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Overall Rating

Awesome: 7.14%
Worth A Look: 14.29%
Average: 7.14%
Pretty Bad: 0%
Total Crap71.43%

1 review, 8 user ratings

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by The Ultimate Dancing Machine

"Blinded by the light"
1 stars

In the future, there is virtually no water, everyone wears rollerskates, and only a glowing basketball can save humanity. And people say they don't understand why I dis the 80s so much.

SOLARBABIES follows a bunch of bland (yeah, even Jason Patric) teenagers as they buck the establishment while encountering every post-apoc cliche imaginable. They stop every now and then to evince orgasmic delight at any and all bodies of water they find. Richard Jordan, hamming up the place as an ersatz Nazi, is out to get them.

Here is the movie so obviously in debt to the MAD MAX series that some of the bad guys are played by Australian actors. That must have been one hell of a trip across the Pacific, I tell ya. Especially since it's not even there anymore. Then there's the inept "multiethnic" casting, which makes you thankful for the advent of PC. Which is worse: the jive-talkin' black kid or the in-tune-with-Nature pseudo-Indian?

Reading the end credits is depressing. Partly because the credits scroll over shots of the kids frolicking in the ocean while a Smokey Robinson tune plays--which somehow brings back horrifying memories of RETURN TO THE BLUE LAGOON. And partly because you see Mel Brooks' name (Executive Producer), and you realize they had a fair amount of talent involved in this thing, all for a film that does nothing that wasn't done better in 2020 TEXAS GLADIATORS.

Speaking of Brooks, let's not forget that he did SPACEBALLS around the same time. The man sure knows how to run with an idea...

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originally posted: 11/14/03 19:17:31
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User Comments

5/12/10 Josie Cotton is a goddess The special effects were good, everything else could use somework. 3 stars
4/25/04 davey hopewell groovy 5 stars
3/01/04 davey hopewell so bad it's good 4 stars
1/05/04 Jen It's crapfulness makes it worth seeing. 1 stars
12/23/03 Raven Loved it... so sucks to all of you 4 stars
11/18/03 sherrill holy crap this movie blows 1 stars
11/15/03 Jack Sommersby So bad, it deserves to be arrested, convicted and executed. 1 stars
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  02-Nov-1986 (PG-13)
  DVD: 06-Mar-2007



Directed by
  Alan Johnson

Written by
  Walon Green
  D.A. Metrov

  Jason Patric
  Jami Gertz
  Lukas Haas
  James LeGros
  Richard Jordan
  Adrian Pasdar

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