"Fat jokes and racial stereotypes? Worse than a Tim Allen movie."
This flick came out with what could only be called a moderate release. Stupid fat guy being ninja, who'd've thunk it could have made like a gazillion bucks? Nobody... except those that realised that the American viewing public is a collective moron.And once this thing had cleaned up like a team of Mexican grandmothers (see? Racial stereotypes are sooo boring) the studios got wise. They got jiggy wid it. they realised that if you get a five year old D&D player to write a script, stick a mediocre SNL comedian or cast member of Friends in it and open wide, morons pay you money to be allowed in. Lots of morons. More morons than you'd find in the recently democratised nation of Moronia. More morons than your average Green Bay Packers crowd. More morons than you'd find at a Truck and Tractor Pull in a southern prison. Every single moron there is, ever, anywhere, will come and they'll buy that awful cinema nachos too. They won't even sneak in food. They're stupid, see?
Hence we got The Waterboy. Night At The Roxbury. Fools Rush In. Kissing A Fool. Heck, any Schwimmer film. Big Daddy.
But I digress. You didn't want a history lesson. You wanted to know about Beverly Hills Ninja.
Well it's a dumb movie.
Chris Farley is a big knucklehead. He pretends to be a ninja. He's clumsy. Oh-oh! Look out for the danger-words: zany, hijinx, wackiness and ensues.
Can you imagine the pitch? "Well, it's like this... he's fat... and he's a ninja... who always messes up! Are ya with me? Can you see the possibilities here? This is gold, people! It's never been done before! We'll capture that Karate Kid 4 crowd!"
You want a plot rundown? No, you don't. Hey, don't talk back to me, I'm a review. You don't want a plot rundown, okay?Let's make it simple. Smack yourself in the face right now. Go on. Okay, if you actually reached up and gave yourself a slap in the moosh, you're ready to go see this film. You are clearly THIS FAR from a vegetative state. But if, like me, you refused to inflict physical discomfort on yourself, why would you start now? Just move along and put any thoughts of renting a Chris Farley movie (except Tommy Boy) out of your mind forever.