All right, whoever has seen this film knows now what can mainframe computers and the latest version of Visual Basic can do, and I applaud that. Dinosaur is another summer movie that goes on to prove what summer movies are for, to think that everything is possible, big loud, cool and fun. And unfortunately summer movies have the tendency to suck badly, and this one almost did, due to a few big holes and an almost bad storyline. But still itís worth a casual viewDinosaur is the story of Aladar, an iguanodon that is separated from his mother before born and that gets to grow with a clan of Lemurs, and he grows, and his life is all of a sudden destroyed by a meteor crash, which he miraculously survives. So he and three surviving lemurs Zini, his ďmother,Ē Plio and Yar, set off to survival and encounter a clan that heads for the nesting grounds, in command of some hard-ass iguanodon named Kron and his sister Neera, along the way they must avoid the Carnotaurs who can prey there and some other shit
"Wow, and WTF?"
Ok, the FX kicked ass, it kicked so much ass that it even forgot itself about a believable script. But also the FX has its own bad parts. The dinosaur models were cool, but they were not as realistic as I hoped. Hey I wanted to see a dinosaur movie not a fucking dragon-like beast of a movie. Most of the dinosaurs, like the Triceratops and the Tyrannosaurus are all overblown to hell. I mean, since when the fucking Tyrannosaurus had devil-like horns and lots of spikes in his back? And they call them Carnotaurs? And they have more than two fingers in each hand? Sure, the Allrosaurus is like it, but itís not as big as the film portrays it. The designs suggest even more a Tyrannosaurus, and in that I was disappointed and annoyed by the design of my favorite dinosaur. Oh, and since when the Triceratops has such fucked up horns like that? Ugh, many dinosaurs were portrayed inaccurately that I was watching more of a gay fantasia flick than a dinosaur flick. Other than that the FX were awesome, and my favorite scene of all was the meteor scene, that FX was very, very well made, and I applaud the FX guys for such a cool scene, which leads us now towards the not so applauded plot.
The plot is more like something straight out of an Indiana Jones movie, and unfortunately, since this is Disney itís childish, but even more; it exaggerates its childishness up to the point of being annoying. The lemur mating scenes were pretty dumb and what spoiled the meteorite scene for me was that they survived by jumping into the water. Unless youíre an ignorant person, the meteor when it hits, not only sends a path of destruction, it heats the water to its boiling point and even evaporates it. No way those guys could survive and seeing that they did just by jumping into the water has to be the lamest idea out of a plothole since the laughable rebellion plans of Battlefield Earth.
Other parts of the script play around lots of foolishness and sexual innuendo (yes, those Disney perverts) that furthermore makes you wonder if the Disney guys that wrote this wrote it with kids and adolescents in mind, and I was there wondering too that the only thing we needed was to show us a dinosaur fucking another dinosaur. Thank God that never happened. The rest of the script was all right, it had some good messages too, and I liked that. But the point was that this film needed a lot of rework plotwise, because the script was pretty much bad enough to annoy kids and alienate them with nonsensical bullshit. Sure, the FX were cool, so were the ones in ID4. Substance we need substance.In the end, yeah, I somehow recommend to watch this film but only to watch it for the FX, just take a deep breath and try to awe at the FX for the entire 82 minutes this film lasts, and try not to worry about the plot so much. Itís hard, but despite flaws itís pretty much worth it. (2.5-5)
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originally posted: 10/21/01 10:40:12