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Overall Rating

Awesome: 1.52%
Worth A Look: 10.61%
Average: 9.09%
Pretty Bad: 27.27%
Total Crap51.52%

6 reviews, 30 user ratings

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Art of War, The
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by Slyder

"'The Art Of Shitty Film Making' should be the name"
1 stars

I sat around, feeling uneasy and weird as I watched this film. All the time I asked myself, "Where in the hell is this film going? What the fuck is going on here?" When it ended, I felt pretty fucked. Sure, when I saw the trailer I expected some kind of Seagal style flick. It was worse; it was unbelievably unbelievable, with exaggerated action scenes, and confusing plot. I couldn't understand any fucking minute of the film and as a result, I felt pissed and robbed from my time.

Ok, so here's this fuck called Neil Shaw (Wesley Snipes) who’s some undercover agent working for the United Nations (They also have CIA style agency? didn't know). This branch is headed by Eleanor Hooks (an aged Anne Archer) and has been involved in many covert operations to secure peace on Earth. But then there's a load of dead chinamen discovered, and then the Ambassador of China (James Hong), who's about to secure a treaty for stable relations between the US and China, is assassinated. In all that confusion of finding the shooter, Shaw is set up and blamed for the killing; after which of course, with some luck of the Irish, he escapes. So Shaw must try to stay ahead of the FBI and the police and try to find who placed the finger on him.

So what's wrong with this film? In a word: Everything. Up to this moment, I don't know why a cast of great actors like Donald Sutherland and Anne Archer signed up for this shit. Basically, it seems that Wesley Snipes is destroying his career by choosing almost ALL OF THE TIME cheesy formulaic and all-around ridiculously stupid action vehicles. This latest dreck gives prove to that. Just one thing, if you don’t realize whom the bad guy is in the first 30 minutes of the movie, then I guess you’re a total jackass.

First of all, some action scenes were cool, but many of them were totally overdone, overblown, and totally unbelievable. The scene where Shaw and his so-called partner Bly (Michael Biehn), face off in a gunfight is total bullshit, they empty their guns and avoid bullets, ALL AT CLOSE RANGE (!!!), and they miss each other; WTF??!! I mean, it's really angering to see that the scene is nothing more than a Matrix rip-off right from the start and it’s even more frustrating to see that from there onwards it all just goes from bad to worse, all the way towards the predictable finish. There's so many people killed in this movie that it's incoherent, and makes you want to scratch your head and think "Well, what the hell did this guy had to do with anything?" It was just bullshit all around.

All right, now to the plot: whatever the film was trying to point out confused me to the point of giving me a headache. I mean, all this shit is stirred up just to screw a few Chinese living in the USA or what? The how and why of the United Nations being involved in this case still puzzles me, and I think the whole UN setting served more like a cash-in on the dubious showdown our “hero” and the bad guy would have in the “climactic” act of the movie. In fact, I was all the time trying to see what the hell was the film trying to expose, but never exposed anything. I... I... I want to fucking kill somebody. No, keep calm keep calm. Um, I want to meet the guy that approved this script and ask him either if he actually read it, or actually found some sense in it. If he did, then I hope that he can please tell me what the fuck was this shit all about, because as things are right now, this shit is even worse than Lost Highway.

And don’t even get me started with that stupid, pathetic ending since I feel like I’m about to explode right now.

I felt pretty fucked, and pissed, and Wesley Snipes bad acting makes it even worse, especially with his “Eddie Murphy” shtick which just makes you realize how deep the guy has actually fallen. Anne Archer is totally wasted on this film, and her demise in the end of the scene left me dumbfounded. Donald Sutherland is also wasted, and I couldn't understand what was he doing on this movie. Same thing with Michael Biehn, whom I considered a generally underrated actor, and this will certainly be one of the films he less deserved to be in. Oh, and that FBI agent was totally wasted, he was the jackass of the film, I guess, a comedy relief. And then that incredibly stupid ending just made things even worse than what it was. I laughed, and it annoyed me; in fact this whole fucking film annoyed me.

In the end, don't go see this movie. It's not worth your time, believe me, it's just absolute horseshit. Mr. Snipes, I have to say this with no disrespect to you since I don’t know you but quite frankly, you stink; I mean your career's fucked, and yet you keep making shitty action films. Ahem, WILL YOU FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE TRY TO PROVE THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY AN ACTOR FOR CHRIST’S SAKE??!! FUCK!!! IS ACTION THE ONLY FUCKING GENRE THAT YOU CAN DO??!! ARE YOU THAT ONE-SIDED??!! ARE YOU THAT BAD??!! Choose some dramas, chose some horror, chose porn, whatever, but show us once again that you're an actor and that you're reliable, YOU LITTLE SHIT!!! To be typecast in so many lame-ass action films without making anything else and doing the same kind of character over and over is just irritating. 0-5

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originally posted: 08/02/01 15:19:08
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User Comments

9/22/17 morris campbell not a bad flick 3 stars
2/05/12 Orson I enjoy ROOTING for the villains~they were obviously right!! 4 stars
1/26/10 art ONLY HIGHLIGHT is when MARIE MATIKO STRIP"S! 2 stars
8/28/08 Shaun Wallner The Action was Amazing! 4 stars
3/02/08 Pamela White uneven performance 2 stars
8/07/07 David Graham not bad but more like the art of crap. 2 stars
6/10/05 JD A decent enough movie, worth a look. 4 stars
2/21/05 Jeff Anderson The film looks great & Snipes is in good energized form. A PRETTY GOOD FILM OVERALL! 4 stars
2/17/04 Stefan Halka After a promising beginning, it's all downhill in plot and action. 3 stars
5/12/03 Jack Bourbon They may as well have shot the producers stroking Snipes' lubricated Alabama blacksnake for 2 stars
3/04/03 Jack Sommersby An unexpected delight. Kinetic action, good plotting, and a winning Snipes. 4 stars
4/01/01 fishie not bad, but i've seen better. 3 stars
1/08/01 The Democratic Darkness It wasn't good, nor was it bad, but the action scenes were either GREAT or EXTREMELY GOOFY. 3 stars
1/04/01 NoStringsAttached The Art of War MY ARSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 stars
1/01/01 John Lyons Okay, but could have done without the racial slant. 3 stars
12/02/00 Phil Art of CRAP . . . Wanted action, got bore-fest. 1 stars
10/02/00 Image its not Wesleys greatest...but wuzn't that bad either!! 4 stars
9/18/00 Bueller A cliche. Whenever they 'aparently' kill a heroes' buddy, he always comes back as a villan. 2 stars
9/06/00 Boy In The Designer Bubble My prostitute cousin has a pimp who could have starred in this flick. And did a better job. 1 stars
9/03/00 Franklin Pure Ish 1 stars
9/02/00 KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi Stay home & water your Chia Pet... 1 stars
9/02/00 Merripen dear gawd, has it really come to this? Don't bother. 1 stars
9/01/00 paul C Typical summer fare: Great action. So-so plot and dialog. 4 stars
8/31/00 Stunned Moviegoer Oh my god this sucked, but I knew it would. Worse than Coyote Ugly, if you can believe it 1 stars
8/30/00 jon j boo 1 stars
8/29/00 Greyjack Astonishingly mediocre. The most derivative, unoriginal film I've seen in ages. 2 stars
8/29/00 Ken damn enjoyable 5 stars
8/29/00 Hollywood Hangover Forced, unapologitic references to Sun Tzu in order to pilfer cool title. 'Nuff said? 1 stars
8/28/00 Captain Highcrime Same old, same twists or surprises in this not-really-New York shootup. 3 stars
8/26/00 Clifton Hyre Total waste of an evening! 1 stars
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  25-Aug-2000 (R)


  19-Oct-2000 (MA)

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