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Overall Rating

Awesome: 12.12%
Worth A Look: 30.3%
Average: 9.09%
Pretty Bad: 3.03%
Total Crap45.45%

6 reviews, 30 user ratings

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Wild Hogs
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by Jason Whyte

"A movie made by, and for, stupid people."
1 stars

I walked out of “Wild Hogs” depressed, in a sombre mood. Here is a film that has a lot of promise with the talent in front of the screen and yet the entire experience is like watching fecal matter burn on the screen for 100 minutes. Sad, because there are so many good leads capable of turning out solid work (three of the four usually open their own pictures) in a movie where they are reduced to comedic material that we’ve seen countless times before.

The threadbare plot involves four best friends who have routine day jobs. Doug (Tim Allen) is a dentist with a loving wife (the adorable Jill Hennessey, wasted here) and son. Woody (John Travolta) just split with his wife and is facing depression. Bobby (Martin Lawrence) is a married plumber who is introduced in a scene where he is about to clean out a toilet in a convenience store (and since this is a movie involving toilet humour, naturally the commode is taped up and condemned). And Dudley (William H. Macy) is a bumbling single man who works with computers, yet he can’t seem to get the voice automated system on his computer to work properly.

The quartet of best friends are otherwise known as the “Wild Hogs” as they own expensive motor bikes and ride around when they’re not doing their day-to-day. And since Woody is depressed, he pitches the idea of a cross country road trip to see the countryside and end up in Southern California.

Naturally, things go haywire right from the start. In a big old “only in a movie” kind of a scene, Woody destroys Doug’s cell phone (because who needs cell phones on the open road?), which in turn makes Doug destroy Woody’s cell phone, then Bobby breaks his and Dudley, since he’s a klutz, throws it at a truck by accident. I sunk in my seat during this scene, unable to find the humour in the fact that nearly $1000 of cellular phones become destroyed all to move the story along.

Meanwhile, the Wild Hogs start out on their road trip and finally set up camp, Dudley (whose character’s name is the closest the writers could get to “bumbling”) sets the tent on fire, causing all of them to sleep together on an air mattress. This leads to the wonderful character actor John C. McGinley showing up as a state policeman, who takes a liking to what he’s seeing. He’s gay, and aggressively so, and the film gets a lot of mileage out of the apparent homophobia of the situation.

Even more so as the boys press on to a biker bar, which then answers the question of where former gangster Henry Hill has been all these years. Yes, Ray Liotta plays the bad biker guy who steals Bumbling, whoops, I mean Dudley’s bike. Frustrated, Woody goes back to get Dudley’s bike and winds up destroying the bar and everyone’s bikes in the process. I guess it’s because I like to play Grand Theft Auto San Andreas for Playstation 2 that the sight of bikes constantly exploding just isn’t funny to me anymore.

But anyway… Henry Hill’s pissed off that he can’t live a life of crime with Jimmy Conway and these city boys destroyed their bar, so he and his cronies decide to go out and find them. When two of his henchman comes across the boys in a small town, it leads to an amazingly false and plain WRONG sequence where Martin Lawrence accosts and harasses the henchmen (who are told to stay put and to wait for the whole gang to show up) and kicks them in the groin. Meanwhile, I’m sitting in the audience rooting for Martin to get his ass whooped in the final reel.

Walt Becker, who directed “Van Wilder” has toned down the dog semen but added so many jokes that involve people getting impaled, gay jokes, biker jokes and small town humour. With all of these horrible comedic devices, what are the likes of Travolta, Macy, Lawrence and Allen doing in crap like this? They’re all very funny actors capable of great comedic material, and they all look sad and miserable here. Oh wait, that’s me.

And I still can’t believe that in 2007 that we’re still using the tired Deus Ex Machina to resolve a ridiculous finale that involves a famous biker from years past. It’s bad enough that the morals of the film’s climax are all out of whack; as if to tell you that it’s okay to resort to violence to solve a problem.

Admittedly, I sound serious in my take on “Wild Hogs” yet the movie had no wit, no charm and wastes every possible moment on screen, so I had nothing better to do than to pick apart the ugliness of this film. The audience at my preview screening were laughing uproariously at sequences that have been done so many times before -- and far better -- and it made me question if they were just automatically laughing because they felt they had to. The stupefying reaction made me think of “Idiocracy” where Luke Wilson goes to see the movie “Ass” in that film’s future and the whole movie is a shot of the guy’s ass cheeks as he farts for two hours. Idiocracy is coming faster than you think.

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originally posted: 03/03/07 05:34:57
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User Comments

4/08/10 Jeff Wilder Not as funny as it thinks it is. But better than the dismal RV. 3 stars
1/31/10 Reality of Films Hilarious! 5 stars
7/19/09 Monday Morning Disappointed that no Eskimos or Aborigines were represented. Woulda been funnier. 3 stars
8/21/08 Shaun Wallner This ones ok. 3 stars
6/03/08 mike watched this on starz last night. thought it was pretty funny. why so harsh on this one? 4 stars
4/19/08 mr.mike Has its moments but considering the cast should have been funnier 3 stars
3/10/08 aaron great 5 stars
2/04/08 Matt Not very clever. Not very funny. Not very imaginative. No wit involved. Boring. 2 stars
10/15/07 billy dardy mate this is by far the best movie ive ever seen u need to wake up to your self 5 stars
10/15/07 fools♫gold I spent a fifth of the flick laughing, but it wasn't enough. 2 stars
8/31/07 Unables Light, slapstick humor, a few good laughs. 4 stars
8/24/07 edmond leung I love this movie. Very origianl, very funny. 4 stars
7/03/07 William Goss Petty, pandering, predictable, juvenile, soul-crushing, and laugh-free to boot. 1 stars
6/21/07 Nick Funny the whole time! finally a movie NOT for the wayans-generation 5 stars
5/16/07 Dave lame 1 stars
5/09/07 David Pollastrini More like "Old Hogs" 3 stars
5/01/07 Alice Loved it! Best comedy in years! Thumbs up! 5 stars
4/27/07 Tjode Cole This movie was the best ever. Loved it it was so funny!!! 4 stars
4/25/07 Frida Awesome movie. My family and I loved watching wild hogs can't wait till its out on DVD 5 stars
4/20/07 randy Ok lets ride down the road and act cowardly and stupid while we suffer a mid life crisis, a 1 stars
3/26/07 Annielady Just saw Wild Hogs - my husband and I loved it!!! Very funny and enjoyable!!! 5 stars
3/19/07 Dave I actually go see movies the critics don't like. they are always the best. 4 stars
3/14/07 Sarah I really liked it. It is mindless, but funny! 4 stars
3/13/07 Luisa I thought it was funny... 3 stars
3/11/07 Jason $25 for a vice? Come on I bought mine for $15 two years ago. ` 1 stars
3/08/07 Mark Gambardella I laughed from the opening seen to the end. It was a fun, silly movie for all baby boomers 5 stars
3/06/07 Ann Mossey I enjoyed its lighted hearted "romp" throughout..witih one exception...enough with the poop 4 stars
3/05/07 Ken Komnick This film was funny. I was pleasantly surprised. 4 stars
3/05/07 Joe Kovac I'd strap myself to the exhaust of the next space shuttle launch rather than see this again 1 stars
3/04/07 Todd Just burn $25, then crush your nuts in a vice. It'll be less painfull than this "Comedy" 1 stars
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  02-Mar-2007 (PG-13)
  DVD: 14-Aug-2007

  13-Apr-2007 (12A)
  DVD: 27-Aug-2007

  08-Mar-2007 (M)

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