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Overall Rating

Awesome: 11.11%
Worth A Look: 9.88%
Average: 13.58%
Pretty Bad40.74%
Total Crap: 24.69%

5 reviews, 51 user ratings

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Skulls, The
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by Scott Weinberg

"Welcome to the world's best-known Secret Society!"
1 stars

Anyone ever NOT see a movie about a 'bland working class hero who compromises his ethics in order to fit in with the rich & powerful, only to discover too late that his new friends are evil and must now fight to regain his freedom and also expose the criminals'? Well, here's another one. With a fresh perspective or some enjoyable performances, it's certainly possible to breathe new life into almost any genre, but this silly movie fails at every turn. It's also really really stupid.

Sheesh. Where to begin? Of course I had read about how monumentally moronic this movie is, but I always like to give every movie its fair shot. So I grabbed it from the video shelf, and went home looking forward to watching a movie I'd never seen before. (It doesn't happen that often at my video store.) I was fully prepared to rate the movie on its own merits (if any), and not let my opinion be altered by all the bad buzz.

Ten minutes later, I was wishing I had rented Where the Heart Is.

Some typically bland TV-show refugee actor (this time it's the staggeringly vapid Joshua Jackson of Dawson's Dreck) plays our "hero", a college ROWER who craves acceptance into a secret college society, known cleverly as The Skulls. (OooooWeeeeeeOoooooo!) Now, I describe this society as "secret" mainly because that's how it's constantly described in the movie. Ooh, 'it's a secret'. But for a secret society, they're doing a pretty damn good job of being omnipresent; The castle-like clubhouse has this gigantic SKULL on the roof. All the newly inducted members receive brand-new sports cars, big nasty scars on their wrists AND a fancy Rolex to cover the scar. ALL the students ever talk about is The Skulls and who is a member and who's not and skull skull skull. But don't forget - it's a secret.

A particularly stupid student sets out to expose the organization, only to wind up inadvertently demised. At every turn, the main idiot is met by some ominous authority figure that (of course) turns out to be a member of The Skulls! We've got tapped phones, bugged apartments, double-crosses, questionable motives, insipid dialogue, moronic plot contrivances and ridiculous chases. I've seen more exciting 'thrillers' on the Cooking Channel.

As an actor, Joshua Jackson rates somewhere between Kirk Cameron and Keanu Reeves. The only entertainment to be found in this movie lies in trying to figure out which emotion Josh is trying to convey. Anguish? Contentment? Bad Gas? Puberty? Faring only somewhat better is Paul (She's All That) Walker as the Perfect Blond Guy. But since his entire role consists of taking off his shirt while sweating, I don't know how impressive that really is. For fans of those "I KNOW that guy!" character actors, you've got a full plate here: William (Manhunter) Petersen, Christopher (Happy Gilmore) McDonald, and Craig (Poltergeist) are all on hand as some of the gloomy Head Skulls. (Ha Ha - Head Skulls! An accidental gag!) Unfortunately, these actors are given nothing to do, aside from glower menacingly, frown sternly, pontificate ponderously, and occasionally walk through a room.

None of these complaints would matter one iota if only this nonsensical movie were any FUN! But it isn't. The Skulls lazily offers subplots from a half-dozen other (considerably smarter) movies, a handful of familiar actors, and a screenplay that was better off back when it was lining Michael J. Fox's bird-cage.

It's blatantly evident that movies of this sort are quickie slop jobs, hoping to gain a theatrical release while the leading man is still in minute 9 of his '15 minutes of fame'. The Skulls is pretty damn stupid, but the sheer emptiness of it prevents me from truly hating it; I watched this movie two days ago, and can remember nothing at all about it, except that it annoyed me.

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originally posted: 11/06/00 16:08:13
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User Comments

8/07/14 Albert Valentin It was okay. Followed by two unnecessary sequels. 3 stars
9/03/08 Shaun Wallner This ones ok. 3 stars
10/11/06 Baldeadly Got it today for 4euro in HMV! GREAT! old skool but Good! 4 stars
6/28/05 Seamless Randy Edelman's opening score was good. The film itself was badly done & forgettable..Yuk! 1 stars
5/27/05 buddy horrible, josh and paul probably put it in each other. 1 stars
10/15/04 Vince Entertaining 4 stars
8/20/04 Hannah Joshua and Paul-very nice,I like it! 5 stars
7/29/04 DM Made by numbskulls 1 stars
1/15/04 Samuel i think this movie is very underrated i thought it was pretty decent 4 stars
1/08/04 A F It was very something or other! 2 stars
8/20/03 Monster W. Kung If you like this movie, you should be shot in the skull. 1 stars
5/21/03 Chewy This movie ROCKED! Paul Walker is so fucking hot! 5 stars
4/25/03 Jack Sommersby Initially involves but soon turns too darn silly. 2 stars
1/05/03 Sully well, movie was okay....nothing more than that.... 3 stars
11/12/02 Fonq35 The Skulls, the Snake and Skellingtons, the tosh and nonsense... 2 stars
6/28/02 Film Dude If anybody asks you to watch this, you break their nose. I'm serious. Fucking do it. 1 stars
6/13/02 Cat Great film, slightly lacking originality but still pretty enjoyable recommendable 4 stars
5/25/02 Film Guy Surprisingly good 4 stars
3/16/02 sarah z i loved it 4 stars
1/23/02 Andrew Carden I Guess It Depends If You're In The Mood For A Tasteless, But Suspenseful Movie. 3 stars
1/16/02 David A. It gets kind of preachy on the anti-elite schtick 3 stars
10/02/01 Phoenix Absolutly horrid. I couldn't believe what I was watching. 1 stars
9/04/01 Jagr Fricking Jones Awesome movie, see it now, do not wait. WE ARE WATCHING. 5 stars
8/19/01 Monster W. Kung Painfully stupid. The love scene, the rope and duel ones must be witnessed to be believed. 1 stars
6/25/01 Dean Ridiculous and lame-brained; the plot twists are some of the stupidest I've ever seen. 1 stars
6/03/01 Thrillhouse Bash my Lexus and I will punch you! 1 stars
5/11/01 nrh24 this was a very good movie 5 stars
5/03/01 JesseL This could have been a great movie but instead it.... 1 stars
5/01/01 Pete Zahut Who designed Skull Headquarters, Lex Luthor? What a waste of time 1 stars
4/25/01 MOVIE fuck but im fucker from SKULLS clan 4 stars
4/03/01 Boy In The Designer Bubble Break my car window and I'lll kill you too!!! 1 stars
3/23/01 TNT-6 Muahahahaha... People coming off the building with ropes... gimme a break. 2 stars
3/06/01 duke it was awesome 5 stars
2/05/01 Kate cute cast but nothing ever went below a superficial surface & the ending lacked any closure 2 stars
11/10/00 Andrei Raiu I liked the movie .......... maybe i'm just dumb. or maybe it's you??? :) 5 stars
11/09/00 Nicole I don't know who you "critics" think you are but I don't see any of you on the Big Screen. 5 stars
11/07/00 Matthew Bartley really really bad like a Scooby Doo movie gone wrong 1 stars
10/18/00 Monday Morning Not interesting, not intriguing, not frightening, not funny...NOT MUCH. 2 stars
7/09/00 Purple Monster A film for numbskulls !!! 2 stars
5/13/00 Kyle Broflovski I agree with Obi Wan & obvious to be sinister & too overhyped to deliver... 3 stars
4/29/00 caroline i loved it 5 stars
4/25/00 Obi Wan How secret can a society be...when it's mentioned every 3 minutes in the movie????? 3 stars
4/14/00 Des ahhh...entertaining... 3 stars
4/11/00 Nolan Wrage If the Skulls were a hush hush society, every one and their fucking brother knew about it 1 stars
4/09/00 EMagGaRony kind of pathetic... not scary at all... didn't live up to the hype.. 3 stars
4/07/00 Belac Drakeman Breezy entertainment; perfect way to spend a listless Wednesday afternoon, & Jackson rules 5 stars
4/06/00 "Persnickety" a good movie gone horribly wrong, nice way to screw it up! 3 stars
4/04/00 Mr. Kramitall what' with those Dawson's Creek and Party of Five casts? 2 stars
4/02/00 fb not a bad flick at all 4 stars
4/01/00 TimmyToday I couldn't stand to watch my club being slandered in such a stupid movie. 2 stars
3/31/00 Andi C. I thought it was good enough to see again 3 stars
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  31-Mar-2000 (PG-13)


  06-Jul-2000 (M)

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