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Overall Rating

Awesome: 2.56%
Worth A Look: 0%
Average: 5.13%
Pretty Bad56.41%
Total Crap: 35.9%

4 reviews, 15 user ratings

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Play It to the Bone
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by Scott Weinberg

"There's a FIGHT at the end!"
2 stars

Watching Antonio Banderas do comedy is like watching dogs screw. It's pretty embarassing, but you don't get to see it every day. Well, it's a pretty fun dog screw, and Woody helps a bit, although my $7.00 investment paid off with the more than ample Lolita Davidovich Cleavage-O-Rama!

Damn, Ron Shelton must like sports. He probably beats OTHER people's wives during the Super Bowl just to prove a point. By my count, this guy has had his hand in great sports movies (Bull Durham, Tin Cup), good sports movies (The Best of Times, Blue Chips, White Men Can't Jump), and horrible sports movies (The Great White Hype, Cobb). This isn't one of the great ones, although I found it a mildly enjoyable diversion from the suffering and misery that is my everyday existence.

So Antonio and Woody are best friends, and they're offered a chance to fight as the undercard bout under Mike Tyson. So they drive to Vegas, with pretty Lolita D. Boobies in tow. There are some damn funny dialogue bits, and there is some chemistry between our stars. (Especailly when they all starting acting gay! THAT'S comedy!)

So. There's a lot of driving and foul language which I personally detest. I find a large proliferation of vulgarities is usually a cheap ploy to hide a lack of fuckin' talent. Our heroes pick up a tiny Asian hitchhicker, so Woody screws her standing up behind a gas station in the desert. It's a true leap for American cinema. So they start driving again and end up at the boxing match. There is a brutal bout and then an epilogue.

The movie is about as strange as this review. It's not REALLY a sports movie, and it's not all that GOOD of a road movie, so I guess we'll just have to wait for Shelton's next movie, which I believe is a serious, probing drama called Soccer Moms.

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originally posted: 02/11/00 11:19:51
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User Comments

5/13/04 John it's like a plane sputtering along the runway and never being able to take off 2 stars
11/21/03 homer simpson taking pictures of my crap is more fun then this movie 1 stars
4/07/03 Jack Sommersby Shelton's treading water here. 1 stars
1/27/01 Soggy Bottom Boy Lucy Liu is the only reason I didn't flip the channel, this is just plain bad. 1 stars
8/24/00 Add Good fight scenes but drags too much between the good bits, its no white men can't jump. 3 stars
7/12/00 Michael Grimm fight scenes were good, dialogue could have been better, ending was predictable 3 stars
6/18/00 Cooke I laughed my ass off. 5 stars
3/06/00 Captain Highcrime Since when does a drive from LA to Vegas take what feels like 9 days?! 2 stars
3/03/00 lucas jackson I'll tell ya there was nothing good about it 1 stars
2/17/00 Andi C. the last 15 minutes were ok 1 stars
2/11/00 Jamison Moore This is a road movie gone wrong! The interaction is forced, only 2 good one liners. 2 stars
2/07/00 Lame-Oh Banderas was great. Harrelson, what have you done?! 1 stars
2/02/00 mr. coffee Is there a ranking worse than sucks all ass? Good fight scenes though. 1 stars
1/26/00 Sherry kinda slow, but it wasn't that bad 2 stars
1/23/00 JonnyAngel ugh 1 stars
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  21-Jan-2000 (R)


  12-Oct-2000 (M)

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