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Overall Rating
2.41

Awesome: 2.13%
Worth A Look: 20.21%
Average: 27.66%
Pretty Bad: 17.02%
Total Crap32.98%

9 reviews, 40 user ratings


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Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer
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by William Goss

"Quadratic Formula"
3 stars

It comes across as more than a little portentous that the actual on-screen title for 'Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer' omits that initial adjective, as if to say, “Lower thy standards, all ye who enter this auditorium.”

A quick refresher course: an encounter with cosmic radiation transformed cocky Johnny Storm (Craig Evans) into the Human Torch, cranky Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis) into the rock-hard Thing, nerdy Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd) into the flexible Mr. Fantastic, and Johnny’s sister, Sue (Jessica Alba), into the Invisible Woman, while colleague-turned-foe Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon) went the way of the preening megalomaniac, as is so often the case.

In this outing, the team finds Reed and Sue’s much-publicized and oft-delayed wedding ceremony interrupted by one Silver Surfer (Laurence Fishburne audibly, Doug Jones actually), whose arrival has a nasty tendency to precede that of the planet-devouring Galactus. Much globe-trotting ensues as the Four play catch up with the space case, while the Army enlists the help of Dr. Von Doom when unsatisfied with the results of Reed’s “track it, don’t attack it” methods. In the midst of it all, Johnny accidentally adapts the powers of his peers by mere touch, a gimmick that only fuels the series’ more juvenile tendencies, a goofy sense of humor that ends up undermining some otherwise potent moments sprinkled throughout.

The Surfer himself certainly fits the fantastic bill, even if his behemoth of a boss fails to impress to an equal degree, an interstellar menace worthy more of a Dirt Devil than a Silver Surfer. For every nifty dispatch, there seems to be a tacky dance sequence or painful cameo or cringe-worthy product placement to counter it. (By the way, did Alba use her powers to sneak in and help herself to the same freakishly blue contacts that Maria Bello used in World Trade Center? I suspect that by this point, fanboys would forgive them if she just went without.)

Given a brisk ninety-minute running time, only after a relatively leaden start does the action start to build towards something resembling excitement and actual stakes, despite an underwhelming climax. Still, boredom is harder to forgive than stupidity, and for all of the nifty computer-generated shenanigans, both manage to come in spades. Without any real investment (or patience) for the fate of either the world or the team, matters end up every bit as shrug-worthy as its predecessor, and we settle for it just as director Tim Story and company seem content to.

It’s hard to know what’s worse: that the 'Fantastic Four' franchise has so willingly settled into a rut of mediocrity, or that – for its considerably more modest expectations and compromised condition – it relatively delivers what its superhero brethren of late has failed to, superheroes sans soap opera. The line between mere diversion and entertainment proper, however, remains firmly intact, and as a “ka-ching!” coda sweeps across the screen, its message is more foreboding than any line to cross the Surfer’s lips: Go somewhere else for fantastic. We’re all sold out here.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=15530&reviewer=409
originally posted: 06/16/07 00:45:26
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User Comments

9/23/14 jeff This sucked 1 stars
2/21/14 brian I love the Silver Surfer. This is barely him. Reboot. 3 stars
10/28/13 Sissy Gifford Ugh. Low humor, predictable plot, and absolutely no heart. Skip this one. 2 stars
11/20/10 fartvenugen mind numbingly pooptastic 1 stars
8/02/08 mr.mike Saw it on cable, better than the first one, more humor.. 4 stars
6/22/08 David V Could've been as bad as the first one. 3 stars
5/14/08 PAUL SHORTT CINEMATIC EQUIVILENT OF ONE OF THOSE GENERIC BREAKFAST CEREALS WITH A BADLY DRAWN MASCOT 1 stars
10/20/07 Pauline Burns Who's the Silver Surfer? Loved him!! Great film! 4 stars
10/17/07 mb Goofy Fun 3 stars
10/01/07 Andrew Kercher Fun, but corny and overdone. Good SFX but some bad acting. 3 stars
9/15/07 dude fantastic bore 1 stars
8/12/07 Jimmy Close Encounters I want a Silver Surfer -- serious, dark, philosophical, riveting 3 stars
8/04/07 dave Much better than Spiderman 3 - more fun, zero crying scenes, great SFX. Great popcorn film. 4 stars
8/02/07 Angie This movie is the epitome of teh word "crap" 1 stars
7/22/07 mike pretty lame. the previews looked kinda cool but this was just boring with a gay ending 1 stars
7/08/07 Tom Servo It's the Fantastic 4-the lamest league of super losers ever created by Marvel= F- 1 stars
7/03/07 Galactus One awful movie for 2007, Could sweep the Raspberry awards! 1 stars
7/03/07 Lewis Shuler Those five Stars are for "SS" ONLY. as for the rest"1" 5 stars
7/03/07 Jan Enjoyable. A lot better than I expected 4 stars
7/01/07 Bloody Hell I commend you for your ability to sit through that piece of shit. 1 stars
6/29/07 Ole Man Bourbon The FX seemed behind that of Terminator 2. Boring and silly. 2 stars
6/29/07 JLP with I character like SS, it had GREAT potential, too bad for the unimaginative writters. 1 stars
6/25/07 Dc sux blls the writer doesnt knoww a dam thing about marvel galactus isnt a fucking cloud, dicks 4 stars
6/25/07 Kabuki_Jo Pathetic review. The movie, besides a few plotholes, is great 4 stars
6/24/07 Batman1955 Made me glad I'm a DC fan 2 stars
6/24/07 aidan great film loved it it was brill u could say that i would give it 4 and a half BRILLENT!! 4 stars
6/23/07 Marvel Zombie Dumb, cheesy, forgettable. Alba's ass looks great, it's just not worth it 1 stars
6/23/07 Dan Great comic fun. I don't understand why it's fashionable to dislike FF but laud Spiderman. 5 stars
6/22/07 Nine A drepressing waste of a few hours 1 stars
6/21/07 Phil Kuhla Tell Stan Lee to stop making Marvel movies because 90% of them suck!!! 1 stars
6/19/07 Moni The Silver Surfer had the potential to be cool...mishandled and miscasted! 2 stars
6/18/07 bullit16 Truly, truly awful 1 stars
6/17/07 MP Bartley Better than Spider-Man 3. Go figure. 3 stars
6/16/07 Joebo The Roger Corman Film with a new title! 3 stars
6/16/07 D Unbelievably bad, and not in the "its so bad its good" sense either 1 stars
6/16/07 Blizz Even WORSE than the first one! I didn't think that was possible!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
6/15/07 Vincent Ebriega Good as a summer action blockbuster, and not a source of much sense. 3.5/5. 3 stars
6/15/07 Saladhats Fantastic Hugs: Rise of the Lame 1 stars
6/15/07 Anthony G Worst movie in years, and that's saying alot. I am a surfer fan, and this movie is trash. 1 stars
6/15/07 DonnyM worst Movie of the Year. Worst Comic Book Movie. 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  15-Jun-2007 (PG)
  DVD: 02-Oct-2007

UK
  15-Jun-2007 (PG)

Australia
  21-Jun-2007 (PG)



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