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So apparently if your college roommate commits suicide, you get an instant A+ for the semester. As if this idea weren't stupid enough, we have now been graced with two separate movies dedicated to the inane premise. While Dead Man on Campus at least tried to be dark and silly (it failed), The Curve is obviously trying to be a straight thriller, which makes it that much funnier. (I think that made sense.)

So these two roommates secretly plan to kill the third, mainly to get the grades, but also because he's really an abusive jerk. Soon other friends go missing, the cops get involved, and a nosy therapist keeps sniffing around. Sounds like it might be worth seeing? Well then you may be a putz. How anyone is supposed to take this whole premise seriously is almost an insult to the intelligence. I mean there is not ONE likable character in the movie. Pile on top of that the 'out of left field' plot twists and some really stupid comedy that thinks it's oh-so-clever, and you're left with a pretty unappealing mess.

Keri Russell is not a good actress. She has pretty hair. And a small nose. Those should be the only things on her resumé. Randall Batinkoff (or whatever) shows why he hasn't been around much since he knocked Molly Ringwald up in For Keeps. But the grand prize for smacked-ass performer once again goes to Matthew Lillard. Hey, Matt! Here's a couple career tips:

1. If you mellow out maybe ONCE per movie, it would make your 'freakazoid' scenes more effective.

2. Your hands are not your lips. They do not always have to be moving as you speak. (I know, you're trying to distract us all from that big vein on your forehead, but again--mellow out.)

3. Memorize this line, as it will suit you very well in your next career: "Do you want to 'biggie-size' that?"

I digress. Bashing Matthew Lillard is like making toast: It's easy and just everyone does it.

The Curve escapes the realm of ONE STAR by having the balls to offer perhaps the most ridiculous plot twists ever put on film, and also for gracing us with this specific line of dialogue: "You made a MISTAKE? You had my roommate's DICK in your mouth!" Now that's art.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=1680&reviewer=128
originally posted: 03/02/00 22:37:37
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