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Overall Rating
3.33

Awesome: 23.91%
Worth A Look: 26.09%
Average: 13.04%
Pretty Bad32.61%
Total Crap: 4.35%

3 reviews, 28 user ratings



Things to Do in Denver when You're Dead
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by Hawkboy

"Not Tarantino, but an AMAZING substitute!"
2 stars

Too much talky-talky...no more talky.

Boat Drinks. Buckwheats. Mr. Shhh... This is one of those Swingers-type movies that feels the need to invent fifty new slang expressions in order to be deemed "cool" by us young folks. I can appreciate that some people have different styles of speech, but why do filmmakers feel the need to enrich the English language through their cinema? This is a B-grade crime picture, not "A Clockwork Orange". And Scott Rosenberg, you are NO Anthony Burgess.

So this movie takes place with a bunch of gangsters, some of whom are quite wacky. One is nutty as a fruitcake. One is a leper. Their boss is Christopher Walken blowing through a tube to move his wheelchair. See, instant wackiness! When I make a gangster movie, I'm going to use the craziest characters ever. One will talk to a giant rabbit. One will have a superfluous nipple. One will speak only portugese, but will say "You got it, dude" at inopportune moments, causing laughs galore ("Did you commit these murders?" "You got it, dude!" "Ha ha! Give him the chair." "Ay, no es bueno!")

So they do a job, it goes wrong, then they start getting killed off. And they talk for what seems like hours. "Are we Buckwheats?" "Yeah, they're sending in Mr. Shhh..." "Shit. No boat drinks for me!" "Boat drinks. What an unusual phrase. You out there in the audience should write that one down."

It's like a Quentin Tarantino movie, except....no, wait, it's EXACTLY like a Tarantino movie. Sorry.

Christopher Lloyd in a gritty crime picture. Let me BEGIN to list the things wrong with THAT one.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=1578&reviewer=27
originally posted: 02/03/99 06:20:48
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User Comments

9/13/17 morris campbell overrated imo sorry 1 stars
9/24/15 mr.mike I found it to be worth watching on YouTube. 3 stars
5/05/14 Concern A simple metaphore eloquently explored. Thematically engaging. Pay attention! 5 stars
1/28/14 NotBrickTamland Clever dialogue, cool nicknames & story 5 stars
3/01/11 PAUL SHORTT VIOLENT BUT INTERESTING AND STYLISH 3 stars
10/19/04 Daniel Cecil Brilliant modern film noir. The language is worthy of Shakespeare on the skids. 5 stars
8/16/04 Odessa Excellent, Andy Garcia is great!!! 5 stars
4/06/04 Agent Sands Yes, please stop the Tarantino shit. But, either way, this is deeply flawed but enjoyable. 3 stars
9/29/03 JC A very special movie with deep meanings and again Andy Garcia gave a wonderful performance 5 stars
8/24/03 Mike The characters have character. 5 stars
5/22/03 carrie saw this when it came out and loved it 4 stars
4/19/03 Doug Nicely acted and on the bizarre side but interesting 4 stars
1/13/03 Stevo A bit schlocky but entertaing with pretty memorable characters 4 stars
12/29/02 Jack Sommersby Derivative but colorfully entertaining. Garcia is aces! 4 stars
12/28/02 fg fgfgg 5 stars
11/25/02 Charles Tatum Overblown hooha 1 stars
10/22/02 not needed Nice language 5 stars
7/06/02 Marko Lazarevic Great versatile movie. Not just another ganster movie. 5 stars
2/12/02 Monday Morning The blackest of comedies, which is fine with me. GREAT characters. 5 stars
5/31/01 BrainPan Any movie with a BHTM song is ok by me. Too bad is was . . . 3 stars
3/14/01 The Bomb 69 I liked it, Buscemi's character was not believable though 4 stars
2/25/01 jeroen Just look for the tatoos on Forsythe, 2thumbs up for make up. 3 stars
2/09/01 Bodhi What Tarantino might be like if he had a heart.Mr.Ssh.Cool... 4 stars
7/07/00 Terrie Smith About as exciting as root canal work; Walken as slimy as ever. Buscemi good as "Mr. Shhh". 2 stars
11/07/99 Mickey "Father Death" MacJohnstmyster I'd imagine a trip to the cemetery would be near the top of the list , great review Hawkboy 2 stars
4/25/99 mkitterman Your reputation far excedes your skills, Mammy Rammer! 5 stars
3/08/99 Ben Timms Great Cameo from Jenny McCarthy--well, not really, but it's the most interesting thing you 3 stars
2/18/99 Bishop more writers sucking Tarantino's cock. this sucked. 2 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  01-Dec-1995 (R)

UK
  N/A

Australia
  02-Feb-1996 (MA)




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