunts wouldn’t have hurt matters, and the tone is some shade of serious without being too flagrant on the cheese, camp, or pretense fronts. Of course, it doesn’t hurt matters that Jackson does what he does best: playing the badass authority figure. The precise weight he lends to the proceedings is what ultimately makes it take flight; with any other lead in his place, you’d have to live under a rock just to have heard of this flick.

Every other character is painted in broad strokes: the two female flight attendants (the stern Julianna Marguiles is paired with Jackson, as are their younger counterparts, the flirty Sunny Mabrey and the ever-bland Phillips), the swishy male attendant, the borderline-chauvinistic pilot (David Koechner), the germ-fearing rap mogul and his bodyguards (Kenan Thompson and Keith Dallas), the chihuahua-toting bimbo (Rachel Blanchard), the single mother, the pair of unaccompanied children, and so on. Unless my Poseidon review didn’t give you the slightest hint, I don’t care for endangering kids in movies as a means of lazy manipulation in place of genuine suspense, and although this is an all-out R on most other fronts, the filmmakers are still too pussy to dispose of a child (hell, there’s three to choose from) in a clearly fictional story. If it’s any comfort, such standards apply only to the lil’ kiddies and not to the other animals aboard…

The value of SOAP is fated to depreciate over the course of the coming days, weeks, months, and years, lingering on as a pop-culture curiosity with a residual fan following practically guaranteed. However, at the moment, it is quite the testament to disposable entertainment, especially in a year that seems to be sorely lacking in such a thing as good old fun. Audiences would rarely be so desperate (or is it deserving?) of something so shamelessly silly, yet the fluke proves to be alternately foolish yet foolproof, in almost equal measure. Those still unimpressed by the scenario are pretty unlikely to be suddenly psyched, regardless of screen size or audience atmosphere. For everyone else, it arguably makes for the best feature-length punchline since The Aristocrats.

It is nigh impossible to consider the film on cinematic merit alone, but as a merely derivative B-movie that has transformed, nay, evolved into a grade-A communal experience, I can only testify for my rather rambunctious contemporaries in Auditorium #10 of the Regal Winter Park Village 20 multiplex in Winter Park, Florida, USA at 10 PM on Thursday, August 17th, 2006. Missed out? Well, it would behoove you to make haste, because no matter how entertaining it may be, I fear that this 'Plane' ultimately has nowhere to go but down. Until then, enjoy the ride while it lasts. It could be a while before the next one comes around.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=15043&reviewer=409
originally posted: 08/18/06 20:41:48
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User Comments

6/22/15 David Hollingsworth I wouldn't even recommend this for dogs. 1 stars
7/10/11 Dr.Lao FIlm makers showing their honest contempt for their audience 1 stars
7/10/11 Jennifer Barr alright, although it just seemed so predictible thru out 3 stars
12/26/10 Blue Shark Dude ... The people who don't get it are Republicans anyway ... so no loss. 5 stars
6/01/10 User Name Snakes On A Plane aims low, and hits lower. 2 stars
10/25/09 Miss Snake The best fun a movie could offer. The fake looking CGI snakes are hysterically funny. 4 stars
7/25/09 Jeff Wilder Works better if you view it as a comedy rather than as a thriller. 3 stars
11/20/08 PAUL SHORTT EVEN IF VIEWED ENTIRELY ON ITS OWN TERMS, THIS FILM, LIKE ANY SNAKE, TAPERS AT ITS END 2 stars
3/07/08 SamanthaPayntr it definitely delivered, there were snakes and they were on a plane, pretty good stuff 3 stars
7/27/07 TreeTiger A piece of cinematic shit - I recommend... Anything BUT this... 1 stars
7/11/07 Tiffany Losco I thought it was ok, but I didn't like the blonde bimbo in the bathroom 2 stars
4/02/07 CAB I was expecting Leslie Nielsen to show up at any minute… 2 stars
3/29/07 Your mom Assholes, this movie is the worst shit ever.STUPID. ASS. HOLES. 1 stars
2/27/07 Asian God 94 The BEST B-grade horror movie of all time! Compulsary Viewing 5 stars
2/19/07 JM Synth No where near as fun, or silly, as it should have been 3 stars
2/14/07 Prada it was sooo.. bad it was actually good 3 stars
2/05/07 MickT Samuel L. Jackson is the biggest sell-out EVER!! what a piece of shit this film is!!! 1 stars
2/03/07 Indrid Cold Upside: it's as exciting as a snakes/planes movie could possibly be. Downside: ditto. 3 stars
2/02/07 Anthony Feor People expect us to take this movie seriously? 0.5/5 1 stars
1/22/07 Matt It should be clasified as COMEDY 5 stars
1/19/07 Jeff Brown pitiful 1 stars
1/14/07 Sugarfoot It felt like an Airport sequel. Overall not as fun as I thought it would be. 2 stars
1/09/07 Matt Get a life, have a laugh - this is FUN,FUN,FUN! 4 stars
12/10/06 JoKimiKo the movie is AwsOme but ur REviEw! is craP 1 stars
11/18/06 Lerker You are the worst reveiwer. Ever. 1 stars
11/17/06 Nick So, you gave Borat 1 Star, but SOAP 5 Stars? I do not comprehend your thought process. 3 stars
11/11/06 Serge Piece of crap IMO. Snakes on crack...har har. 2 stars
10/28/06 DIANA a movie to watch on tv if nothing else to watch 2 stars
10/25/06 Drew G So bad it was good... 3 stars
10/13/06 Erin Get out of the mud u sticks, it was great fun!!! 4 stars
10/09/06 Mike Nothing great to me. Something to watch if really bored. 2 stars
9/30/06 NiCk Great movie! Was Pulp Fiction good because of its plot? 5 stars
9/21/06 malcolm awful, but a lot of damn fun 3 stars
9/13/06 Edward Connell A purposefull movie that will lead you on an adventure in excitement and possibility. 4 stars
9/12/06 Louise Good fun and a pretty tense ride!!! 4 stars
9/12/06 Michael Coovert Samuel Jackson's stock just plumeted in my book!! Total schtick and effects fodder!!! 1 stars
9/12/06 Kevin Ramsay "Snakes On A Plane" is pure fun. Don't take it too seriously, though. 5 stars
9/11/06 Aaron This move was a blast! 4 stars
9/03/06 Christopher Stucky The hype WAS the story. The movie was an afterthought. 1 stars
9/02/06 Stubby If you all were any stupider, you'd have to be told when to breathe. Kill yourselves. 1 stars
8/31/06 Christine it was soooooo awesome I want to see it over and over again 5 stars
8/28/06 Serina Boccello COME ON!! who honestly wants to see THIS movie!! SNAKES AGGHHH!!! 2 stars
8/28/06 Grant Funny, well acted, stupid jokes, scenes and endless funny deaths. 5 stars
8/27/06 Alan Snakes on a Plane happens 5 stars
8/26/06 Mike D Only movie I've seen in this year that got a standing ovation from the entire theater! 5 stars
8/26/06 michael average and wait for the DVD 4 stars
8/26/06 Stanley Thai Still an average thriller without the famous title. Nothing special. 3 stars
8/26/06 Alex Thorne does exactly what it says on the tin. gruesomly marvellous 4 stars
8/25/06 Robert Blanton Mr. Souter nailed this snake right on the head! 2 stars
8/25/06 Zaw Snakes bites.. lol 5 stars
8/24/06 philip Corcos corcos 5 stars
8/23/06 Centipedes "Snakes? On MY plane?" It's more likely than you think. 5 stars
8/23/06 Quigley much more violent than I thought; sex scene pointless; but Sam Jackson and the snakes rock 4 stars
8/22/06 A. Shah The best time I've had in a movie since I was a kid. I'm now 33. 5 stars
8/22/06 Pn. 1000 fanboys collaborated on the script. That it's schwag should surpise no one. 2 stars
8/22/06 danthewrestlingman Snakes On A Motherfuckin Plane Beeoch Nuff Said 5 stars
8/22/06 Ole Man Bourbon Not enough snakes. JIMMIE BELLE TURN OFF YOUR GODDAMN CAPS LOCK. 3 stars
8/22/06 JIMMIE BELLE REALISM. CAN THIS SCENE REALLY TAKE PLACE? WILL EVERYONE ON THE PLANE BEHAVE LIKE THIS? 5 stars
8/22/06 Sammy J. This movie is the most balla shit eva! 5 stars
8/22/06 Harold You are all tools. 1 stars
8/21/06 Captain Highcrime Not since the glory days of "Married...with Children" have audiences been so boisterous. 5 stars
8/21/06 Jeff Martin Awesome movie, great fun and entertainment, brianorndorf is full of crap in his review 5 stars
8/20/06 ajay go in a packed theatre of nerds who "get it". Otherwise, it's horrible. 4 stars
8/20/06 ray best time i've had at the movies in years. great cinema? maybe not. still fun. 5 stars
8/19/06 Alex S AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME 5 stars
8/19/06 Nads Snakes on a muthafuckin' PLANE! 5 stars
8/19/06 KingNeutron Decent; some really scary parts. Take S.O. to see it. 4 stars
8/19/06 Jesus WAAAY better than expected... ridiculous, stupid, and amazing! 1 stars
8/19/06 Keith This movie was boring. What is up with Snakes on a plane who cares. A total waste of money. 1 stars
8/19/06 Kent Battersby Best. Movie. Ever...SNAKE VISION!!! 5 stars
8/19/06 Adrian It's fun. It's that simple. No thinking, no shit liek that, just fun. 5 stars
8/18/06 Joe Baldwin The audience makes all the difference. Laughter and applause filled the room for 2 hours. 5 stars
8/18/06 Andrew The most fun I've had in a theatre... EVER. 5 stars
8/18/06 Doug Higley Absolute BEST B Horror Ever. Total Fun at breakneck pacing. 5 stars
8/18/06 Squibner Welch Fantastic fun 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  18-Aug-2006 (R)
  DVD: 02-Jan-2007

UK
  18-Aug-2006

Australia
  24-Aug-2006




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