More in-depth film festival coverage than any other website!
Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
Advertisement

Overall Rating
1

Awesome: 0%
Worth A Look: 0%
Average: 0%
Pretty Bad: 0%
Total Crap100%

1 review, 0 user ratings


Latest Reviews

Fortress, The (2017) by Jay Seaver

MFA by Jay Seaver

You Only Live Once by Jay Seaver

November (2017) by Jay Seaver

Friendly Beast by Jay Seaver

Foreigner, The (2017) by Jay Seaver

Tom of Finland by Rob Gonsalves

Happy Death Day by Jay Seaver

78/52: Hitchcock's Shower Scene by Jay Seaver

Death Note: Light Up the New World by Jay Seaver

subscribe to this feed


Miami Connection
[AllPosters.com] Buy posters from this movie
by Jaycie

"Tae kwon dopes."
1 stars

As a bad movie connoisseur, I've seen it all. The Room? Whatever. Batman & Robin? Boring. Plan 9 from Outer Space? Pssh. But this. THIS, people.

Imagine if someone took a garden variety 1980s martial arts movie, removed the good acting, stripped away the well-rounded characterization, sandblasted the plot development, imploded the screenplay and stomped on the production value with one of those giant Monty Python feet. The result would be Miami Connection. There is not a single level on which this film does not fail spectacularly. But if you're into that sort of thing, it's an absolute treat.

The story centers on a group of twenty-something men who live in the same house, go to the same college, play in the same shirtless rock band, help each other with their tae kwon do training and are orphans. Their band, Dragon Sound, becomes the headlining act at a rock club formerly dominated by a very resentful guy with a beard (Jack McLaughlin). Desperate to get his marquee back, he enlists the help of two groups of bikers, one typical, the other composed of drug-dealing ninjas, the second-in-command of whom (William Ergle) hates Dragon Sound for being friends with his sister (Kathie Collier).

Seriously, that's the story. Tae kwon do rock 'n' roll shirtless college orphans vs. some other rock 'n' roll guy with a beard and drug-dealing biker ninjas.

Awesome.

Like many of its ilk, Miami Connection was made by a newcomer to America who had no idea how to make movies, in this case Korean-born Y.K. Kim, who also "stars" as Dragon Sound's lead guitarist. Like The Room's Tommy Wiseau, he makes himself the hero of the movie, especially its entertainingly confusing fight scenes. Unlike Wiseau, he isn't nearly arrogant enough to own the cheese, and in fact does come off genuinely committed to imparting wisdom about brotherly solidarity and the value of tae kwon do. Of course, his final thoughts on world peace make no sense in context - let's just say the ultimate showdown between Dragon Sound and the drug-dealing biker ninjas would make George R.R. Martin suggest easing off a little. But there's a certain sweetness to Kim's presence that makes him just a bit more difficult to mock.

That's not to say his contributions as director, producer and writer should be given any mercy. Miami Connection's dialogue comes in two varieties: Fox News-style crosstalk and Birdemic-style stiltedness. The day-in-the-life scenes, and there are many, are each about six times longer than they need to be. As in any martial arts movie, everyone knows how to fight acceptably well, although Kim is apparently unaware that ninjas are big on stealth. (Biker ninjas. Really?) The crowning achievement in crap takes place on stage: Dragon Sound has not one but two songs to play to inexplicably rapt audiences, and we get to hear them in their entirety.

Yes, it's a martial arts movie with musical numbers. If you're not intrigued yet, there's something wrong with you.

Of all the "best worst movies" out there, Miami Connection is one of the most fun to watch. But if you don't want to sit through 83 minutes of chest hair and incoherent yelling, Dragon Sound's songs, "Friends" and "Against the Ninja," are on YouTube. Enjoy.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=23875&reviewer=432
originally posted: 04/16/15 02:46:17
[printer] printer-friendly format  
OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2012 New York Asian Film Festival For more in the 2012 New York Asian Film Festival series, click here.
OFFICIAL SELECTION: 2012 Fantasia International Film Festival For more in the Fantasia International Film Festival 2012 series, click here.
OFFICIAL SELECTION: Fantastic Fest 2012 For more in the Fantastic Fest 2012 series, click here.

IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
Note: Duplicate, 'planted,' or other obviously improper comments
will be deleted at our discretion. So don't bother posting 'em. Thanks!
Your Name:
Your Comments:
Your Location: (state/province/country)
Your Rating:


Discuss this movie in our forum

USA
  09-Nov-2012
  DVD: 11-Dec-2012

UK
  N/A

Australia
  09-Nov-2012
  DVD: 11-Dec-2012


Directed by
  Y.K. Kim
  Woo-sang Park

Written by
  Joseph Diamand

Cast
  Y.K. Kim
  Woo-Sung Park
  Vincent Hirsch
  Joseph Diamand
  William Eagle



Home Reviews  Articles  Release Dates Coming Soon  DVD  Top 20s Criticwatch  Search
Public Forums  Festival Coverage  Contests About 
eFilmCritic.com: Australia's Largest Movie Review Database.
Privacy Policy | HBS Inc. | |   

All data and site design copyright 1997-2017, HBS Entertainment, Inc.
Search for
reviews features movie title writer/director/cast