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Overall Rating

Awesome: 4.03%
Worth A Look: 16.78%
Average: 10.74%
Pretty Bad: 25.5%
Total Crap42.95%

8 reviews, 101 user ratings

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Mission to Mars
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by Scott Weinberg

"Trust me, you've seen this ALL before, and much better."
2 stars

Throughout the course of this movie, one word will consistently resurface in your brain, irritating you constantly. It's a common word, although not one generally associated with a director and stars of this caliber. That word is "Why?"

Why would a studio choose Brian De Palma to direct a big, supposedly "gee-whiz" sci-fi adventure? Why are there so many scenes that waver between corny, silly and just plain dull? Why do the characters consistently commit such moronic acts, and why would the filmmakers expect us to buy all this, especially considering that every other scene is simply a cliche, stolen completely from other (better) movies? And why did I just pay six bucks for a story I've seen about 15 times before?

Mission to Mars is yet another movie that simply steals ideas, characters and scenes from just about every familiar sci-fi source available. When a movie simply reminds you of five other ones, that's not really a good sign. Add to the fact that the screenwriters here are Jim and John Thomas (of Wild Wild West infamy), and it really shouldn't come as that much of a shock. To these guys, an original idea is one that's only been filmed five times.

Our plot finds two astronaut crews about to depart for the angriest (and reddest) of planets: Mars. While the early portion of the film could have dealt with the thrill humanity feels at the exploration of a new planet, we are instead shown some silly male-bonding scenes and then boom - We're on Mars. There's a large CGI scene, and then a few more, then the credits. Solid actors (Don Cheadle, Tim Robbins, Gary Sinise) wander around, looking for something to do until they stop. Unfortunately, that something is usually to simply look up and say "...whoa...". Of course, the Mars surface promises secrets to life on Earth, but by the time they're offered, you'll either be asleep or harrassing the ticket girl for a refund.

Throughout his varied career, De Palma has often been accused of being a 'rip-off' artist, especially where Alfred Hitchcock's techniques are concerned. That may be true, but he really feasts at the director salad bar here. He most blatantly copies Spielberg here, although there are also equal doses of Kubrick, Ridley Scott and even Jan de Bont! These copies could be forgiven if the movie had formed into some cohesive whole, but it doesn't even come close. (The ending is so familiar, Richard Dreyfuss should sue.)

While the actors are pretty game, there's really no reason to get behind them, as the whole affair seems lazy, forced, and simply a frame to hang a bunch of special effects on. The usually reliable actors are completely wasted, since the overly-familiar plot will constantly distract you from anything positive the movie may have to offer.

While it tries to offer a few 'surprises', you'll see everything coming a mile away. The screenplay is just really terrible, and that just shows the near-contempt the studio obviously has for the audience. They don't care about making a good movie, as long as the flashing lights draw the kids in for a big opening weekend. If I hadn't seen this technique used about 30 times in the past 5 years, I'd be insulted.

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originally posted: 03/26/00 06:55:10
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User Comments

6/21/18 Louise Not gonna see it but the bad reviews are such fun to read!! 1 stars
3/25/18 morris campbell it sux 1 stars
10/10/09 Gary What a piece of shit! I wouldn't even wipe my ass with the film reel. HORRIBLE 1 stars
9/29/09 CSB Pure rubbish... 1 stars
10/31/08 Shaun Wallner Very Boring! 1 stars
2/04/08 Pamela White mission average 3 stars
11/18/07 Tee Given a choice, I'd rather watch a sewer than this again. 1 stars
5/01/07 Indrid Cold Not so bad. Obviously De Palma was going for a 2001-style slow-paced elegance. 3 stars
2/09/07 David Pollastrini HORRIBLE, ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE 1 stars
8/18/05 ES Gary Sinise & Tim Robbins I thought forn sure this thing was going to rock 3 stars
2/21/05 Captain Craig Should have paid for a technical advisor. Missed potential 2 stars
1/28/05 Charlie I would rather have my fingnails torn off with pliers than have to sit through this again! 1 stars
9/27/04 P.Rodriguez Grossly Underated. 5 stars
8/11/04 Nikolai Soviet techno propels uppity from nihilistic psychotic compatriots to wanton skanks embrace 1 stars
7/29/04 Evan Good God! what a load of crap. 1 stars
5/31/04 Nobody Has absolutely no believeability. 1 stars
2/18/04 john unbelievably bad - so bad it becomes an achievement in being bad 1 stars
2/04/04 Jingo P. NOT the way De Palma should end his career. Bland, lame, and HUGELY cliched. 2 stars
1/04/04 Jeanette I thought it was great. positive ending 5 stars
11/30/03 john hard to believe until you actually see it - unbelievably bad! 1 stars
7/06/03 Jack Sommersby Technically adept but emotionally aloof. 2 stars
2/18/03 P.Rodriguez If da "pretty crappy" kiddies wanna go watch a mov I suggst SWEp1 so u can get off on jaja 5 stars
2/11/03 Ubu the Ripper Proof that Brian DePalma was replaced with a retard lookalike who can't direct. 1 stars
10/24/02 Charles Tatum Better than Red Planet 4 stars
10/23/02 Keely Allison When the end credits rolled, I had to wake up the two friends who were with me 1 stars
9/24/02 Eric 7of9, I heartily agree. Great movie for those who ever dreamed of discovery. 5 stars
6/18/02 7of9 Get Fu#@ed brainless idiots out there, everybody else enjoy 4 stars
2/26/02 Butterbean "The Best sci-fi since Contact"? That's not a compliment, but it sums up my review, Ric 2 stars
1/23/02 Jim Zzzzzzzzzzzz 2 stars
1/18/02 Spyguy2 WOW this sucked...Gary Sinise looked like he was in drag 2 stars
12/08/01 Monster W. Kung Unoriginal, but not nearly as awful as the idiots say. Wait for cable. 3 stars
8/27/01 ric Best sci-fi since Contact. 5 stars
8/09/01 E-Funk Bob, Lord Of Evil wrote the greatest fucking review...this movie is awful. 1 stars
8/07/01 rtheerman i love sinise, the music, but needed more meat to the script. Slow doesn't = good. 4 stars
8/06/01 badfish Call me mindless i dont care.Loved it,own it! 5 stars
7/04/01 Monday Morning Pretty good...compared to "Cabin Boy". 2 stars
7/01/01 chad I just want the car he drove in the begging 2 stars
4/24/01 I love movies pretty bad............................................................................... 2 stars
4/10/01 Gary This is a stupid and boring movie. 1 stars
3/07/01 Mike Whoever puts anything other than total crap should be shot with DePalma! 1 stars
2/23/01 INCUBATOR C`mon, people, it`s good and it could be true from the scientific point of view. 4 stars
1/16/01 bats oh, what crap! oh, what BORING crap! 1 stars
12/17/00 Tom it wasn't that bad! God, try watching Battlefield Earth, then you'll know a bad film! 3 stars
11/23/00 Tob1 A waste of my precious time..See you in court mr DePalma 1 stars
11/14/00 KyLe*BrOfLoVsKi Hopelessly depressing yet devoid of any sort of nuance. Robbins and Sinise deserve better. 2 stars
9/30/00 lainey louise worse fuckin movie i've seen 1 stars
9/18/00 Suzz Bad. Really, really bad. 1 stars
6/16/00 Terry B. This movie sucked more than any other movie has ever sucked before. 1 stars
5/07/00 punkass Not as bad as some have suggested, I have seen many, many worse films this year. 3 stars
5/05/00 Konnektedzki Bad dialog, bad plot, bad science, and an all-star cast in the worst roles of their careers 1 stars
4/29/00 MR joel harwood . 1 stars
4/29/00 Richard Wright After 2 hours of this utter tripe I expected was a great ending so I waited and.. WHAT?! 1 stars
4/21/00 Danny Sykes Good concept that was very underrated 4 stars
4/20/00 Maclay01 Derivative yes. Hokey yes. Homogenized yes. But good sci-fi & great FX. Come on its Disney! 4 stars
4/18/00 Brien OMG that SUCKED! 1 stars
4/16/00 Steve Brian DePalma can't direct a movie and this is no exception 1 stars
4/10/00 Garry Johnstone A truly appalling movie. 1 stars
4/10/00 Louis SUCKS 1 stars
4/10/00 lazt lighten up,it's good sci-fi fun!!! 4 stars
4/08/00 burton t. e. miller sloooooowwwww.... 2 stars
4/07/00 SID I was expecting cow shit, and I ended up really enjoying it. Maybe you will too. 4 stars
4/06/00 kohawk the movie was so fucking funny that instead of leaving, I stayed if only to ridicule it 1 stars
4/06/00 Bruce so bad it was laughable 1 stars
4/03/00 PJ Why DePalma, Your talented, the movie was a kiddie movie with no substance, and theme. 2 stars
4/01/00 Pat L 120 minutes instead of 90 because of too much sloppy emotion. Zero-G dance scene was nice. 2 stars
4/01/00 entropy I thought hollywood finally got the idea, i guess not 1 stars
3/27/00 Lame-Oh holy Swiss cheese, it blows. makes the folks at NASA look like morons 1 stars
3/26/00 ITCHYPINGY mission to mars? more like mission to your anus, this movie blows ass chunks! 1 stars
3/26/00 Malbert mission to HELL!!!! what the fuck?!?!?! 1 stars
3/25/00 Chartsy Oh, the humanity! I can't believe movies like this are made. 1 stars
3/25/00 malcolm not the action film i hoped for but still very good. robbins' last scene was wonderful. 4 stars
3/25/00 Lipian This movie is the biggest piece of shit that I have ever seen. Fuck you Mission to Mars 1 stars
3/22/00 Kandor I forgot that I'd seen this movie by the time I got home! Even the special effects suck! 1 stars
3/21/00 Laura ouch. that one hurt 1 stars
3/21/00 dash Pretty cool. No monsters, invading aliens or evil machines. Some actual thought occurred. 4 stars
3/19/00 Adam I get the feeling this is gonna clean up at the Razzies next year... 1 stars
3/19/00 Kris Reilly Wonderful cinematography. Stiff dialogue and acting, corny music, and a very corny ending. 3 stars
3/17/00 Dirty Dave Capone horrible movie, did anyone catch the CORNY music played throughout this shitty movie?SUCKS! 1 stars
3/15/00 Sine This film's so bad, it's hilarious. You've gotta see it, if only to redefine 'bad' 4 stars
3/15/00 pipeman looks good, but otherwise is painful to watch. Ack. Ptui. 1 stars
3/15/00 Lame-Oh Houston, we have a problem. It's a sissy movie. 1 stars
3/14/00 Stan Wright It's no Oscar winner, but still a good sci-fi ride. 4 stars
3/14/00 Ataraxia In a'serious' scientific movie you really shouldn't break the laws of physics several times 2 stars
3/14/00 Richard Lewis Pretty disappointing, and I worked on it! 2 stars
3/14/00 Terrance Phillip This movie is like none other before, please for the love of god don't see it. 1 stars
3/13/00 JonnyAngel plop...plop... 2 stars
3/13/00 Captain Highcrime Yet another attempt by H'wood to explain the meaning of life. BORING! 2 stars
3/13/00 woo hoo Ehhh....good if you like schmaltz 1 stars
3/13/00 eric 'reverend' maultsby tried to be contact but profoundly failed, go see the ninth gate 2 stars
3/13/00 Jim The future is lame: SUV dunebuggy elec. cars, recursive self vidtaping, Van Halen in zeroG? 2 stars
3/13/00 Matt Bad science, corny lines, wooden delivery. Still, they go to mars! go see this! 3 stars
3/12/00 Louis OH. MY. GOD. this movie sucked in the worst way. see wonderboys instead 1 stars
3/12/00 Brian I kept hoping for it to redeem itself, but it just kept pulling out sci-fi cliches 1 stars
3/12/00 TimmyToday Was as cold and distant as the planet Mars is from earth. 2 stars
3/11/00 Antigone Great material for Mystery Science Theater! Remember, don't drink and laugh your ass off. 1 stars
3/11/00 it sucked really bad. 1 stars
3/11/00 ladislau Erik, you're right! Good-old-plain movies are rare these times! Two fingers up! 4 stars
3/11/00 mike b depalma's done it again. ripped everyone off to make another mediocre genre movie. avoid!!! 1 stars
3/11/00 Ben Ryan Too much story in a poorly acted storyline.. 3 stars
3/11/00 Xalt Got cheesy at the end. 3 stars
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  10-Mar-2000 (PG-13)



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