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Overall Rating
3.26

Awesome: 20%
Worth A Look43.08%
Average: 1.54%
Pretty Bad: 13.85%
Total Crap: 21.54%

5 reviews, 35 user ratings


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Crank
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by Scott Weinberg

"For moviegoers who found "Running Scared" a little too sedate."
4 stars

The Jason Statham action flick "Crank" opens with a nifty concept (borrowed and time-compressed from the classic noir "D.O.A."), quickly realizes what a silly concept it is, and then spends the next 70-ish minutes trying to dazzle you with its outlandish behavior. And, hey waddaya know, a good portion of it works.

Bald and ever-glowering, Jason Statham is quietly becoming one of semi-Hollywood's most reliable action stars. With a minimum of syllables and a maximum of attitude, the guy saunters through his Transporter flicks with just the slightest piece of tongue-in-cheekiness, but he's also not a guy you'd want to laugh at. Jason Statham can knock your head in with only a glare, and I think the guy's a whole lot cooler than your Vin Diesels or whoever else is vying for the title of New Action King.

So it's a good thing that Crank has Statham on board, because the flick is all kinds of over-the-top nutty and self-referentially offbeat. With a less commanding actor in the lead role, the thing would quickly devolve into a cinematic migraine. Crank is still kind of a headache, but it's an energetic, enthusiastic and brief one, too.

Infamous hit man Chev Chelios has awakened in a stunningly groggy state, and a mysterious DVD informs him that he's got about an hour to live. His impending demise comes courtesy of a vicious gang of young mafia hoods -- and obviously a little thing like cardiac arrest is not going to keep Chev from exacting a big bucket of revenge from his killers.

With the help of a rather untraditional doctor, Chev makes a realization: As long as he keeps his adrenaline flowing freely, he should be able to remain sentient long enough to track his enemies down and insert numerous bullets into their body parts. Ah, but there's also the matter of a duplicitous kingpin, a devoted girlfriend, and dozens of L.A. cops who simply want to know what's up with the lunatic who's roaming the streets, crashing cars, plugging punks, and causing a whole lot of property damage.

Basically, if you've ever wished for a feature-length action scene, go see Crank. It's a joyously brutal and outlandishly violent movie -- plus it features one of the most bizarrely amusing sex scenes you ever will see. The flick's got shocks, jolts, twists, and turns ... and if you find yourself yelling "Oh, come ON!" during the first act, you should probably just get up and leave right then, because Crank gets a whole lot loopier as the movie unspools.

First-time directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor approach Crank like they're auditioning for Grand Theft Auto: The Movie: The violence is frequent and cartoonishly harsh, the anti-PC deluge of nastiness and profanity punches the clock as if it's getting time and a half, and the flick is laden with all sorts of Xbox-y edits, wipes, tricks and visual gimmicks. Call it stupid if you like (and it kinda is), but Crank sure as hell isn't boring.

By the time the 80-minute adventure winds down with a finale that'd make the Road Runner meep with pride, "Crank" does a pretty good job of winning its intended audience over. My half-packed screening saw at least a dozen walk-outs ... all of whom were most certainly over the age of 45. The younger (and younger-at-heart) action geeks stuck around to cheer Chev's final adventure, and trust me when I say they had a pretty damn good time with this piece of certifiably insane mayhem.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=15155&reviewer=128
originally posted: 09/02/06 08:21:36
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User Comments

10/14/17 danR hate/love movie, the ratings show; proof this crackhead piece of genius hit nerves. 5 stars
3/03/11 chris c Crazy, profane and violent- a near trip back into 80's action 4 stars
2/20/11 Ark Awesome fun! Him on the motorbike and with gf in public was great! 4 stars
5/02/10 PAUL SHORTT GORE-DRENCHED, HIGH-OCTANE ACTION THRILLER 2 stars
9/07/09 Dave utter utter crap 1 stars
2/16/09 Adrian AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 5 stars
12/10/08 matt a very entertaining thrill ride, with a surprising amount of substance. 4 stars
9/10/08 Borat cool action movie 4 stars
7/20/08 Shaun Wallner Jason Statham is Awesome!! 5 stars
8/29/07 Matt Fasten steabelt and enjoy one of the dumbest rollercoaster rides of the year. Good fun! 4 stars
7/02/07 Edwin Manguin Good premise, pile of shite of a film 1 stars
7/01/07 Grist Pure shite for the ignorant masses 1 stars
6/05/07 Mark Louis Baumgart Holy Moley Batman, this was a damn lot of fun, funny and fast moving. Entertaining as hell! 5 stars
5/24/07 Dave bad 1 stars
5/15/07 Tracey Chambers I loved it but I would pay to watch jason statham read a newspaper 5 stars
2/17/07 Indrid Cold Awesome idea and fairly entertaining, but no truly outrageous stunts or action scenes. 3 stars
1/18/07 Charles Tatum Yup, great idea and a technique that more than overstays its welcome 2 stars
1/12/07 Mike I was very disappointed. Great idea but this movie just sucked 1 stars
1/11/07 Jiz Hillariously excessive, yet badass. Popcorn never tasted so good. 5 stars
1/11/07 action movie fan overdirected but exciting chase hit man film--good action 4 stars
1/05/07 Johnny Chopsocky An art film of pure total gratuitous excess. 5 stars
12/01/06 brett Pretty crappy 2 stars
10/17/06 lqwandera Unique, new kind of action movie 4 stars
10/16/06 William Goss An almost peversely watchable stunt showcase spectacular, if nothing else. 4 stars
9/20/06 costars I'm a little old lady & i loved it. It was great fun. 4 stars
9/19/06 PD Mean spirited plotless jagoff for sociopathic video game recluses. Wast of Statham. 1 stars
9/19/06 Ben I hated it, and i Hate everyone that liked it. 5 stars
9/19/06 Luckdeezy If you didnt like this movie...your either a lame old lady or a square...GREAT MOVIE!! 5 stars
9/12/06 Ole Man Bourbon Amusing 5 stars
9/09/06 Grendelynden Don't bother with this, if you like Jason Statham go watch the Transporter films. 1 stars
9/07/06 captain shitkicker best film ever made!! all you other faggots quit whining and just enjoy it!!!! 5 stars
9/06/06 Kathy Patterson One of my top 10 worst films 1 stars
9/03/06 KingNeutron Original and fun - and the soundtrack was fantastic. 4 stars
9/03/06 brian chinatown indeed! 5 stars
9/03/06 Carlos Dinea CRANK is KING. Straight Bananas! Chinatown scene will go down in history!!! 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  01-Sep-2006 (R)
  DVD: 09-Jan-2007

UK
  01-Sep-2006

Australia
  19-Oct-2006




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