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Overall Rating
3.97

Awesome42.11%
Worth A Look: 26.32%
Average: 21.05%
Pretty Bad: 7.89%
Total Crap: 2.63%

3 reviews, 20 user ratings


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Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
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by Hawkboy

"Roger Ebert writes this and then dares to criticize movies?"
3 stars

Alright, I admit I rented this movie for the wrong reasons. I'd seen a couple Russ Meyer films, and they were exciting, to say the least. And this one's supposed to be his masterpiece. Piffle, I say. It's an interesting portrait of the sixties, but man, oh man, is it stupid.

So, anyway, three girls with large breasts go off to Hollywood, because they're in a band and they want to make it big. Plus, one of them has an aunt who lives out there and is a famous designer or something. She too has large breasts. The large-breasted aunt introduced the large-breasted band and their sissy male friend to the CRAZY 1960's flower-power scene of LA. They are all corrupted by it. Lots of crazy shit happens. It all ends badly for our large-breasted protagonists.

If you've read this last paragraph, you'll realise that Russ Meyer likes his breasts big. He also likes wicked-fast editing (MTV would not exist without him) and corny dialogue. The movie itself is a loose parody of "The Valley of the Dolls", a famous book and movie about girls trying to make it in LA. That book was not as good, however, for the author foolishly left out the Z-Man. Yes, the Z-Man is what makes this movie the exciting feverish cornucopia of sex, drugs, and rock and roll that it is. The Z-Man (apparently based on Phil Spector, though I kinda hope not - I have respect for Phil) is the central figure in the topsy-turvy world that our large-breasted heroes are enveloped in, and he is a sinister figure with a dark secret and a really sissy way of talking. He's gay, I think. Or is he?

When Roger Ebert and Mr. Meyer were writing this, I bet they were laughing their asses off, because there are some of the most ludicrous and senseless plot twists I've ever seen. I can imagine the writing sessions:

Russ: Let's make this guy lose feeling in his legs!

Roger: Let's make this guy a woman in disguise!

Russ: And he'll kill everyone!

Roger: Hey, we haven't had any nude scenes in a few pages.

Russ: You read my mind.

Roger: I like big tits.

Russ: Me too!

Roger: I like to squeeze them.

Russ: <drools> boobies, boobies, boobies.

This movie hasn't aged well, I'm afraid. Unlike "Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!", an earlier effort of Meyer's, which has managed to stay brilliantly satirical, BVD is goofy, a little sad, and curiously and unnecessarily violent at the end. But it is entertaining, in a sick, looking at a car crash kind of way. It's marvelously filmed, the dialogue is hilariously bad ("You will drink the black sperm of my vengeance!" - Greatest movie line. EVER. Fuck you, "Rosebud".) and the performances are cute and wooden. It's like an Ed Wood movie with big tits.

Watch this movie with a few friends and a few beers, and it's the greatest movie ever made, for that particular evening. But, just as is the case with most one-night things, you look back on it in the morning, and you feel really dirty. At least this movie doesn't have the risk of giving you the clap.

If you want a funny Russ Meyer movie, rent "Pussycat". If you want big boobs and lots of sex, rent "Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens". This movie's kind of in between. It's the Jan Brady of the Russ Meyer catalog.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=2267&reviewer=27
originally posted: 10/24/99 06:02:52
[printer] printer-friendly format  
OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2004 Philadelphia Film Festival. For more in the 2004 Philadelphia Film Festival series, click here.
OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2005 Sydney Film Festival For more in the 2005 Sydney Film Festival series, click here.

User Comments

10/14/11 mr.mike The lesbo make-outs make it worth a rental. 3 stars
4/18/11 Lizzie sucky 1 stars
7/03/09 Josie Cotton is a goddess Along with 'Murder My Sweet' and any Neil Simon movie, this has some of the best dialogue 4 stars
10/20/08 Monster A Go-Go Groovy go-go sequel (in name only)! Drink the black sperm of my vengance! HA! 5 stars
11/26/07 MatrixPSD Coolest movie ever...if you dont like it ...you dont get it! 5 stars
7/15/06 michael first one was better but still worth seeing 4 stars
7/15/06 Alfred Guy Classic stuff! Jaw dropping! 5 stars
6/18/06 CTT "Taste the black sperm of my vengeance!!" 4 stars
5/30/04 Kezi Freaking hilarious and John lazar couldnt be any hotter... 5 stars
4/20/04 Hilarium It's a groaner. 2 stars
5/09/03 Andrew Carden Campy and Fun, but Doesn't Have The Spark Or Good Characters Like The 1st. 3 stars
8/08/02 Michael P Maybe I'll make it as a hairdresser? 5 stars
8/31/01 Even I've never seen anytthing like it, and the music was cool! 4 stars
8/05/01 Biohazard This is my review and I'm freaking out. 5 stars
4/18/01 Strawberry Snooze Button This movie is SO BAD, it's the BEST movie EVER MADE!!! 5 stars
3/03/01 GeorgE McCaul This is one of my favorite movies, I really enjoy the music and Casey is the best. 5 stars
2/15/01 Dai The black sperm thinks this is the greatest movie ever! 5 stars
9/08/00 The King of the Bros I am SuperWoman! 5 stars
2/08/00 Chrissy T Stay cool, Teddy Bear!The sleaze, the cheeze, blame Russ Meyer and the E man. 2 stars
10/24/99 Meepos Hell in a handbasket, this really was awful. In a funny way. 2 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  17-Jun-1970 (NC-17)
  DVD: 13-Jun-2006

UK
  N/A (18)

Australia
  17-Jun-1970 (R)


Directed by
  Russ Meyer

Written by
  Roger Ebert
  Russ Meyer

Cast
  Dolly Reed
  Cynthia Meyers
  Marcia McBroom
  John Lazar
  Michael Blodgett



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