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Overall Rating
2.75

Awesome: 13.56%
Worth A Look: 22.03%
Average: 16.95%
Pretty Bad: 20.34%
Total Crap27.12%

5 reviews, 29 user ratings


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Cherry Falls
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by Scott Weinberg

"Here's what happens when you jump on the bandwagon too late."
2 stars

Whether you liked the spoof 'Scary Movie' or not, you have to at least be grateful that it it showed up when it did. After the box office explosions of The Blair Witch Project, The Sixth Sense and especially the Scream series, every idiot in Hollywood wanted to jump on the 'new-horror wave' bandwagon. After 'Scary Movie' poked all the holes in the horror genre, studios were left with horror movies that - all of a sudden - looked pretty damn stupid.

While some of these movies (Urban Legend: Final Cut and Lost Souls, for example) still received a theatrical release, the less fortunate titles were shelved for an eventual video release. Cherry Falls had the honor of debuting on the USA Network. Based on the result, I'm pretty interested in seeing an uncut version.

Directed by Geoffrey Wright (Romper Stomper), Cherry Falls basically covers the familiar territory of all stalk & slash movies:

Horny teenagers are being stalked by a mysterious figure who often brandishes sharp, pointy objects. Minor characters are done away with quickly, while the truly creative deaths are reserved for the truly obnoxious characters. The body count rises, until the one (wholesome and female) survivor remaining must fight to stay alive and unmask the killer.

Sound familiar?

Ah, but Cherry Falls has a twist! It seems that the local murderer only kills virgins. So it's good news for all those loose girls out there. Although I was always curious as to exactly how the killer knew who'd done the deed and who hadn't, that curiosity never seemed to bloom into anything resembling a real interest in the movie itself.

Once a few victims are dispatched and the killer's motives are made clear, the entire high school student body decides on the only logical course of action: Have a big orgy party where everyone gets some booty. If there are no virgins left, the killer has to look elsewhere for a throat to slit. (Of course, the issue of young children being virgins is mercifully never brought up. Maybe if Roman Polanski directs the sequel.)

What's really surprising is how a slasher movie such as Cherry Falls could be produced in this day and age. It's as if the script had been sitting on a shelf for 15 years, since Cherry Falls is easily a cousin to all those awful Friday the 13th rip-offs.

Michael Biehn (Aliens) and Jay Mohr (Go) show up, which is always nice, although I think this is a movie Jay will be keeping off his resume for a while. By the end of this movie, you'll be seeing Mr. Mohr in a whole new light, and it's one I doubt his agent was real happy with.

Towards the end of the movie, things begin to pick up a bit. The orgy party is an fun scene, especially when you get to see even the school nerd getting laid. It's obvious that much of this movie is played for laughs, or at least I hope that's the case. How seriously could you take a movie with a plot like "Virgin-Hunting Maniac Provokes Impromptu Orgy"?

Since Cherry Falls debuted on a basic cable channel, I feel that I was robbed of the vulgarity, carnage and boobies that are naturally inherent to a movie of this stature. Based on the 'quick-edit' chops during the gory scenes, I'm betting that the upcoming DVD will offer a lot more fun. I'll be sure to let you know.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=1755&reviewer=128
originally posted: 10/25/00 17:46:53
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User Comments

11/05/09 Josie Cotton is a goddess Could have been worse, it could also have been better 3 stars
12/14/08 mr.mike Fair to middlin' 3 stars
11/07/05 vandrende Ýrn fun and interesting in a weird way:p 4 stars
8/04/05 ^podo good entertaining but nothing more... 3 stars
2/25/05 mark louis baumgart This is good, clever and funny only if you are absolutely positively retarded. 1 stars
10/23/04 Richard Zywotkiewicz Those calling this "total crap" wouldn't know a good horror movie if it bit them on the ... 5 stars
6/15/04 Dan King This movie is TERRIBLE. My respect level for Jay Mohr has dropped drastically. 1 stars
4/17/04 Michael Greenwaldt A pretty good slasher flick! It's no SCREAM, or even close, but most aren't! 4 stars
5/13/03 Jack Sommersby The talented Biehn is wasted in this obvious, too-tame thriller. 2 stars
5/12/03 Charles Tatum Rent "Halloween" instead 1 stars
9/09/02 Ben Wasden A smart and interesting slasher thriller along the lines of Scream. 5 stars
1/16/02 Oliver Williams A poorly balanced mix of other and better horror movies. A load of bollox 2 stars
12/13/01 ben wasden Sharp and entertaining. 5 stars
11/24/01 Tarlan A film that tries to combine humor and horror . Michael Biehn was excellent. 4 stars
11/04/01 Nicole Gabriel Mann is HOT!!!! I really loved this movie, it was just so different, never boring! 4 stars
11/02/01 Tori I Think it was an awesome movie!! 5 stars
11/01/01 Giant Robo Better than a lot of silver-screen horror films.. 5 stars
10/06/01 Amy A horror movie in it's infancy, needs work, lots of work 2 stars
8/30/01 Carlos Schvartzman Funny, witty, well-acted 4 stars
6/04/01 Roy Smith Brittany Murphy is gorgeous but the movie is a total loss. 2 stars
5/24/01 O'Rourke Brittany's a good actress, & there's good atmosphere & a distinct tone, but it's too tame 4 stars
2/16/01 Carrie Gay Too Short, but very suspenseful... 4 stars
2/03/01 Corky Should have been either funnier or scarier. Tepid stuff, despite attempts at satire. 3 stars
12/09/00 Sarah Come on, it's cheesy. But when is a horror movie not?The setting couldn't be greater though 5 stars
11/27/00 dfdfdfdf dfdfdf 5 stars
11/10/00 Peter Jones I love this film, plenty of sexy men to get my pulse going. Ne 1 want to butt fuck me . 5 stars
10/22/00 Dan Brittany Murphy is a great comedy star. But this is no comedy, more a pile of shit. 2 stars
10/14/00 Matthew Bartley Horrible sleazy, tacky crap 2 stars
9/08/00 Richard Wright A dreadful slasher flick which plays like it was made in 1985 before Scream. Miss it. 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  20-Oct-2000 (R)
  DVD: 20-Mar-2001

UK
  N/A

Australia
  21-Feb-2001 (MA)


Directed by
  Geoffrey Wright

Written by
  Ken Selden

Cast
  Michael Biehn
  Jay Mohr
  Brittany Murphy
  Candy Clark
  Amanda Anka
  DJ Qualls



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