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Overall Rating
2.22

Awesome: 16.67%
Worth A Look: 11.11%
Average: 5.56%
Pretty Bad: 11.11%
Total Crap55.56%

1 review, 12 user ratings



Death Wish 5: The Face of Death
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by Slyder

"The Mule Goes Back To The Hole… Again"
1 stars

You really think that after 3 horribly bad sequels, this film is actually going to be better? Ok, didn’t think so. And let’s hope this film is the last of a long sad series which killed an idea, and beat it to the ground with sequels.

Ok, the plot is the same-old, same-old, Paul Kersey loosing someone he loves and becomes a vigilante again. This time the gal (Leslie Anne Down) is murdered by her ex-husband who’s a gangster (Michael Parks) because, wait for this, he wants a piece of his ex-wife's fashion design business. Yes, because mobsters have to dress good and have great clothes to go with the sly smiles and twirls. Who could ask for a better front? Then the dead woman's daughter (Erica Lancaster) is now in play and thanks of course to some help within the system, the fashionista gangster gets the daughter, to the dismay of Kersey.

Figure out what happens next from there.

Ok the film…

Fuck it.

IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED CHARLES?

BE A FORGOTTEN ICON?

BE A STRAIGHT TO VIDEO CRAPSHOOTER?

SHAME ON YOU, SHAME ON FUCKING YOU!!!!

Actually I had a little laughter watching Kersey do some stupid death tricks like the cyanide poisoning scene on the canoli of one of the bad guys who of course has to eat it (And then later we see the main baddie taking it out on her assistant for giving him canolis for lunch. At least that scene was supposed to be funny), and an exploding football taking care of one of the bad guys's dandruff problem. An exploding football, get it? Of course the bad guy in this scene is so goddamnned stupid despite all his security in his house not to figure out why the ball is unusually heavy or why there's no kids in sight and yet he mutters "Damn kids!" Ugh...

Three more special "oh how stupid" mentions:
1) The usual dirty cop (Miguel Sandoval) who's the inside man in the force for our gangster friend and who is required to be capped by our hero Kersey later on in the movie.

2) The 3 dumbass mercenaries who splatter the warehouse with bullets and even blow up a forklift only to get later capped by Paul's little shitass short-barreled revolver.

3) The fashionista bad guy and his moronic assistant who can't seem to deal with the kidnapped little girl. I guess these two never heard of a miracle of technology called the string.

Other than that, it’s just nothing but a shitload of sadistic trash with the word “POINTLESS” splattered all over it. One guy gets shrinkwrapped, the other gets grinded, but the best is saved for last as the big fashionista gangster gets thrown into a pool of acid. Not sure where that pool of acid came from. I guess the screenwriter needed such shocking plot device and stuck it in there never wondering why would a pool of acid be there in the first place. "Nah, lets put it in there, our main bad guy has to always die a horrifying death. It has to be more exciting and shocking than just filling the bad guy's body with bullets."

Bronson is just there to cash the paycheck as always. The man seems that has lost all his dignity. Do yourself a favor Chuck, just retire. Michael Winner ditched him a movie ago. At least that guy had some self respect.

In the end, forget that this movie exists. No, FORGET THAT ALL FOUR SEQUELS EXIST!!!!

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=2592&reviewer=235
originally posted: 09/20/02 05:58:34
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User Comments

6/28/13 PAUL SHORTT RIDICULOUS RERUN OF THE ORIGINAL FILM, BADLY MADE 1 stars
9/18/06 JM Synth Inventive Deaths, and surprisingly affecting at times 4 stars
3/27/06 mr. mike ok 3 stars
5/26/04 Lance Well at least it's better then #4 2 stars
12/06/03 john it's pretty bad 1 stars
11/11/03 douglas lacayo charles bronson gets creative!! 5 stars
4/25/03 Sugarfoot Comptently made, with some inventive killings, but the movie is otherwise tired and trite. 2 stars
4/08/03 Andrew Eastenegger This movie is absolutely brilliant, like all Death Wish films. Atleast he's making money 5 stars
3/15/03 Charles Tatum God, just make it stop 1 stars
1/21/03 Andy Bronson the review above says all that needs to be said 1 stars
1/04/03 Jack Sommersby Swiftly paced nonsense; never boring, always fetching. 4 stars
9/23/02 You Wrong THIS MOVEI WAS TEH BOMB!! YUO HVAE NOO TAST E 5 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  02-Feb-1994 (R)

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