Sigh. 1996. What an innocent year. A year where a shit film with big hype could still make a killing at the box office.This was the year that made my cynical. You know why? It was because of this movie. Independance Day. All of that year I was thinking, "this movie is gonna kill ALL ASS! EVERY SINGLE ASS THAT IS ELIGIBLE FOR KICKING IT WILL KICK."
But it sucked. It smelled of shit.
The movie follows an invasions of midgets in latex suits which attempt to pass themselves as aliens. Weak ass aliens. I mean, Will Smith can knock one of them fuckers out just by punching it. Then later on it takes three guys with guns to take it down. What the hell is up with that? What kind of pansy assed alien is that? It's either they're strong enough to get shot a bajillion times and STILL stay standing or they are weak ass aliens that don't stand up by themselves.
However, during this "massive" attack from the aliens, the humans attempt to defend themselves, but get totally beaten up. I mean JESUS christ they're asses get whipped. After which more fun and 'splosions occur.
This film, people, is filled with clichés. Allusions to Rosswell, Area 51, etc. Quite frankly, it's plot/script is horrid. Absolute shite. It's something that I could whip up while on uppers and a pint of scottish ale.
And you know the "special effects"? The so called "wicked" special effects that the studios hyped SOOOOO much? .... THEY SUCKED! OH THEY WERE VILE PIECES OF SHIT! Sure, the effects were good in the beginning, but I wager that they spent all $100 million on making that space ship. You'll notice that as the film drags along, the effects get shittier, and shittier, and shittier. Oh GOD, I was laughing! I could have sworn I saw the strings that held up the backdrops...
It was this movie that formed my now existing theory that all big budget flicks SUCK. Nothing so far has proved this wrong (prove me wrong, kids. Prove me wrong). Because of this movie, I now have nagging doubts whenever I walk into a Godzilla or even an Armageddon that this film will stink. Usually, I walk out content in the fact that my theory has yet to be wronged.Oh Independance Day... you failed me. Failed me BIG time.