Worth A Look: 14.41%
Pretty Bad: 20.72%
Total Crap: 31.53%
5 reviews, 81 user ratings
by Matt Mulcahey
I have never walked out of a movie. Never. And I’ve seen some all-time turkeys at the multiplex. I sat through Cabin Boy, Clifford, Almost Heroes and Double Team without skulking out.
I didn’t walk out of Joe Dirt, but I should have. I stayed until the end because that’s my job. I sit through terrible, boring, unbearable movies to tell you how horrendous they are so you don’t have to find out for yourself.Most people have better things to do with their time than suffer
"Spade sinks low-brow humor to disgusting new depths"
through a bad movie. I, however, do not. So instead of just telling you “For the love of God don’t see this movie” I’m actually going to write about the plot and throw out some clever diatribes for your entertainment.
Joe Dirt is the story of a quintessential redneck’s search for his parents who abandoned him at the Grand Canyon when he was eight. Apparently, Dirt (David Spade) just kind of wandered the land for the duration of his childhood like some kind of Johnny Moron Seed.
The story unfolds in flashback as janitor Dirt recants his tale of woe on the air to a radio shock jock (the usually funny Dennis Miller going down in flames).
Being the film was executive produced by Adam Sandler, the brand of humor in store shouldn’t come as any surprise. But no matter how idiotic and mindless Sandler’s films, they are usually funny.
Joe Dirt is not. The film basically consists of fart jokes (cow farts, no less), frozen airplane poop jokes, mobile home septic tank jokes and dog testicle jokes (think Jeff Daniel’s tongue from Dumb and Dumber).
Spade’s character, with his mullet wig (don’t ask), acid-wash jeans and Def Leppard T-shirt, is more pathetic than humorous. Spade only plays one character well: the smart ass. The same character that worked in Tommy Boy and to a lesser extent in Black Sheep, Senseless and PCU. The same character he plays on “Just Shoot Me.” The only character he’s ever played with any success.
Since I had to sit through the entirety of this fiasco, I came up with some of my own little games to entertain myself.
I tried counting the excrement jokes, but just couldn’t keep up.
For a while I tried to think of comedies that are worse than this one.Hot to Trot, the Police Academy sequels, Carrot Top in Chairman of the Board, Chevy Chase movies from the last decade, etc.
After that I tried to decide at exactly what point Fred Ward stopped being a respected actor (Short Cuts, The Player, Henry & June, The Right Stuff) and started appearing in movies like Road Trip and Joe Dirt.
At the end, I came up with some new movie laws.
One: No matter how god-awful a movie is, Christopher Walken is fun to watch.
Two: David Spade should stick to being a smart ass.
Three: Carson Daly and Kid Rock should never again be allowed to
appear in a movie.Even the type of low-IQ rednecks that the film lampoons won’t find Joe Dirt funny. They’ll find themselves scratching their mulleted heads on the way to their Trans Am thinking “There goes an hour and a half of my life and seven bucks I could’ve spent on Pabst Blue Ribbon.”
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originally posted: 04/18/01 15:32:22