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Overall Rating

Worth A Look: 35.21%
Average: 2.82%
Pretty Bad: 14.08%
Total Crap: 5.63%

6 reviews, 35 user ratings

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by the Grinch

"That's about how much it's worth.."
2 stars

O.k. When compared to 'Shag the Dog', er, I mean 'Wag the Dog' it's a masterpiece. Well, by itself, it's still a piece....a piece of something, and I'm not referring to Halle Berry's superficial attributes.

This one's a real gem. It was recommended to us by someone who told me I should rent it instead of 'Something About Mary' because according to them "the only funny part in Mary was the zipper scene"...well, enough said. Always trust your instincts, 'cause this one in-STANK. You thought an episode of 'Family Matters' was predictable? Well, the whole Beatty/Oliver Platt-Jed Clampett/Mr. Drysdale running gag in this film put Steve Urkel's hijinx in Buster Keaton territory. Predictable, oh-so-predictable outcome...and what isn't predictable, would've been better off predictable. Probably one of the few positive things I can say about Bulworth is that it has a great soundtrack...but films like 'Spinal Tap' aside, who sees a movie for the soundtrack? Gawd, I can sit here and try to formulate words to describe how this movie was as flaccid as Ron Jeremy in a cryo-tank...or I can choose a less orthodox manner. So, sung in the style of Will "Fresh Prince" Smith, imagine if you will a white guy pretending to be a middle class black guy pretending to be a white guy rapping...

(Lame human beatbox onomonopeia)

boom a-pshhh boom boom boom pshhht
BOOM ba-tshhh boom ba boom pssht

Well now here's a little story I'd like to tell
About a fool named Beatty who gave Carly hell,
He thought he'd make a movie, but he didn't make it funny
Will someone torture him with ants and baste his balls in honey?
a-baste his balls in honey
please baste his balls in honey
he's rollin' in the money
but his acting's really crummy

See the premise is o.k., Mr. Bulworth is depressed
He's sick of the kow-tow and his marriage is a mess
But we just get caricatures, and no real evolving humor
Half the flick's 'jive in raybans', and Platt poppin' a tumor

(break 'n' pose) EET'S NOT A TOOMAH! ...well..

On to the events, the ones that made it all worthwhile
You really won't find many, 'less you're kin to Gomer Pyle
Maybe you might like it, if you're not annoyed by Warren
it's funny twice or thrice, but on the whole it's really boring

yeah, hell yeah...Chaka Khan, Wrath of Khan...

The product that we got made my b.s. meter swell
But there's yet another thing that just didn't make it gel
If your idea of funny is people rapping really lame
Then go rent 'Cool as Ice', or a film by Kid 'n' Play

siiiiiiii muchacho! Palabra a su madre'!

Now imagine Anne Bancroft gettin' busy wit' yo brother
People be grossed out when a lady likes 'em younger
But how is it okay, when it's a freshman Beatty's hittin'
Is it different than Jer' Springer, with his cock-ringmaster pimpin'?

Word. Represent, beeyatch!
Ya'll come back now, ya hear?

To reiterate, I thought this movie was a flop. It will appeal to many, but I just don't care for it. I WILL say that it's very candid, and there's a couple of really funny scenes here and there. But on the whole, I was popping more uppers than a binging Judy Garland just to stay interested in it. And if you think what Warren Beatty or I just did is rapping, you need to be butt-raped by the Wu-Tang Clan. PEACE!

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originally posted: 10/23/99 11:30:10
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User Comments

12/29/17 morris campbell truthful but boring 2 stars
8/17/14 Jeff WIlder Satirically hits its targets well. 4 stars
4/20/09 Phineas Take your self-loathing,White Guilt and shove it up your RICH Marxist ass,WARREN 1 stars
2/17/09 Angelique Its hilarious you gotta love it! 5 stars
6/24/07 fools♫gold The "Network" of the ninety's; one of the greatest soundtracks for THE greatest movie. 5 stars
5/16/06 Josh Standlee What does this film teach us? Hip-hop is for criminals. Fuck rap!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
9/12/05 Total Crap Miss? Be honest and don't spare my feelings, have any more of those crispy crabcakes? 5 stars
6/10/05 Indrid Cold Hilarious and heart-wrenching, while a little heavy on the PCness. 5 stars
6/06/05 John Aster Habig Warren Beatty played up to my expectations but the script tho funny is uneven 4 stars
11/09/04 Stephanie AWESOME 5 stars
11/29/03 john wonderful 5 stars
10/09/02 Kitfo quirky, funny, and politically in-your-face. most underrated hollywood comedy ever? 5 stars
1/11/02 Andrew Carden Interesting Movie, but Very Bland and Unlikeable. 3 stars
11/16/01 John Best film of 98 5 stars
8/09/01 Mr. Hat The is a great movie. It's funny in every way possible. 5 stars
5/28/01 cinkcool Obviously too deep for alot of people. Very good movie, good message. 5 stars
6/27/00 David Duke Warren Beatty rapping made me want to pull out my eyes with a fork. 1 stars
6/06/00 Bender Uneven, but enjoyable 4 stars
5/18/00 Elvisfan God I hate the people that post at this site...this movie was great 5 stars
10/15/99 Pam Matthews Damn good! This is a wake up call for AMERICA!! Warren you're great! 5 stars
9/04/99 godsdog Maybe ONE funny moment in the entire film. How did this SUCK? Let me count the ways... 1 stars
8/04/99 Dave There is something wrong if you didn't like this movie. Part comedy, part thought provoking 5 stars
5/13/99 ridiculous, and racist, too! 2 stars
4/15/99 Jon Jackson Blah, blah, shhtank! 2 stars
4/05/99 Cool Thing Mega respect to old man Beatty. He done good. 5 stars
3/09/99 Bruce Hedge Great film --uncanny parallels with Australian politics-very funny in parts 5 stars
2/18/99 Piz wow, what a lame, boring, farce of a movie. Zzzzz! 2 stars
10/10/98 Bluntman Badboy Beatty bustin' about THE MAN. DAAAAAAAAAMN! 4 stars
9/27/98 katherine it was pretty funny, ad i luv the soundtrack. 4 stars
9/14/98 Smalltown Possibly the best film of the summer. Kill the white man. 5 stars
9/09/98 f*r*o*s*t*y It was worth the cash to see Beatty "throw up the dub." 5 stars
9/01/98 pooky the bald can't dig the white old rap thing. not funny 3 stars
8/17/98 Johny Old white guy raps, do you need more reason to watch!? :-) 4 stars
8/17/98 Hank this movie is a big fuck you to our whole political system and media. GO SEE IT!!!! 5 stars
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  15-May-1998 (R)
  DVD: 01-Feb-2005


  25-Feb-1999 (M)

Directed by
  Warren Beatty

Written by
  Warren Beatty
  Jeremy Pikser

  Warren Beatty
  Halle Berry
  Don Cheadle
  Paul Sorvino
  Jack Warden

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