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Overall Rating
2.62

Awesome: 16.56%
Worth A Look: 17.2%
Average: 15.92%
Pretty Bad: 12.74%
Total Crap37.58%

12 reviews, 85 user ratings


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Coyote Ugly
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by Jason Whyte

"Damn coyote...you sure is UGLY!!!"
1 stars

Once in a blue moon, Jerry Bruckheimer will come up with something worthy of my time again (and that very well may just happen, in the upcoming movie "Remember The Titans" starring Denzel Washington). There hasn't been a good film under his label since 1996's "The Rock", and that's pushing it. Ever since, his movies have been one headache inducing pile of rubbish. "Coyote Ugly" is no exception. Blaringly loud, tastelessly edited with a silly, sub-standard plot that has been in about a dozen films this year, "Ugly" is exactly that, an ugly, depressing mess of a movie with no redeeming values whatsoever.

Where have you heard of this before? A waitress at a hole-in-the-wall restaurant named Violet (Piper Perabo), who has aspirations of becoming a lip-syncher to Leann Rimes songs...whoops, I meant a singer/songwriter, and moves a whopping 42 miles from New Jersey to New York. Her dreams are getting her nowhere, but then she gets a job at a bar called Coyote Ugly, which is one of these edgy bars where they will throw water on you if you ask for a glass of water (what if someone needs water to take an Aspirin in these loud Bruckheimer bars?) and cut off your tie to tell you to loosen up. I can understand bars being rowdy, but employees doing this just crosses the line. Personally, I'd ask them to buy me a new one and tell them they've just lost a customer.

What is up with this bar? The previews tote nothing BUT this bar, with the bar maids' breasts bouncing and shining in the Bruckheimer-ish lights and the fast editing. The bar is located in some trashy part of town and the place is filled to double the standard capacity, and all the attraction are are some girls who look like porn stars (at one point where they are at a restaurant flaunting their cash, a character asks "Are they prostitues?"). This isn't a bar. This is a cinematic masturbation of night life.

This film isn't all about Violet's life in the bar. She has, like, a love relationship and stuff with an Austrailian guy named Kevin (Adam Garcia), a short order cook who wants to make Violet's singing dreams come true, to make her leave Coyote Ugly and move on with her dreams. Bleech. These two are perfect for each other: Violet, who is too dumb to realize she can easily leave and do her singing career but would rather flaunt her body parts in this joke of a bar, and He, who talks WAY too much through every single situation and if he would THINK as smart as he talks, he would have left Violet after the first date.

This movie, storywise, is a mess, but is even more of a trainwreck techinally and who brought it together. Yet another film under the "Yes-Man" mentality to producer Jerry Bruckheimer, director David McNally has no talent, and no use of anything but the cool blues and the hot reds and the actresses' breasts. Ironically, they cast a small-chested Piper Perabo, a talented actress with major leading potential, I'd go even to say the next Julia Roberts. Why cast her? Ditto for Maria Bello, a good actress who plays Lil, the boss of the bar, who I have seen as sexier, funnier and just plain better than what she is served with here. (See her in "Payback" for an excellent example) And do we really need to see John Goodman as an overbearing father? We certainly don't want to watch him dance on a bar either.

Meanwhile, the rest of the supporting cast is awful, thus pretty much belonging here. As Violet's love interest, Adam Garcia gives his best impersonation he can do of Heath Ledger's Patrick Verona in "10 Things I Hate About You". Tyra Banks gives a perfomance worlds apart from "Life Size" and "Fresh Prince Of Bel Air", and yet here she is, and I never looked above her chest. Bridgette Monyahan, a coyote, is described as a "bitch" by many in the film, and the entire audience seems to agree. Nothing happens to her character to better herself, so it is just wasted. And Izabella Miko, as another one of the Coyotes, would be better off holding cue cards in porno movies.

This is a bad movie. This is NOT one to watch because, "It's so bad, it's good." I would have enjoyed it if it toyed with its story and made fun of it. Some movies know they have re-touched similar ground, but if they pull it off with engaging characters, dialogue or just plain good scenes, the film can be very good. "Coyote Ugly" is the polar opposite, a movie that would rather scream in your ear and show that 12 cameras were used to photograph a bar dance, than entertain. It insults instead of pleases.

What is the REAL reason the bar is named "Coyote Ugly"? Because "Cocktail" was taken.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=1876&reviewer=350
originally posted: 06/13/04 23:20:33
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User Comments

3/16/14 who well said. pathetic movie that insults both men and women, assuming everyone is too stupid 1 stars
4/05/10 art THIS film is PATHETIC!,JUST like new jersey! 1 stars
3/18/10 PAUL SHORTT ROUTINE FANTASY/FLUFF 2 stars
5/12/09 Cody Fantastic movie. 5 stars
5/01/09 hannah omg this reviewer is an idiot! adam garcia is AUSTRALIAN douche bag! get ur facts right!! 3 stars
10/05/08 leeyoonkyoung Nose bedspread reel writing ruth loop countlessly, it saw. It is a movie of true top! 5 stars
9/04/08 Rachel I should be saying this is terrible, but I can't help but kinda loving this one. 4 stars
8/02/08 conch tangco omg im addictive to it its the best 5 stars
4/04/07 David Pollastrini Piper Perabo is hot in this! 3 stars
1/27/07 Tamara Leonard I loved the movie to own it.. Have watched countless times. 5 stars
11/29/06 amanda FANTASTIC movie! by far one of my favorites. 5 stars
8/13/06 Ari Horrible Movie 1 stars
5/26/06 Michele fun 4 stars
8/27/05 ES Women act like sluts to sell booze and survive in a man's world and that's awesome? 2 stars
7/06/05 gothboy02 great i like the chick /main 4 stars
6/07/05 y2mckay Why is it that all the "Awesome" comments are from women? Are you really all that stupid? 1 stars
12/10/04 Jason Kaul Royal crap. Wearing a crown of shit and all. But it made a ton of money 1 stars
7/17/04 legend Had low expectations but was pleasantly surprised by such a decent film. 4 stars
7/06/04 Sammi Hella awesome movie...loved everything about it! 5 stars
6/19/04 Denise Duspiva Fun 5 stars
5/28/04 cfdfsdfsd cool 5 stars
5/07/04 wylene Boring story line 1 stars
4/15/04 Veronica Ramirez It's a pretty good movie 5 stars
4/10/04 Michelle Good songs, good story, good actors, the movie was gr8! 5 stars
3/03/04 Blondy i loved it!! wanna move 2 new york now + become a coyote :) 5 stars
2/14/04 I Would Go and get some real porn you wimps 1 stars
1/20/04 michel Will be remembered as a cult classic in the "so bad it's hilarious" category 4 stars
10/21/03 Hayley M IT is the best film i have ever seen. ITs wicked.And jack whoever you are it is COOOOOOL! 5 stars
6/23/03 Gemma kavanagh I thought it was wicked 5 stars
4/29/03 jeffrey amon this movie is great!!!! 5 stars
4/04/03 Jack Bourbon May I have your attention: WHERE WERE THE TITS? 2 stars
3/05/03 Robert Cooley if you miss this, you will live 3 stars
1/28/03 Pinkline Jones Don't watch this film if you're contemplating suicide 1 stars
7/25/02 palaboy101 I was expecting this to be UGLY but it AIN'T! 4 stars
5/23/02 Janx Besides Goodman, nobody in this movie can act worth a damn! No nudity either. Pure Shit 1 stars
5/15/02 Blake This movie deserves a 10 out of 10, it was so great. 5 stars
4/03/02 toya movie was great had a message tellin that u can do ne thing when u achive n go for it. 5 stars
4/02/02 Vitality1 Whoa! This movie has more bad acting than a Dawson's Creek episode!! 1 stars
3/25/02 Veronica Foxx (The Raven-Haired Temptress) This movies only objective: make teen boys hard; con teen girls out of $ w/ B.S. storyline 1 stars
2/28/02 Alan Smithee Nothing but a wanna-be T&A film for teenage boys. Hot chicks though......... 1 stars
2/14/02 Bob Marley never seen it 5 stars
2/02/02 trtrrt rtertrt 5 stars
1/21/02 Spencer Lent I thought it was going to be dumb but it was pretty good. 4 stars
12/04/01 Andrew Carden My IQ Dropped 50 Points After Watching This Mindless Crap. 1 stars
12/01/01 Mr Math I'm dumber for having seen it. 1 stars
11/25/01 the Grinch "..both ways. Which is I'm sure what they made the original screenwriter "Ha! Oz, u r KING! 1 stars
11/25/01 Senor Pescolido Really really generic and bad. At least if you're going to tease, show some skin. 2 stars
8/19/01 Dr. Thompson A textbook example of why american women suck 1 stars
8/13/01 Ken Like a really shitty TV movie, but rated R. 1 stars
8/03/01 Chris K. Sex films are dead! And COYOTE UGLY is one of those "bad sex films" 1 stars
7/29/01 Jennifer Gaissert It's not Shakespeare, but it's cute 3 stars
7/29/01 yop l 5 stars
7/17/01 Elvisfan All plot points are in the form of brick walls falling on innocent viewers 1 stars
5/12/01 Chris The DVD has a montage of the best scenes - it lasts a little over a minute! 1 stars
4/24/01 *~Danielle*Ophelia~* (formerly KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi) I'm a bartender, and if I were to pull some of these hijinks I'd be SO out on my arse... 3 stars
4/20/01 i love movies SHOWGIRLS without the jiggly! how bad can it get? 1 stars
4/16/01 Tam Cute, entertaining film with amazing bar scenes but a predictable plot. Kevin is sooo sexy! 4 stars
4/03/01 AgentDS It's entertaining and the soundtrack rocks! It's a really long video. 4 stars
3/09/01 Jake Yeah, a gem of a film. Not! 1 stars
2/15/01 Kasha I've already seen it twelve times and still love it. 5 stars
1/29/01 Nic Overall, just a great movie. I'd watch it again and again! 5 stars
1/22/01 The Bomb 69 mildly entertaining, except when she sang, ewwww!!!! 3 stars
1/03/01 RAINBOW LOVED THE FLICK' WAS FUNNY AND ENTERTAINING 4 stars
12/08/00 Jon Wendt It's terrible 1 stars
11/28/00 Cristopher Revilla want tits and ass, get a porno, want musical, get west side story, but don't get this shit 1 stars
11/21/00 Kim I loved this movie, it was cute and innocent and definately worth buying 5 stars
9/06/00 Boy In The Designer Bubble Saw this flick with a chick. She hated it. 2 stars
8/23/00 Jon Wendt Possibly the worst movie I've ever seen 1 stars
8/14/00 TimmyToday PG-13! Not enough, 1 stars
8/10/00 KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi If you're simply looking to kill a couple of hours, this is the way to do it... 3 stars
8/09/00 Poetcdh Good music, good looking stars-what's not to like 5 stars
8/09/00 PJ I volunteer this as the worst film of 2000, even worse than Battlefield Earth, suckarama!!! 1 stars
8/09/00 Manda The entire theatre was clapping and laughing with the movie. I'm going to buy this one. 5 stars
8/08/00 ibspoof As a guy I enjoyed it. 4 stars
8/08/00 Heather Keith script is rough, but very well acted 4 stars
8/07/00 **~**Persnickety**~** ok pretty lame, you can call every shot in this one 2 stars
8/07/00 bobbuttons goodman good, piper hot, tyra not. better than expected 4 stars
8/07/00 Cam A bar and hot as hell chicks wearing tighter than hell clothing. Mushy subplot for the g/f 5 stars
8/06/00 The Rock Better than the other releases...a real surprise 4 stars
8/06/00 silas without seeing this movie you'll notice that its unoriginal and proprietary(sp?) bullshit 1 stars
8/06/00 bullit17 Formulaic and not very original. But still entertaining and VERY easy on the eyes 4 stars
8/06/00 clark move over Natalie, here comes PIPER! 5 stars
8/04/00 Pub Crawler Total shallow boring poorly-made poorly-acted not even any nudity. soft core bullshit 1 stars
8/04/00 TimmyToday And I quote: "Less artsy more fartsy." 2 stars
8/03/00 Jokko Coyote Stupid. Tyra has 2 mins. of screen time, BTW. John Goodman is quite good. 2 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  04-Aug-2000 (PG-13)
  DVD: 07-Jun-2005

UK
  N/A

Australia
  01-Jan-2001 (M)


Directed by
  David McNally

Written by
  Gina Wendkos
  Kevin Smith

Cast
  Piper Perabo
  Adam Alexi-Malle
  Tyra Banks
  Maria Bello
  Adam Garcia



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