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In any case, in looking at Hot Dog . . . the Movie (and you have to just look because it is nearly impossible to watch) one really must go no further, and really should go no further, than the title itself – Hot Dog . . . the Movie. I just want to write it again – Hot Dog . . . the Movie. It may be one of the greatest movie titles of all time. There so much going on there. “The Movie”, of course, suggests that what you are about to watch is a movie. So that’s done. That’s easy. Yet “Hot Dog” is a bit more difficult. It could and, after watching the film you’ll see, does mean so many things. Of course, to the naive it may look like the film is about hot dogs. Those people are so, so wrong. Those people are stupid. I hate those people. Part of the blame for those peoples ignorance must go to those losers who decided to cash in on the awesomeness of the Hot Dog . . . the Movie title and make a movie called Hamburger . . . the Motion Picture, which IS about food and food services. Many, I think, believe the two to be related somehow in content. They are not. You see, Hot Dog . . . the Movie is about skiing and the daring testosterone driven competitions that skiing creates. So there you go. Hot Dog could be a hot dog skier. Someone who’s crazy and impressively skilled on the slopes. Now in typical sex romp fashion what’s cold on the hill will become hot in the bedroom. Here Hot Dog could be a bit sexual. The “Dog” could be referring to the penis (a part of the male genitalia.) This, obviously, is the film makers sly and naughty aim. But I believe that Hot Dog means something that the film makers never could have intended. Hot Dog . . . the Movie sucks. It is a dog. However, even though the film makes Snowballing look like Aspen Extreme it is a resplendent dog.

Hot Dog . . . the Movie has the capacity to entertain because it has no high aspirations. It’s so puerile that it even goes sub-retarded. Unless you’re still a zygote or Shannon Tweed, then you are too mature for this movie. You’ll smack your head every time any character makes a choice. You’ll cringe at every attempt at humor, at every broad and offensive cultural stereotype, at every scary episode of misogyny. But deep down on some primordial level there will be smile. There’s something Jungian about Hot Dog . . . the Movie.

What’s interesting and frightening at the same time is that I don’t know how serious the film makers are about sucking. Do they know that they suck? Were their little minds working really, really hard and the best that they could come up with is Hot Dog . . . the Movie? I don’t know who’s in on the joke. I don’t know if I’M in on the joke. In reality, I can’t explain with this cumbersome English language why some aspects of this film make me happy.

If you go into any video store and sit around long enough you will eventually hear someone mention Hot Dog . . . the Movie. They’ll say to their friend, “Oh, have you ever seen Hot Dog . . . the Movie?” “No, I haven’t. Have you?” “No, but I thinks it’s awesome.” “Yeah, it’s awesome.” No one has really ever seen Hot Dog . . . the Movie. It’s something of a mythological movie. People just have to feel it’s presence, and it brings them pleasure.

So here’s my suggestion: don’t rent Hot Dog . . . the Movie. Just look at the cover of its box and read the title over and over again. That will bring you more joy than you’ll probably get from watching the film. The film has charisma, but charisma is a dangerous thing. You may embrace it or it may push you away. Do you dare gamble with something called Hot Dog . . . the Movie?

Oh, but it does have some good skiing in it.

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=2640&reviewer=421
originally posted: 09/06/03 14:01:36
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