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Overall Rating
4

Awesome55.56%
Worth A Look: 20.63%
Average: 0%
Pretty Bad: 15.87%
Total Crap: 7.94%

3 reviews, 45 user ratings


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Hardware
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by Scott Weinberg

"The longest music video I've ever seen. Carnage and strobe lights"
2 stars

One of those after the apocalypse things, but not with like tons of motorcycles and people stabbing each other in the throat for a handful of water. Nope, the other kind--The machines will all take over and decide to wipe out humans because we're not productive enough or some such futuristic propaganda.

In very overdirected and showy fashion, some guy discovers an old robot carcass in the desert. Being the typical male, he figures this disgusting artifact would make a perfect gift for his girlfriend. Turns out she's some kind of artsy-fartsy welder, like in Flashdance! Anyway, she loves the gross thing, throws it on the floor, and they drop to screw with very strategic lighting that suggests that perhaps we're not looking directly at her bare boobs anyway.

After that, is this: The robot activates itself, and starts slaughtering people. That's pretty much it, until it gets itself blowed up and good. If it seems that I've offered perhaps not enough 'plot exposition', try this: Make some whirring noises with your lips (robot activates itself), make some small explosions noises followed by little screams of horror (that's the slaughtering)...then make a deep booming sound. (That's the nasty robot getting his own damn medicine. Yeah, humanity.)

There are a few particular standouts, like the disgusting peeping-tom slob who gets a nasty death, and the aforementioned grind and hump scenes, which I feel are always integral to the advancement of the plot in most futuristic action-horror retreads.

Yeah, you could do worse in the sci-fi/horror department, but maybe you could also just raise your standards a little instead. This one is heavy on the stylish, artsy, fresh out of film school gyrations, but there's more meat on Kate Moss than there is in this plot. Some solid carnage, but you can get that anywhere, only with considerably fewer strobe lights.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=2184&reviewer=128
originally posted: 10/19/99 22:14:07
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User Comments

10/04/14 cykodrone Was released 24 years ago, are we not headed there? 4 stars
1/24/12 PAUL SHORTT WELL MADE BUT VIOLENT LOW-BUDGET SCI-FI HORROR 2 stars
12/20/10 David W. The grittiest, realest, post apocalyptic cinema and score to be put on film! 5 stars
3/22/10 Zzzt Slow, utterly predictable, amazingly dull, cheesy 2 stars
12/01/09 action movie fan good story and special effects but way too arty, with sleepwalking persformances-flopped 2 stars
10/31/09 Just Some Guy Everyone is mad from grief, unlike the hypercalm survivors of other end-world films—see it! 4 stars
10/15/09 porfle After a long overdue rewatch, I love this movie. 4 stars
10/02/06 Pritchett Came highly recommended. I thought it sucked ass. 'Hope DUST DEVIL is better. 1 stars
7/12/06 ian afford cack 1 stars
4/04/05 Ric All style and no substance, with zero intrigue or suspense. 1 stars
2/27/05 mike one of the best 5 stars
2/03/05 Marine Dude Awesome shower scene with a pup Dylan McDermott naked ..... that part alone is worth it 5 stars
7/31/04 Lincoln F. Stern This movie is a "cult classic", I really liked this movie! Where can I buy it? 5 stars
7/30/04 Miffo2000 This is even better than Lord of the Rings 5 stars
6/27/04 Eddie Seen it once, and would love to watch it again with the Lights OFF!! 5 stars
4/12/04 Nikolai Stars&Stripes droid makeover herasy to Bush's 'Kinder, gentler' peace loving democracy 5 stars
11/11/03 MacMillan It is our future, I am afraid. 5 stars
10/19/03 Sugarfoot Well worth renting! 4 stars
3/22/03 Jack Sommersby Initially interesting but lamely followed through upon. 2 stars
2/10/03 Xupmapisse Great movie... excelent soundtrack 5 stars
1/26/03 Lorrie Gorey best Sci Fi of the 90's, period 5 stars
1/06/03 S23 Great movie, one of my favorites. Excellent soundtrack. 5 stars
6/03/02 Big Crull Easily on my 10 best movies ever list 5 stars
4/26/02 Charles Tatum Also check out Stanley's Dust Devil 4 stars
4/12/02 Shadowy Grave Scary when I was younger. Liked the futuristic imagery and music. Too much focus on sex. 4 stars
4/05/02 Gehin Carl McCoy... drool 5 stars
3/02/02 Alan Smithee Very gory and very silly, but in a cool way. 4 stars
2/05/02 Stephen C This is a stylish and highly underrated film. Its true meaning is subtle and overlooked. 5 stars
1/24/02 Jake Intense movie with great action. Jill flying through glass. Violent but not overly sick. 5 stars
1/13/02 John Great piece of B cinema. Great sound and editing effects. 9/10 5 stars
12/24/01 HOJU The '5 Stars - Awesome' rating would not do it justice! 5 stars
10/14/01 John Dziurlaj A movie that will become a classic for all time.... 5 stars
9/13/01 eva wonderful film 5 stars
6/13/01 blap Brilliant — a Terminator remake with great soundtrack 5 stars
6/12/01 Gene Genius filmmaking. Anyone who picks at this movie for being cliched is missing the point. 5 stars
3/17/01 Ratatosk My favorite movie. It's got Ministry on the audio and GWAR on the video. 5 stars
3/14/01 Sthenno Amazingly gripping film with a great atmosphere,cast,acting and images of violence. 5 stars
11/08/00 Anders This is one of the best sci-fi movies ever made, Richard Stanley is a genius. 5 stars
11/03/00 Mark and Bob This film was the biggest bag o wank we've ever seen !! 1 stars
8/27/00 Steve Zeldow One of the 5 best Sci-Fi movies ever 5 stars
6/20/00 C.B. Yeah--what Max said! 5 stars
3/15/00 Steve THE worst fucking movie of all time! 1 stars
1/03/00 Max Sparber Hardware is exactly what a silly, comic-book inspired scie-fi/action/horror film should be. 5 stars
1/02/00 Nugget I just saw this movie-(kicks ass)- but if someone else did it, it would be alot better 5 stars
11/04/99 V. Stanley is vastly underrated. 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  02-Jul-1990 (R)

UK
  02-Feb-1991 (18)

Australia
  02-Feb-1991 (R)




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