Another in a long line of Hollywood teases, a limp and lazy affair that promises some carnage, yet offers corn. Some pretty good actors wander around aimlessly, occassionally screaming at the blurry lines surrounding the CGI effects. A true mystery, and I'll tell you why.......If you edited perhaps 5 or 6 raunchy (and painfully unfunny) vulgarities and maybe 10 seconds of mild gore, this would be one of those movies parents would allow their 12-year old boys to see. It's certainly too tame for any kind of real horror fan. The forced witticisms and strained sarcasm that are the hallmark of David E. Kelley's snarky writing runs rampant here. The actors are the only ones in on the joke, apparently. I don't want to give too much away, but let's just say the entire cast could return for the sequel. Bridget Fonda bites her lip, Bill Pullman stammers and looks dazed, and Oliver Platt does some kind of strange Marlon Brando/Thurston Howell thing.
A few exciting scenes show up just long enough to remind you how bored you are, but then Betty White shows up. Hoo boy. If you loved her scene-stealing turn in Hard Rain, this movie's for you. She makes Chris Rock look like Pebbles Flintstone in this one, and I don't mean that in a good way. For some odd reason, the producers have decided that one reviewer's claim that Lake Placid is this year's Anaconda is to be considered praise somehow, as it's plastered all over the ads. At least Anaconda had a body count.A few scattered fun scenes, but I don't order cheeseburgers for the pickles.