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Overall Rating
1.69

Awesome: 6.25%
Worth A Look: 12.5%
Average: 0%
Pretty Bad: 6.25%
Total Crap75%

1 review, 10 user ratings


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King Cobra
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by Keiros

"Everything the term B-grade stands for."
1 stars

Blockbuster video have shamelessly put a sticker on the cover that says,"If you enjoyed Anaconda,rent this video".Had they have said I would enjoy this film if I enjoyed Anaconda,my lawyers would have had me OWNING Blockbuster inside of a week.

Using the afore mentioned Anaconda as a comparison may seem a bit unfair, but what the hell. Blockbuster did it first.

To begin, Anaconda had some good acting talent involved such as Jon Voight, Eric Stoltz(in a coma) and wannabe Ice Cube. King Cobra has Pat Morita as a world renowned snake expet who injects himself with snake venom so he won't die the next time he gets bit.Pat must have been behind in a mortgage payment that month. Lets face it, Pat hasn't exactly been BUSY since the Karate Kid franchise went belly-up a few years back and now it seems he has to resort to trash like this to keep the suction from dragging his career around the S-bend. Seeing him fighting a thirty foot rubber snake, shouting lines such as,"Is that all you got?"literally brought tears to my eyes.But that, my friends, is not the worst of it.Remember Erik Estrada? Think CHiPs.Yep, the Mexican motorcycle cop. Well, he must have renewed his 'Greencard' or slipped under the fence because he turns up.I swear, the Brothers Hillenbrand(the people to blame for this) must have seen Pat depressed so they grabbed Erik for this cameo so Pat would feel better about himself.There is no other plausible explanation.

Next, we have the snake itself.Anaconda was a digitally created masterpiece by Sony Pictures Image Works,with very life-like animatronics by Edge Innovations.It moved, it swam, it climbed, it ate people.It looked REAL. The namesnake(sorry, had to slip that in)of this film is thirty foot of rubber dragged through the forest by a couple of work experience kids. The head(which wouldn't look out of place in pre-school arts and crafts)has these fangs which drop out on hinges when the thing is meant to bite someone for bad acting.This snake was done on the cheap and it SHOWS.

Anaconda's story was a documentary film crew looking for a bunch of indians in the Amazon and finding the snake.King Cobra's story line was pillaged from several better films.To whit, these scientists are genetically engineering these animals for life saving medical research(Sound familiar? It's no secret this film was rushed through production before Deep Blue Sea made it to the screens).Then two of the scientists blow themselves up, and the snake gets out.Then we have the Jaws storyline of a small town that is on the brink of financial success so when word of the snake gets around, the powers that be keep it hush hush.After that the script disappears.

And finally, Anaconda is destined to become a classic.Not for reviving the giant critter genre.Not for innovative special effects.Not even for the regurgitation scene.But for 90 minutes of Ice Cube struggling not to swear.King Cobra will be forgotten ten minutes after I submit this review.

Please, for the dignity of Pat Morita, dont rent this film.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=2249&reviewer=163
originally posted: 10/16/99 04:52:57
[printer] printer-friendly format  

User Comments

2/18/08 A True American Erik Estrada is Puerto RIcan (one of yours) not Mexican you racist asshole! 2 stars
4/23/07 David Risser Fake snake. bad acting, bad storyline/plot, jaws ripoff, need I say more? 1 stars
11/26/06 Rattrap007 Great for a laugh. Estrada's cameo alone is so bad it is worth the rental fee. 4 stars
1/11/05 Mark Louis Baumgart What a stinking turd. Better than Python tho. Chido Bros. need new agents. 1 stars
1/11/05 jennifer walp i think the movie was worth seeing and i enjoyed watching it. 4 stars
8/04/03 Renegade Bushido If you must see this movie, listen for a Temple of Doom ripoff line near the climax. 1 stars
7/14/03 Gary ***** 5 stars
12/29/02 Jack Sommersby Lame, unimaginative, and unscary. 1 stars
8/19/02 STEVE WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO PATMORITA IS CRIMINALY INSANE AND INHUMANE!!GIVE HIM ANOTHER GOODROL 1 stars
8/23/00 zall crap 1 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  10-Aug-1999 (PG-13)

UK
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Australia
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