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Overall Rating
2.66

Awesome: 3.45%
Worth A Look: 27.59%
Average31.03%
Pretty Bad: 6.9%
Total Crap31.03%

2 reviews, 17 user ratings


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Saturn 3
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by Slyder

"The Sci-Fi equivalent of POINTLESS"
1 stars

Some films are completely are devoid of anything worthwhile that simply don’t justify their meaning of existence. This is one of them.

An unquestionably stupid, pathetic and ridiculous story about two lovers (Kirk Douglas and Farrah Fawcett) whom get visited by some evil doctor (Harvey Keitel) who lusts for Fawcett and designs a horny 8-foot robot that later also lusts(!) for Fawcett’s tits and ass.

Good lord. Not even a brief but mandatory flash of Fawcett’s rack or Keitel’s and Douglas’s acting talents can save this totally shitful film from its shittyness: Idiotic story, crappy FX (even by 1980’s standards), snail-like pace, and non-existent direction. Hard to believe that a director like Stanley Donen (Singing in the Rain) would come up with crap like this.

Had Donen grown some brain cells and added a handful of sex scenes with Farrah involving Douglas, Keitel, a threesome between those two, and finally her fucking the robot then maybe he would’ve come up with a nice little campy soft-core porn show. Who knows if he actually did it at all but got lost in the editing room hence making it what it is now, a worthless pile of garbage. That’s just me guessing, but nevertheless, IT IS GARBAGE! Otherwise I wouldn’t understand why the fuck did Douglas agreed to star in this crap and I doubt it was just to look at Fawcett’s breasts for a minute. Keitel at that point just needed a career.

In the end, avoid this movie at all costs. A couple of minutes of Farrah’s rack do not make up for the remaining 80 minutes of insufferable trash that this film will throw at you. Go get Farrah’s Playboy spread whether from the magazine itself or the internet instead. 0-5

link directly to this review at http://www.efilmcritic.com/review.php?movie=2897&reviewer=235
originally posted: 09/10/04 10:21:53
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User Comments

11/08/14 randy wicker saturn 3 rocks and rolls 4 stars
2/14/14 MatthewThompsonDalldorf Great looking but terrible 2 stars
5/01/12 Big Gus Dickus the seed of a great sci-fi thriller buried in here, but alas it sprouts only fartblossoms 2 stars
12/30/10 Tony Baloza bad, crummy, leave Harvy's voice alone 1 stars
3/22/10 art IT"S A MUCH_-MALIGHNED SCIENCE-FICTION film,any film with FARRAH can't be all that bad 4 stars
11/01/09 art I SAW THIS AT A DRIVE-IN,THE ONLY THING BEAUTIFUL ABOUT IT WAS FARRAH FAWCETT! 1 stars
6/26/09 Tom Miller A big part of my 80's experience. A wonderfully entertaining horribly bad movie. 4 stars
8/31/08 Billy This movie captures fear of the future very well 4 stars
2/21/08 art THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT SATURN 3 is FARRAH FAWCETT # 1 stars
4/25/06 Carol Baker I agree this is just a average movie and not one of Kirk Douglas's Best 3 stars
4/19/06 HANK NOT BAD-GOOD SETS 4 stars
5/09/05 Jeff Anderson Actually very good sci-fi for what it is & watchable thanks to Douglas & Fawcett. 4 stars
9/24/04 Al Guy It held my interest, so not bad. 3 stars
8/15/04 SOLOMON BREWSTER GREAT SCI-FI FLIC, EYE CANDY 4 stars
6/28/03 Nightstalker nice refreshing break from this mainstream friendly sci fi they're boring us with nowadays 4 stars
11/24/02 Charles Tatum I don't know why, but I loved this thing 5 stars
9/02/02 y2mckay OK 80's sci fi with Kirk Douglas and a nanosecond of Farrah's tits 3 stars
IF YOU'VE SEEN THIS FILM, RATE IT!
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USA
  15-Feb-1980 (R)
  DVD: 31-Aug-1999

UK
  N/A

Australia
  N/A


Directed by
  Stanley Donen

Written by
  Martin Amis

Cast
  Kirk Douglas
  Farrah Fawcett
  Harvey Keitel



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